re: Double Spinoff: What's the Worst Strip Club Experience You've Ever Had?

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I turned 30 and was living in Lake Charles at the time. My cousin, Kashonly, came in to celebrate. He decides to find a strip club to get a dance for me. We find this place called Geaux Geaux's. This was a Wednesday night so not many people were there. We walk into the club and there is a black stripper at the bar. While ordering drinks, he starts a conversation with her and winds up ordering her a drink. $25 for a drink.
Kashonly tells me to pick a chick for a dance so I start looking around. There was a little stage and hanging down on a chain was a hula hoop. And swinging in this hula hoop was a woman in her mid-late 40's that weighed about 275 lbs easily. Saw this young cute chick by the bar and those were my only 3 choices so I picked the young chick.
Kashonly pays the whale that was swinging in the hula hoop on stage. She says they only give table dances. She comes up to me and says to sit down and the dancer will begin shortly. So the cutie gets up on the table and starts dancing. Next thing I see is the cutie starting to cry. Mascara is running down her face. I'm thinking . She finishes the dance then gets down off the table. Come to find out this was her very first night "dancing" and she was so humiliated that she quit later that night.

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This me me think of the old Bloodhound Gang classic...

The lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying

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Every time I hear that song it reminds me of that day!

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.... "it give me such a thrill when she grinds me against her will"

You need to edit that to (no message)

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Stayed less than an hour and left actually feeling sorry for everyone in the place. It was pretty pathetic

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This has pretty much been my experience in every strip club.

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A stripper shite all over my friend, that right there is hard to top.

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Details. Or have they already been provided?

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Details

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"So there we were at Skanky Pete's House of Silicon. Drunk as shite. So Sharkeisha came up and started grinding on my buddy...twerking and shite. Then she gets this look on her face...her eyes start to bug out and her lips curl...but she keeps right on twerking...and then, she lets out a grunt, and the g-string tightens like a banjo e-chord, a geyser of diarrhea shoots forth from her dark chocolate starfish in twin streams. My buddies white shirt turns the color of melted Snickers and the smell of a dumpster fire filled with diapers wafts up. He holds his lips tight and his cheeks puff out like Louie Armstrong but can't hold back the geyser. It spurts up chimichangas all over Sharkeisha's still spewing doo-doo box and the two entwine, like a hobo coupling..."

Page 2, fr33 took the real account and sort of ran with it.

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Got period blood on my shirt in Stl. Looked like a red river going down my shirt.

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Daaaaaaamn that's just disgusting.

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Without a doubt has to be foxy's. I've been there once. You're lucky if the girls have teeth.

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Yep, that's the place. In a little town out in the middle of Bumfrick Egypt called Walnut Grove.

I remember they only had two dancers, no DJ, just a jukebox next to the stage and the dancer would use for her song(s). The time we went in there one dancer did one dance and it was decent and she looked not too bad methy. The other dancer looked like she'd just birthed her 7th kid earlier that day. When she bent over her gut literally hung down limply like a deflated cow tit. And for some odd reason she was wearing a fricking toboggan. When she got up to "dance" she mostly just sort of swayed a little with a blank look on her face and before the song was over she just sat down on the stage and started looking on her phone. It was one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen.