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Funeral protocol question-updated pg 4

Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:56 pm
Posted by foj1981
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2013
3737 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:56 pm
I've met this girl recently and we've been out a couple of times and we both seem to really like each other. We are not exclusive with each other yet but feel it's heading that direction. So her dad is terminally ill with cancer. He may only have another week or two. At the time of the funeral I'm uncertain to what extent I should pay my respects. I'm certainly going to go but not certain for how long or the entire service up and through the burial.

Any advice? TIA
This post was edited on 9/22/15 at 8:23 pm
Posted by Artie Rome
Hwy 1
Member since Jul 2014
8757 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:56 pm to
PIIHB.
Posted by SEClint
New Orleans, LA/Portland, OR
Member since Nov 2006
48769 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:57 pm to
How old Are you both and how serious you want to get?

She will remember those times and moments forever, keep that in mind.
Posted by TDsngumbo
Alpha Silverfox
Member since Oct 2011
41534 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:58 pm to
If you don't go, you're an arse.

I would go to the service but not the burial. If you're not exclusive, there's no need to make it awkward by being at the burial.

Don't forget to buy a very nice and respectful flower arrangement though. You need to do that.
Posted by TechDawg2007
Bawville
Member since Nov 2007
32249 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:58 pm to
Stay the entire time with her. Don't crowd her. Just be there for her in any capacity she may need
Posted by fishfighter
RIP
Member since Apr 2008
40026 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:59 pm to
Play it by ear if you think she feels good about you. And of course talk to her how she feels about this.
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
32701 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 2:59 pm to
Tell her you're there for her. In time, you can remove the "for her" part. Then you are just there
Posted by Artie Rome
Hwy 1
Member since Jul 2014
8757 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:00 pm to
I was just kidding about PIIHB. She needs your support.

quote:

Stay the entire time with her. Don't crowd her. Just be there for her in any capacity she may need


Make sure you touch her often and awkwardly. Also interject yourself into conversations without prompting. It's her dad's funeral. I'm sure all of his friends and family will appreciate having some goon hovering around.

Posted by htownjeep
Republic of Texas
Member since Jun 2005
7612 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:03 pm to
Posted by chryso
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2008
11851 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:03 pm to
There is no downside to being there.
Posted by LSUBoo
Knoxville, TN
Member since Mar 2006
101915 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:07 pm to
Posted by Loveland Tiger
Colorado
Member since Nov 2014
5259 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:08 pm to
Ask her. Offer to be there, but give her an out if she doesn't.

Posted by WG_Dawg
Hoover
Member since Jun 2004
86438 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:15 pm to
quote:

. I'm certainly going to go but not certain for how long or the entire service up and through the burial.


this is weird as hell. You either go or don't; going for half isn't an option.


Let her know you're there for whatever she wants, and if she wants you to be there with her you will. Pretty simple really.
Posted by Golfer
Member since Nov 2005
75052 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:15 pm to
If the visitation is the day before at the funeral home, I would go early with her or meet her there. You can say hello to the family and offer your condolences as well. Typically they also have a "break room" available for the family...I'd offer to help in this regard (setting up food/drinks/etc).

I'd obviously go to the funeral and burial but not sit with the family unless otherwise requested by her.
Posted by Hulk Hogan
Member since Jun 2008
2436 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:16 pm to
What the high fidelity funeral scene
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65525 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:17 pm to
quote:

So her dad is terminally ill with cancer.

Ask her what size shoe he wears.

Many folks die with lots of wear left in lots of their shoes.

Your welcomed in advance.

PS: PIIHB as well. It's the ultimate "comfort" position.
Posted by LSUChamp06
Kansas City
Member since Nov 2007
2859 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:18 pm to
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Posted by Artie Rome
Hwy 1
Member since Jul 2014
8757 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:18 pm to
quote:

I would go early with her or meet her there.


That's going to be strange when Mandingo is already there draped over her.

quote:

I'd obviously go to the funeral and burial but not sit with the family unless otherwise requested by her.


Golfer is pretty smart.
Posted by Ash Williams
South of i-10
Member since May 2009
18144 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:19 pm to
Tell her you'll be there for her the entire time if she wants you to be, but that you understand if she wants to be alone with family for some parts and to just let you know when those times are and that you won't be offended.
Posted by The Boat
Member since Oct 2008
164023 posts
Posted on 9/1/15 at 3:21 pm to
quote:

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

They won't be at yours no matter what if they die first.
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