My dad died last Wednesday, funeral was Saturday. He had been wasting away since the week before. He had a stroke right after New Year's and just never recovered. I spent a lot of time breaking down in his room the last week. Happened at least once or twice a day. Especially when he lost all consciousness. I hated so much that he was just laying in that bed.
My dad got run over by a car when he was 20. His leg broke at a complete right angle. It was just like Tyrone Prothro's injury. Except this was in 1951. They wanted to amputate, he didn't and he didn't trust them not to do it anyway. Forced them to use a local anesthetic so he could sit up and watch them operate to make sure they didn't. He was that freaking tough. Seeing him so weak was killing me, for his sake. It was instantly real to me everyday that he was gonna die because he was never that weak, never that frail in his life. But when he died there was nothing left. I haven't cried since.
My mom died 4 years ago. Found out she had lung cancer on Jan 11. They told us she probably had about 6 months with or without chemo. And I was ok because it still wasn't definite. Docs always say shite like that and then the person lives another 6 years. So that didn't mean anything, right? Exactly one month later, Feb 11, she died in the middle of the night, in her own bed, with absolutely no warning. Then I lost it cause then it was real. I cried everyday for weeks. I still cry over her now sometimes.
I think it will hit you when you don't expect it to. You'll probably think you're prepared because you've been ok so far. It might not be until the day she goes, but something will happen that makes it real for you and you won't be able to control it. You'll wonder what the hell happened to being prepared.
This post was edited on 2/5 at 2:45 am