- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
1
Posted on 1/19/17 at 10:53 am to muricanman
This is a story about an old drunk in Rayvegas. We'll call him Lenny.
Lenny loved to get smashed to oblivion at the little redneck bar in Rayville. Lenny's wife put up with his shite for years. Finally she had enough and decided to make him toe the line or else. Lenny saw the handwriting on the wall and decided he needed to clean up. So he did. Made it a month or so with no booze and no trips to the bar. Lenny's wife was thrilled. Then one day it rained. Lenny always went to the bar when it rained him out of work. He tried to resist but failed miserably. He was in the bar before noon, and stayed there till it closed. Lenny's drunk as shite buddies were somehow sober enough to know Lenny was too fricked up to drive, so one of them drove him home while the other followed in their car. They got Lenny home, rolled him out and hauled arse. Lenny stumbles up to the door. It' locked. So we stumbles around the house trying windows. At last he finds the bathroom window unlocked, so he raises it and belly flops onto the window sill. Like a lot of bathroom windows, Lenny's bathroom window is raised up off the floor a good bit. So as he gets half his inebriated body into the window he starts reaching down with his hands feeling for the bathroom floor. He can't find it so he inces his way further and further in until bam. Lenny crashes head first into the closed lid of the toilet and crumples to the floor. Lenny's wife hears all the commotion, walks into the bathroom and finds him crumpled up on the floor. She flips the light switch and stares down at him in disgust shaking her head and says "Drunk again". Lenny replied "Yea me too".
Lenny loved to get smashed to oblivion at the little redneck bar in Rayville. Lenny's wife put up with his shite for years. Finally she had enough and decided to make him toe the line or else. Lenny saw the handwriting on the wall and decided he needed to clean up. So he did. Made it a month or so with no booze and no trips to the bar. Lenny's wife was thrilled. Then one day it rained. Lenny always went to the bar when it rained him out of work. He tried to resist but failed miserably. He was in the bar before noon, and stayed there till it closed. Lenny's drunk as shite buddies were somehow sober enough to know Lenny was too fricked up to drive, so one of them drove him home while the other followed in their car. They got Lenny home, rolled him out and hauled arse. Lenny stumbles up to the door. It' locked. So we stumbles around the house trying windows. At last he finds the bathroom window unlocked, so he raises it and belly flops onto the window sill. Like a lot of bathroom windows, Lenny's bathroom window is raised up off the floor a good bit. So as he gets half his inebriated body into the window he starts reaching down with his hands feeling for the bathroom floor. He can't find it so he inces his way further and further in until bam. Lenny crashes head first into the closed lid of the toilet and crumples to the floor. Lenny's wife hears all the commotion, walks into the bathroom and finds him crumpled up on the floor. She flips the light switch and stares down at him in disgust shaking her head and says "Drunk again". Lenny replied "Yea me too".
Posted on 1/19/17 at 11:19 am to muricanman
This is a story I know of through friends in the service. I don't know the person this story is about. A close friend of mine was there when this happened. I'll call the person Joe.
Joe is an alcoholic. Joe was also a military pilot. Joe liked to day drink until he passed out on the weekends. So, one Sunday, after a bottle of liquor, Joe passes out on his couch. When he wakes up that evening as the sun is setting, Joe becomes confused. See, Joe thinks that it's Monday morning and that he's late for work. Joe frantically throws on his flight suit and heads to base. Joe gets a DWI at the gate on a Sunday afternoon when he's not even supposed to be there. Needless to say, Joe is no longer a pilot in the military.
Joe is an alcoholic. Joe was also a military pilot. Joe liked to day drink until he passed out on the weekends. So, one Sunday, after a bottle of liquor, Joe passes out on his couch. When he wakes up that evening as the sun is setting, Joe becomes confused. See, Joe thinks that it's Monday morning and that he's late for work. Joe frantically throws on his flight suit and heads to base. Joe gets a DWI at the gate on a Sunday afternoon when he's not even supposed to be there. Needless to say, Joe is no longer a pilot in the military.
Posted on 1/19/17 at 11:22 am to LSUballs
Navy Submariner: Got put ashore on Andros Island, Bahamas along with 9 other shipmates to make room for some sound engineers
We arrive and beer is $.25/bottle at the base bar.
We got HAMMERED, stole golf carts and proceeded to wreck shite around the base. Playing golf cart polo, destroying yard decorations in the officer's housing area. I drunkenly stole a bicycle and tried jumping off it onto a moving golf cart. I failed miserably and have the scar on my chin to prove it.
We get back to the ship and our Chief of the Boat gives us a "get out of captain's mast free" card because he was recently stationed on the ship and he wanted to seem cool to the rest of the crew.
Great time
We arrive and beer is $.25/bottle at the base bar.
We got HAMMERED, stole golf carts and proceeded to wreck shite around the base. Playing golf cart polo, destroying yard decorations in the officer's housing area. I drunkenly stole a bicycle and tried jumping off it onto a moving golf cart. I failed miserably and have the scar on my chin to prove it.
We get back to the ship and our Chief of the Boat gives us a "get out of captain's mast free" card because he was recently stationed on the ship and he wanted to seem cool to the rest of the crew.
Great time
Posted on 1/19/17 at 11:27 am to muricanman
You sound stupid... you're the moron if you don't know that story lol
Posted on 1/19/17 at 11:37 am to Tigeralum2008
quote:
get out of captain's mast free
Hooyah!
Posted on 1/19/17 at 11:41 am to muricanman
I got drunk a pledge auction freshman year and lost my car for 6 months.....
Posted on 1/19/17 at 11:47 am to Cdawg
Cdawg has a remarkable memory for being so fricked up. I think he's embellishing.
Posted on 1/19/17 at 11:54 am to TheEnglishman
A buddy of mine went to Chelsea's in Pecanland Mall after we closed the store. Waiting for us were his gf, and another couple, a black chick and her fireman bf.
We're drinking beer when my buddy discovers it's 2 for 1 night on Jeagermeister shots. He begins ordering them rapidly, drinking one every time, with the fireman and I taking turns on the second shot.
As it turns out, the fireman has been drinking all day and is so fricked up, he winds up throwing up all over the parking lot. When he's finally done, he catches his breath and says in the most pathetic voice I've ever heard, "I ain't never drinkin' with white people again!"
We're drinking beer when my buddy discovers it's 2 for 1 night on Jeagermeister shots. He begins ordering them rapidly, drinking one every time, with the fireman and I taking turns on the second shot.
As it turns out, the fireman has been drinking all day and is so fricked up, he winds up throwing up all over the parking lot. When he's finally done, he catches his breath and says in the most pathetic voice I've ever heard, "I ain't never drinkin' with white people again!"
Posted on 1/19/17 at 11:57 am to terriblegreen
Posted on 1/19/17 at 11:58 am to FightinTigersDammit
quote:
Chelsea's in Pecanland Mal
Wow! That's a blast from the past.
I don't know where to start on my stories. The list would be too long. Good thing I quit drinking in 99.
Posted on 1/19/17 at 12:01 pm to muricanman
Once I was so drunk, I shite someone else's pants.
Posted on 1/19/17 at 12:02 pm to Christopher Columbo
you were once so drunk you blew Charlie Mars.
Posted on 1/19/17 at 12:06 pm to Christopher Columbo
HA!
Got so drunk one night in college I convinced myself I lost my dick in the drain. Sat on the drain for about 2 hours trying to reach in to retrieve my dick. Buddy found me and told me the next day. fricker left me out there from midnight to around 2am, while he went back into the bar and drink all the while I'm outside sitting on a fricking drain searching. Luckily I looked in my pants that morning and it was still there.
Got so drunk one night in college I convinced myself I lost my dick in the drain. Sat on the drain for about 2 hours trying to reach in to retrieve my dick. Buddy found me and told me the next day. fricker left me out there from midnight to around 2am, while he went back into the bar and drink all the while I'm outside sitting on a fricking drain searching. Luckily I looked in my pants that morning and it was still there.
Posted on 1/19/17 at 12:07 pm to muricanman
My freshman year of college, one of my friend's parents owned a condo in Destin and a big group of us went for Memorial Day weekend. One night we met a group of girls on the beach and hit it off and drank until after midnight, when somebody decided it would be a good idea to take my buddy's dads mastercraft to crab island. All was well until about 3 am when we decided to head back. Everyone was beyond inebriated. After about an hour of driving the boat we come within 500 yards of a container ship. I realize we had made a terrible mistake and had gone about an hour in the wrong directions. We were at least 3 to 4 miles out to sea. Could've been a disaster.
Posted on 1/19/17 at 12:14 pm to muricanman
A girl I worked with in my early 20's told me this about someone I knew.
They took him home with them after the Bar had let out because he was so drunk.
Sometime during the early morning hours he took a shite in the garbage can in the kitchen.And wiped his arse with English Muffins.
I told his Cousin the story and a couple of weeks later he said "Michell told me to tell you he was going to kick your arse when he sees you."
Haven't seen him.
They took him home with them after the Bar had let out because he was so drunk.
Sometime during the early morning hours he took a shite in the garbage can in the kitchen.And wiped his arse with English Muffins.
I told his Cousin the story and a couple of weeks later he said "Michell told me to tell you he was going to kick your arse when he sees you."
Haven't seen him.
Posted on 1/19/17 at 12:16 pm to 4LSU2
quote:
I don't know where to start on my stories. The list would be too long. Good thing I quit drinking in 99.
WUT?
Hell, I tell stories about you sometimes!
Posted on 1/19/17 at 12:18 pm to PeterPeterP
quote:
Got so drunk one night in college I convinced myself I lost my dick in the drain. Sat on the drain for about 2 hours trying to reach in to retrieve my dick. Buddy found me and told me the next day. fricker left me out there from midnight to around 2am, while he went back into the bar and drink all the while I'm outside sitting on a fricking drain searching. Luckily I looked in my pants that morning and it was still there.
Whomever told you that you were drunk is lying to you.... there is something else going on here!
Posted on 1/19/17 at 12:20 pm to muricanman
This one time I took two beers out of my dads ice chest. I hid in my room and drank almost all of them. I couldn't finish the second one because I was soooo hammered.
Man, crazy times. I'm glad I've calmed down since then because I probably wouldn't be alive if I still partied that hard
Man, crazy times. I'm glad I've calmed down since then because I probably wouldn't be alive if I still partied that hard
Posted on 1/19/17 at 12:36 pm to muricanman
Got shite faced at a wine expo type thing in Italy - was so shift faced my uvula swole so bad it was lying on top of my tounge and I was trying to grab it with my fingers - per my buddy.
Page 2 of 3
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News