Christmas bonus. What do you usually get?

Jelly of the month club

Bout tree fiddy

$0

Not so subtle brag

Ours isn't at Christmas but in June. We get up to 20%. For Christmas we get either a $500 spa package or an executive membership to the airport lounge of our choice.

Nothing.

Oh wait...

They usually email us on Christmas Eve and tell us to go home early. Does that count?

I don't get shite. My employees get a minimum of $600, but most get anywhere from 10-25% of their yearly pay depending on effort, attitude and production. Bitches get less, lazy frickers get the minimum (and replaced after holidays) and anyone that asks about their bonus gets less. Shut the frick up, do your job and what I say, show up on time, go the extra mile and I'll take good care of you. I've never had a employee leave and not beg for their job back.

Smallest bonus this year was $250 but she'd only been there a month. Just hated for everyone else to get something and her not. Plus she's hot as hell. Largest was $10k. Bonuses are great incentives and I have no clue why more employers don't use them. Mine are not based on profits, only effort, production and other subjective factors. I know a competitor that gave company logo'd shite they had left over from some PR events. These cheap mf'ers around here make it easy as hell to cherry pick good employees.

A thank you.

"Congratulations! You still have a job next month."

Does that count as a bonus?

No Christmas bonus cause the owner's Jewish, or at least he claims to be. But if he makes the claim just to avoid the bonus, I guess it makes him de facto Jewish.