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Started By
Message
Did you honor your grandparents?
Posted on 3/21/16 at 12:35 am
Posted on 3/21/16 at 12:35 am
My grandfather served in WWII. By the time he was old enough to live closer to my family (moved to a nursing home), I was a teenager who treated going to visit him more as a chore than an opportunity. He died 9 years ago, and now I regret how I felt and wish I could go back and treat him with the respect he deserved and listened more.
I guess older people make me uncomfortable, but I shouldn't have felt that way with my own grandfather. Obviously there's nothing to be done about it now.
I guess older people make me uncomfortable, but I shouldn't have felt that way with my own grandfather. Obviously there's nothing to be done about it now.
17
Posted on 3/21/16 at 12:39 am to AbitaFan08
All passed away before I could really appreciate anything. I was still in elementary school when the last one passed.
Still have good memories of them though
Still have good memories of them though
Posted on 3/21/16 at 12:44 am to AbitaFan08
My last great-grandparent died this past Wednesday at the age of 97. He was a WWII veteran. Just hope one day I can be half the man he was.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 12:44 am to AbitaFan08
I think I did.
I wasn't as close to my paternal grandparents. I feel really bad about that but I was usually respectful and engaging when I visited them.
My maternal grandparents were like my second parents. I felt bad how I treated my grandfather toward the end of his life, however. I think I avoided him because I hated seeing him in his condition. But I feel as if I made up for that by the way I treated my grandmother for the final years of her life. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't take her for granted.
When she passed away of lung cancer just over four years later, while sad, I was more at peace with it then I was when my grandfather died.
I wasn't as close to my paternal grandparents. I feel really bad about that but I was usually respectful and engaging when I visited them.
My maternal grandparents were like my second parents. I felt bad how I treated my grandfather toward the end of his life, however. I think I avoided him because I hated seeing him in his condition. But I feel as if I made up for that by the way I treated my grandmother for the final years of her life. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't take her for granted.
When she passed away of lung cancer just over four years later, while sad, I was more at peace with it then I was when my grandfather died.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 12:45 am to AbitaFan08
quote:This as well.
All passed away before I could really appreciate anything. I was still in elementary school when the last one passed.
As to the honoring part, my aunts & uncles who know me well are proud of who I am.
I guess that means I'm doing somethings right.
My grandparents from both sides are all in the same graveyard.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 1:11 am to AbitaFan08
My maternal grandma lived to be in her 9O's and I was blessed to be able to be her caretaker at the end of her life. My mom and would take alternating shifts of about 3 weeks each to go and stay with her so she could stay in her house. We did this for 3 years even though i lived 150 miles from gram and mom lived in another state.
Gram was about 150 miles away from where i live so it was difficult at time to be away from my husband for so long. However when I asked him if he was OK with the arrangement he said " Go! If I had the chance to see my gram again, I would be with her as much as possible"
Gram had a fascinating life. My grandad was in the service during the war and she went to Japan to live with him with their 4 kids (and came back with 5, lol!). She could tell some great stories of their trip to Japan on the ship.
I had a great time with my gram during my time caring for her. We cut up, laughed, had cake for breakfast if she wanted and became very close. We talked so much in a way we had never done before. We became true friends as we dealt with everything together as i cared for her.
I sure miss that woman. I asked her if she would have preferred to live in a assisted living place and she said " hell no, those places are full of old people. I don't like hanging out with old people!" (She was about 93 at that time so i am pretty sure most of those "old people" would have been younger than her)
Gram was about 150 miles away from where i live so it was difficult at time to be away from my husband for so long. However when I asked him if he was OK with the arrangement he said " Go! If I had the chance to see my gram again, I would be with her as much as possible"
Gram had a fascinating life. My grandad was in the service during the war and she went to Japan to live with him with their 4 kids (and came back with 5, lol!). She could tell some great stories of their trip to Japan on the ship.
I had a great time with my gram during my time caring for her. We cut up, laughed, had cake for breakfast if she wanted and became very close. We talked so much in a way we had never done before. We became true friends as we dealt with everything together as i cared for her.
I sure miss that woman. I asked her if she would have preferred to live in a assisted living place and she said " hell no, those places are full of old people. I don't like hanging out with old people!" (She was about 93 at that time so i am pretty sure most of those "old people" would have been younger than her)
Posted on 3/21/16 at 1:40 am to hg
quote:
Just hope one day I can be half the man he was.
They don't make em like they used to.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 1:45 am to TheAlmightySmash
My grandfather was my best friend. The one i wish i could have been there more for is my father who is being buried this morning. Alcohol took over his life and you always wonder if you could have done more.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 1:56 am to AbitaFan08
It's funny how a thread on the OT came up like this but my grandfather also served and he now has severe dementia and doesn't remember me.
I spent a lot of time with him and was real close to him up until 3 years ago. I've lost touch recently to that part of the fam living time zones away and had a tough time when all that started for him.
I don't call my grandmother as much as I should to check on her, she's a great person and I couldn't imagine dealing w that for someone I was so close to for 60 plus years.
Appreciation is shown through being there for people when they need you and aside from this thread I've had some remorse lately for not contacting those close to his situation more and being distant due to being uncomfortable and not knowing how to deal.
These kinds of situations are shitty but it's part of life and they are part of why I'm who I am now and I should honor that more
I spent a lot of time with him and was real close to him up until 3 years ago. I've lost touch recently to that part of the fam living time zones away and had a tough time when all that started for him.
I don't call my grandmother as much as I should to check on her, she's a great person and I couldn't imagine dealing w that for someone I was so close to for 60 plus years.
Appreciation is shown through being there for people when they need you and aside from this thread I've had some remorse lately for not contacting those close to his situation more and being distant due to being uncomfortable and not knowing how to deal.
These kinds of situations are shitty but it's part of life and they are part of why I'm who I am now and I should honor that more
Posted on 3/21/16 at 3:06 am to shoelessjoe
quote:
you always wonder if you could have done more.
This is what is so insidious about addiction.
There is nothing you could have done.
Dr. Frederick K. C. Price had an interesting view on addiction. He said that he had counseled thousands of addicts. He said he never counseled anyone addicted to drinking out of a dirty toilet. He said everyone was addicted to doing something they liked.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 6:31 am to AbitaFan08
I only had one living grandparent when I was born. He served in WWI and flew in France. Put him in elite company for sure. He was a quiet and honorable man.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 6:40 am to AbitaFan08
My paternal grandparents died when I was off at college, and I always regretted that I didn't spend more time with them in their last days. My maternal grandmother lived well into my adulthood (my maternal grandfather died when I was 12). She lived in the same town, and I tried to visit with her at least two or three times a week. If she had an out of town Dr appointment or wanted to go visiting, I would drive her. I will never forget that, and I'm glad I was able to do it.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 6:47 am to AbitaFan08
Some of my best memories were with my Grandparents. Often I wish I could go back to those days.
I lost my last Grandparent two months ago, she was 90. My son is 9 and he has only 1 left. I feel sad that he will not have that experience like I did.
I lost my last Grandparent two months ago, she was 90. My son is 9 and he has only 1 left. I feel sad that he will not have that experience like I did.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 6:53 am to AbitaFan08
My grandfather was a Hero, and not day goes by where I don't miss him
Posted on 3/21/16 at 7:04 am to AbitaFan08
I find it difficult. My grandmother on my mom's side passed away when I was in college, and that was probably about the most "normal" loss for me. It was tough, but she had been in and out of the hospital for years with heart problems.
My grandfather on that side just lost it after she passed. He was never the same and visiting pretty much became awkward. There were times he just didn't talk to anyone. Last time I saw him, he didn't talk to anyone in the nursing home for the hour or so we were there. But for some reason, told me bye when we left. Never saw him again.
On my dad's side, they are both still alive. But my grandma has dementia and forgets who I am. Grandpa is in his mid 90's and although he's 100% still there mentally, he just appears to be depressed since his body is just getting too old and he's constantly having to remind my grandma where she is. It's not the same talking with him. It's difficult to see.
My grandfather on that side just lost it after she passed. He was never the same and visiting pretty much became awkward. There were times he just didn't talk to anyone. Last time I saw him, he didn't talk to anyone in the nursing home for the hour or so we were there. But for some reason, told me bye when we left. Never saw him again.
On my dad's side, they are both still alive. But my grandma has dementia and forgets who I am. Grandpa is in his mid 90's and although he's 100% still there mentally, he just appears to be depressed since his body is just getting too old and he's constantly having to remind my grandma where she is. It's not the same talking with him. It's difficult to see.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 7:04 am to hg
My dad'said dad was a Marine in WW2. He fought on Guadalcanal, Tarawa, Sipan and Tinian.
On my mother'said side, her dad fought in the European theater with Patton in The Battle of the Bulg.
On my mother'said side, her dad fought in the European theater with Patton in The Battle of the Bulg.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 7:12 am to AbitaFan08
Not in a manner they deserved
Posted on 3/21/16 at 7:14 am to AbitaFan08
Maternal side was just my grandmother, she was a second mother to me. So supportive, did so much for me, I'd have done anything for her. I was in my 20s when she died, miss her a lot. Kind of honored her with my daughter's middle name (blend of her name & my mom's name, who died weeks before daughter was born). If it had been up to me alone, I'd have named my daughter for her, but my husband put the kabash on it.
Paternal side both lived into my 20s but we were never close. After my parents' divorce when I was 4, we were 3rd class citizens. They lived 12 miles away but never visited us. Yet at g- father's funeral, eulogy mentions how he'd drive 3 hours to visit random people.
Gifts to us & other grandkids were grossly unbalanced. One Xmas, my card had my name misspelled. Once when I was 17, I was low on gas while visiting my dad, who lived across the street from them. He had no cash on him, said let's go ask grandpa. Grandpa says, here's $5, you can pay me back later.
WWII stories were not ones to be particularly proud of. Can't really bring myself to honor them much. Someone told me that my maiden name would've made a good boys name. Haha, no thanks.
Paternal side both lived into my 20s but we were never close. After my parents' divorce when I was 4, we were 3rd class citizens. They lived 12 miles away but never visited us. Yet at g- father's funeral, eulogy mentions how he'd drive 3 hours to visit random people.
Gifts to us & other grandkids were grossly unbalanced. One Xmas, my card had my name misspelled. Once when I was 17, I was low on gas while visiting my dad, who lived across the street from them. He had no cash on him, said let's go ask grandpa. Grandpa says, here's $5, you can pay me back later.
WWII stories were not ones to be particularly proud of. Can't really bring myself to honor them much. Someone told me that my maiden name would've made a good boys name. Haha, no thanks.
Posted on 3/21/16 at 7:16 am to AbitaFan08
quote:
He died 9 years ago, and now I regret how I felt and wish I could go back and treat him with the respect he deserved and listened more.
He knows now...the spirit lives on and now knows
the moment you think of them, they know...
Posted on 3/21/16 at 7:18 am to AbitaFan08
I honored all of them. One is still alive but up there in age. I call every week and visit 2x a year on my own volition. I had pass away in 2010. Great great man!
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