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Message
Funeral protocol question-updated pg 4
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:56 pm
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:56 pm
I've met this girl recently and we've been out a couple of times and we both seem to really like each other. We are not exclusive with each other yet but feel it's heading that direction. So her dad is terminally ill with cancer. He may only have another week or two. At the time of the funeral I'm uncertain to what extent I should pay my respects. I'm certainly going to go but not certain for how long or the entire service up and through the burial.
Any advice? TIA
Any advice? TIA
This post was edited on 9/22/15 at 8:23 pm
37
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:57 pm to foj1981
How old Are you both and how serious you want to get?
She will remember those times and moments forever, keep that in mind.
She will remember those times and moments forever, keep that in mind.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:58 pm to foj1981
If you don't go, you're an arse.
I would go to the service but not the burial. If you're not exclusive, there's no need to make it awkward by being at the burial.
Don't forget to buy a very nice and respectful flower arrangement though. You need to do that.
I would go to the service but not the burial. If you're not exclusive, there's no need to make it awkward by being at the burial.
Don't forget to buy a very nice and respectful flower arrangement though. You need to do that.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:58 pm to foj1981
Stay the entire time with her. Don't crowd her. Just be there for her in any capacity she may need
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:59 pm to foj1981
Play it by ear if you think she feels good about you. And of course talk to her how she feels about this.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:59 pm to foj1981
Tell her you're there for her. In time, you can remove the "for her" part. Then you are just there
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:00 pm to TechDawg2007
I was just kidding about PIIHB. She needs your support.
Make sure you touch her often and awkwardly. Also interject yourself into conversations without prompting. It's her dad's funeral. I'm sure all of his friends and family will appreciate having some goon hovering around.
quote:
Stay the entire time with her. Don't crowd her. Just be there for her in any capacity she may need
Make sure you touch her often and awkwardly. Also interject yourself into conversations without prompting. It's her dad's funeral. I'm sure all of his friends and family will appreciate having some goon hovering around.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:03 pm to TechDawg2007
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:03 pm to foj1981
There is no downside to being there.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:07 pm to foj1981
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:08 pm to foj1981
Ask her. Offer to be there, but give her an out if she doesn't.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:15 pm to foj1981
quote:
. I'm certainly going to go but not certain for how long or the entire service up and through the burial.
this is weird as hell. You either go or don't; going for half isn't an option.
Let her know you're there for whatever she wants, and if she wants you to be there with her you will. Pretty simple really.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:15 pm to foj1981
If the visitation is the day before at the funeral home, I would go early with her or meet her there. You can say hello to the family and offer your condolences as well. Typically they also have a "break room" available for the family...I'd offer to help in this regard (setting up food/drinks/etc).
I'd obviously go to the funeral and burial but not sit with the family unless otherwise requested by her.
I'd obviously go to the funeral and burial but not sit with the family unless otherwise requested by her.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:16 pm to foj1981
What the high fidelity funeral scene
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:17 pm to foj1981
quote:
So her dad is terminally ill with cancer.
Ask her what size shoe he wears.
Many folks die with lots of wear left in lots of their shoes.
Your welcomed in advance.
PS: PIIHB as well. It's the ultimate "comfort" position.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:18 pm to Hulk Hogan
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:18 pm to Golfer
quote:
I would go early with her or meet her there.
That's going to be strange when Mandingo is already there draped over her.
quote:
I'd obviously go to the funeral and burial but not sit with the family unless otherwise requested by her.
Golfer is pretty smart.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:19 pm to foj1981
Tell her you'll be there for her the entire time if she wants you to be, but that you understand if she wants to be alone with family for some parts and to just let you know when those times are and that you won't be offended.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:21 pm to LSUChamp06
quote:
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
They won't be at yours no matter what if they die first.
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