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Cant stand this guy in my new GF's social circle

Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:01 am
Posted by SirWinston
PNW
Member since Jul 2014
81285 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:01 am
Guy definitely seems like a threat to me and is a complete a-hole. My GF worships him because they're been friends for ages and he's a professor in a field that she's passionate about (that's how they met).

I know to "act alpha" and shite, but it's tough for me to appear cool in social situations with the guy because by definition when we meet up with him and his GF and his group it's automatically not going to be on my terms - he'll know everybody in the group and he's a regular at the bars we meet them at, and I'm the new guy who has no background or nothing to talk about.

This dude is one of those people that has no problem talking about all the irons he has in the fire, all the side projects he's got going on, the people he socializes with, etc. So annoying. The thing that pisses me off is that I know for a fact that I make more money than him but my job just isn't that interesting. I only bring this up because it just adds to my frustration - like "I'm better than this dude - it's not like he's Tom Brady or Ben Affleck. WTF are my relatively strong social skills and situational schmoozing rendered to ineffective to others around the table when I'm in this rotten crowd?".

Yes he's clearly in my head and I realize that's a problem. I think my GF knows that I'm not a fan, which makes it worse. Any suggestions or tips for how to handle this - I really don't want to keep hanging out with this dude.
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 4:16 am
Posted by TigerChief10
Member since Dec 2012
10858 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:04 am to
Start talking to his gf more
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 4:07 am
Posted by SirWinston
PNW
Member since Jul 2014
81285 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:08 am to
I try but she's miserable that her BF is obviously flirting and having a great time schmoozing other women. I also try talking with other people in the setting but it just gets old. I know the textbook answer is to mingle and flirt with other women myself so I guess I just have to buck myself up and do that next time.

I fricking hate these games though.
This post was edited on 11/25/14 at 1:35 pm
Posted by euquol
New Orleans
Member since Jan 2012
2736 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:13 am to
You have absolutely nothing in common with her friend? I mean I think most people have at least one thing in common with another person, no matter how small.

Or is it that you just do not like him and do not want to find something in common?
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83927 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:13 am to
You're posting about this at 4 in the morning. Think about that. If your gf hasn't fricked him already, she's going to.
Posted by euquol
New Orleans
Member since Jan 2012
2736 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:14 am to
Nevermind scratch all that
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83927 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:16 am to
quote:

She'd have never acted this way before we went exclusive b/c she was still trying to win me over.


She is testing boundaries, dude. She's the cheating type.
Posted by TrueTiger
Chicken's most valuable
Member since Sep 2004
67635 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:16 am to
You could Dexter his arse.
Posted by BRgetthenet
Member since Oct 2011
117678 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:17 am to
Yeah

SirWinston prolly wouldn't mike gargling his cock a little his ownself.
Posted by SirWinston
PNW
Member since Jul 2014
81285 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:18 am to
quote:

You're posting about this at 4 in the morning. Think about that. If your gf hasn't fricked him already, she's going to.


I am focused on the go-forward.

And no, he has no interest in talking to me - he only wants to talk to other women. I know everything about this guy b/c my GF talks about him all the time. I'm sure he has no interest in my MBA or does not care or could not name what I do for work.

So how do I handle this when my GF bring him up again and again or when she talks to him the entire time at the bars? I'll make sure that next time we may meet them out that I'll look my best and have some intro lines to talk to other chicks with. If I put it out in the open it will make her more interested in him. If I ignore it than I'm miserable. I'm not really sure how best to handle this.
This post was edited on 11/25/14 at 1:35 pm
Posted by SirWinston
PNW
Member since Jul 2014
81285 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:20 am to
Why would you say this? It adds nothing to the thread and is just a low blow for no reason whatsoever. It's not clever or funny.
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83927 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:23 am to
Well, if she talks about him, act disinterested. Change the subject to about her or the two of you. Personally, I'd just dump her.

quote:

I'll make sure that next time we may meet them out that I'll look my best and have some intro lines to talk to other chicks with.


Nm; you can't be serious

Posted by SirWinston
PNW
Member since Jul 2014
81285 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:23 am to
quote:

She is testing boundaries, dude. She's the cheating type


So you're implying that my only real option is to dump her? I feel like every girl I date is like this - I want to date attractive girls and by nature attractive girls are attention whores.
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 4:25 am
Posted by DrunkerThanThou
Unfortunately Mississippi
Member since Feb 2013
2846 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:24 am to
Dude sounds like a douche. Do you have any successful friends in a similar field but work as opposed to teach. The old saying "those who can't ..teach" is far more accurate than you know. Bring them around and have them utterly shut this guy down with real world experience instead of just theory. Also if you're not easy going or clicking in a certain socials group don't try and force "acting cool", it'll make you look like the douche
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 4:25 am
Posted by lsutothetop
TigerDroppings Elite
Member since Jul 2008
11323 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:24 am to
quote:

My GF worships him because they're been friends for ages and he's a professor in a field that she's passionate about (that's how they met).

Don't make the guy an issue and this will probably keep you out of trouble IMO. Think about it, if they've been friends for ages and she wanted to frick him, they'd have done it already. Whatever chemistry they have probably isn't romantic or sexual or else she'd be with him and not you.

Now if you make the guy an issue and try to wedge yourself between them with some kind of "it's him or me" type shite, you might end up screwing yourself while she's screwing him. But that's easy enough to avoid, especially when you already know this is silly on your part to begin with. Just don't let the hate get to you.

If you just find him annoying to deal with outside of anything with your girlfriend, then just don't spend a lot of time with him. I've never had a girlfriend who made me try to be friends with her friends; most girls will obviously want you to get along with their friends, but if there's one friend in her circle that you just can't stand then I'm sure she won't let that be an issue.

Although with that said...
quote:

I only bring this up because it just adds to my frustration - like "I'm better than this dude - it's not like he's Tom Brady or Ben Affleck. WTF are my relatively strong social skills and situational schmoozing rendered to ineffective to others around the table when I'm in this rotten crowd?".

Quotes like this make you sound jealous and insecure. It's not even about this guy in particular being in your head, it's about the fact that you're letting a guy get in your head, period. If you're so much better, why do you have to reinforce that to yourself by posting on the OT at 4:20 in the morning? It sounds to me like you're not convinced you're better. You're also focusing on the wrong shite - making money is good, making more money is better, but money doesn't make you a more charismatic person, so trying to win a battle of charisma with your paycheck isn't gonna do you shite. Just stop worrying about this dude, if he were a threat to take your girl then your girl would be with him already instead of you.
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83927 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:25 am to
quote:

Okay - I agree with you 100%. So what's the game plan?


I'd break up with her and act lIke it's no big thing, as if she meant nothing to you.
Posted by tcroot
Member since Jan 2013
320 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:25 am to
quote:

I'm sure that she has fricked him in the past,my GF talks about him all the time


Not trying to be a arse, but may want to get out before it's to late.
Posted by SirWinston
PNW
Member since Jul 2014
81285 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:27 am to
I don't have many guy friends because all of my free time for the past 2 years has been dedicated to dating. I also travel a good bit for work.

My idea is to transition now and try to make guy friends (I didn't grow up in this city so literally have only 1 or 2 up here) and that makes me feel like my options are limited.

Posted by efrad
Member since Nov 2007
18644 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:27 am to
Do you go down on your gf? If so, how does his cum taste?
Posted by lsutothetop
TigerDroppings Elite
Member since Jul 2008
11323 posts
Posted on 11/24/14 at 4:27 am to
quote:

So how do I handle this when my GF bring him up again and again or when she talks to him the entire time at the bars?

You talk to your girlfriend so she's talking to you instead of him. If she blows you off to talk to him then you bring up that she blew you off later - but you talk to her about you being blown off as the problem, not that she blew you off to talk to this guy. Your GF shouldn't be blowing you off regardless of who else is around to talk.

I don't see what talking to the other girls around is gonna do for you, though.
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