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Message
Families and the OT
Posted on 3/9/15 at 10:47 pm
Posted on 3/9/15 at 10:47 pm
I was just reading the thread about not getting married and I am 22 and have never been married.
When I read how people on here think marriage is a farce and pointless and for the most part I agree that most woman out there aren't wife material, I wholeheartedly disagree with the overall sentiment of that thread.
Forgetting about the "family" (father, mother, daughters and sons) and focusing only on caring for ourselves, for our own so called happiness or pleasure, is just arse backwards.
Caring for others rather than yourself is what real joy is, or so I think. Constantly pursuing your own happiness seems hollow and not fullfilling in the long run.
Older OT's give me a run down of what you have learned over the years.
When I read how people on here think marriage is a farce and pointless and for the most part I agree that most woman out there aren't wife material, I wholeheartedly disagree with the overall sentiment of that thread.
Forgetting about the "family" (father, mother, daughters and sons) and focusing only on caring for ourselves, for our own so called happiness or pleasure, is just arse backwards.
Caring for others rather than yourself is what real joy is, or so I think. Constantly pursuing your own happiness seems hollow and not fullfilling in the long run.
Older OT's give me a run down of what you have learned over the years.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 10:54 pm to RickySauwce
If you go through life without ever having children, you have truly missed out.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 10:54 pm to RickySauwce
It's all about what you feel will result in a fulfilling life. For some (myself included) that involves a wife and family and I wouldn't have it any other way. For others that's not the case and I can't judge them for that, as long as they feel it's what's right for them, that's all that matters. People have different reasons for their choices.
Life gets a lot better when you don't worry what others think and you focus on what brings you happiness.
ETA: by that last part I don't mean using people, etc for happiness but rather doing things because you believe they will lead to a fulfilling life and not because "you're supposed to do them." Also not saying to you have to rush into it. You have plenty of time.
Life gets a lot better when you don't worry what others think and you focus on what brings you happiness.
ETA: by that last part I don't mean using people, etc for happiness but rather doing things because you believe they will lead to a fulfilling life and not because "you're supposed to do them." Also not saying to you have to rush into it. You have plenty of time.
This post was edited on 3/9/15 at 11:10 pm
Posted on 3/9/15 at 10:58 pm to RickySauwce
quote:Not getting married =/= not caring for someone
Caring for others rather than yourself is what real joy is, or so I think. Constantly pursuing your own happiness seems hollow and not fullfilling in the long run.
I'm one of the more loving people I know. I very giving.
I also know that if you aren't happy yourself then you will never make anyone else happy either.
Sounds harsh but you have to look out for number one to be able to look out for number two.
Good luck Ricky
Posted on 3/9/15 at 11:00 pm to RickySauwce
It would be nice if you could just bang chicks forever. However, you reach a point where ur too old to pull quality and it's probably too late to find anything but a 2nd tier wife. Maybe. Maybe we get married cuz we're scared of that happening. Idk.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 11:00 pm to SuperSaint
quote:That's some of the best advice you'll get. More true than most realize.
I also know that if you aren't happy yourself then you will never make anyone else happy either.
Sounds harsh but you have to look out for number one to be able to look out for number two.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 11:05 pm to RickySauwce
Enjoy being 22 as long as you can.
He'll your entire 20s for that matter.
Then you'll want more outa life.
Bigger house.
More money
Nicer car
Bigger vacations
Nice family with wife that puts out and couple kids you would die for
Don't rush it.
He'll your entire 20s for that matter.
Then you'll want more outa life.
Bigger house.
More money
Nicer car
Bigger vacations
Nice family with wife that puts out and couple kids you would die for
Don't rush it.
This post was edited on 3/9/15 at 11:06 pm
Posted on 3/9/15 at 11:17 pm to RickySauwce
quote:
Forgetting about the "family" (father, mother, daughters and sons) and focusing only on caring for ourselves, for our own so called happiness or pleasure, is just arse backwards.
Caring for others rather than yourself is what real joy is, or so I think. Constantly pursuing your own happiness seems hollow and not fullfilling in the long run.
Incredible insight for someone that is 22...I wasn't as mature as you when I was that age.
quote:
Older OT's give me a run down of what you have learned over the years.
Communication is key and she has to be your best friend.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 11:27 pm to RickySauwce
Have an upvote. Great post OP. You are type of man I hope my little girl marries one day
Posted on 3/9/15 at 11:30 pm to Tiger Ryno
As for advice I only have this....choose well When it comes to a mate. Don't look at only the superficial bit closely examine the character of her and those who are closest to her.....
Also understand you will find the greatest fulfillment when you realize this life is not about being personally happy all the time as the world defines it. Those happy people are the ones getting divorced and having affairs.
Also understand you will find the greatest fulfillment when you realize this life is not about being personally happy all the time as the world defines it. Those happy people are the ones getting divorced and having affairs.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 11:32 pm to RickySauwce
quote:
Constantly pursuing your own happiness seems hollow and not fullfilling in the long run.
Well, you're wrong. Different strokes, baw.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 11:40 pm to RickySauwce
Your post makes you look wise for your years.
But the fact that you believe what these knuckleheads type on the OT resembles what they actually believe or do in real life....shows lack of discernment
But the fact that you believe what these knuckleheads type on the OT resembles what they actually believe or do in real life....shows lack of discernment
Posted on 3/9/15 at 11:44 pm to RickySauwce
quote:
When I read how people on here think marriage is a farce and pointless and for the most part I agree that most woman out there aren't wife material, I wholeheartedly disagree with the overall sentiment of that thread.
Folks who post such things are usually either too young/immature to see the error of their ways, or too old and fricked things up and got bitter.
I got married a month before my 23rd birthday in 2011 (no kids yet), and have never been happier.
Because I work to make her happy and she does the same for me. It's not about giving up all that makes you happy (we each still are passionate about our own pursuits), but when your SO cares about pleasing you/making you happy, it frees you up to be selfless in return.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 11:50 pm to Shexter
quote:
If you go through life without ever having children, you have truly missed out.
Yes, I didn't think I was Dad material. I was wrong, it's the most important thing I've done in my life. It helps when you pick the right woman to be your wife too. It's a team effort.
This post was edited on 3/9/15 at 11:51 pm
Posted on 3/9/15 at 11:59 pm to Old Sarge
quote:
But the fact that you believe what these knuckleheads type on the OT resembles what they actually believe or do in real life
I believe in what I said about communication and your spouse being your best friend 100%. That being said, it's a two-way street. If the other doesn't make the same effort, it won't work.
Posted on 3/10/15 at 6:38 am to ByteMe
So what your saying is selfishness in the form of lack of communication will cause marriages to crumble?
males and females are getting less attractive as a monogamous mate just due to how we live on a daily basis. Each sex has grown incapable of self inspection and self criticism.
I am guilty of this as well but Im starting to see the error of my ways.
males and females are getting less attractive as a monogamous mate just due to how we live on a daily basis. Each sex has grown incapable of self inspection and self criticism.
I am guilty of this as well but Im starting to see the error of my ways.
This post was edited on 3/10/15 at 6:41 am
Posted on 3/10/15 at 6:40 am to RickySauwce
You will be OK if you play by the happy wife happy life adage
Posted on 3/10/15 at 6:45 am to RickySauwce
You have a good head on your shoulders and you'll most likely be a happy/content older guy in the future. Keep being you and keep doing what you feel is right. I hope there are many more like you out there.
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