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re: Best advice for someone about to get a divorce
Posted on 8/27/15 at 5:58 pm to CorkSoaker
Posted on 8/27/15 at 5:58 pm to CorkSoaker
Try to spend no money. Avoid attorneys. The goal is for the file at courthouse to only contain the filing, the parenting agreement, and the consent decree. Then your done.
Settle property on your own. Work it all out. Work out the kid schedule. Put it in parenting agreement.
That's the recommended logistics.
What's left is the adjustment. It works like this:
Initially it's painful. Only because you only have kids half the time.
Then it gets better, you adjust.
Then it gets incredible and you can't beleive you were married. At least to her.
Kids end up good too.
Also he should take comfort in the fact that after a divorce your income usually doubles or more. Because you got that step again. Or something. No one really knows why. Some think it's because you have to pay child support. But that data doesn't explain the phenomenon. I think when you get divorced you just get your hustle back after the initial speed bumps.
Settle property on your own. Work it all out. Work out the kid schedule. Put it in parenting agreement.
That's the recommended logistics.
What's left is the adjustment. It works like this:
Initially it's painful. Only because you only have kids half the time.
Then it gets better, you adjust.
Then it gets incredible and you can't beleive you were married. At least to her.
Kids end up good too.
Also he should take comfort in the fact that after a divorce your income usually doubles or more. Because you got that step again. Or something. No one really knows why. Some think it's because you have to pay child support. But that data doesn't explain the phenomenon. I think when you get divorced you just get your hustle back after the initial speed bumps.
2
Posted on 8/27/15 at 6:01 pm to CorkSoaker
Pay the money for a good attorney.
File ASAP
Do not let emotion or empathy sway your decisions.
Talk to no one about it.
Do not frick something else until the ink is dry.
File ASAP
Do not let emotion or empathy sway your decisions.
Talk to no one about it.
Do not frick something else until the ink is dry.
This post was edited on 8/27/15 at 6:03 pm
Posted on 8/27/15 at 6:04 pm to CorkSoaker
Lawyer up. Document everything. If you have a lot of cash consider storing it somewhere safe until you can split it equitably so she can't just spend it at will. Consider getting some cameras set up if she's crazy. Remember if you try to make her life miserable you will also make your own life miserable.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 6:18 pm to CorkSoaker
Never date a chick over 25 again
Posted on 8/27/15 at 6:36 pm to CorkSoaker
Tell him to set up weekly appointments with a marriage counselor for him and his wife. At the first session, he needs to confess that he hasn't been a good husband and realizes that a lot of their problems are his fault.
Have him tell his wife that he wants to take some time alone with her to reconnect. Send links to places like Hawaii or Tahiti or Destin - it's gotta be realistic based on their income. Tell her your mom will watch the kids. Don't spend a dime on any of it.
Meanwhile, have an attorney work on drawing up divorce papers. Get as much documentation on financial accounts that she might try to empty after getting served and give the documentation to the lawyer.
When everything is prepared, have her served with divorce papers. Doing it during a session with the marriage counselor is good because you have a witness in case she freaks out. Do not move out of the residence.
Have him tell his wife that he wants to take some time alone with her to reconnect. Send links to places like Hawaii or Tahiti or Destin - it's gotta be realistic based on their income. Tell her your mom will watch the kids. Don't spend a dime on any of it.
Meanwhile, have an attorney work on drawing up divorce papers. Get as much documentation on financial accounts that she might try to empty after getting served and give the documentation to the lawyer.
When everything is prepared, have her served with divorce papers. Doing it during a session with the marriage counselor is good because you have a witness in case she freaks out. Do not move out of the residence.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 6:57 pm to BobABooey
Honestly thought you were setting up a murder plot for a second
Posted on 8/27/15 at 6:58 pm to CorkSoaker
Lawyer. Now.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 7:03 pm to CorkSoaker
quote:
Just the typical she's crazy and he wants out scenario. He already has the best attorney. Just wanted to help him if I could with some words of wisdom from the OT.
I hope that he is going for full custody of the kids.
I am baffled when people divorce a crazy spouse and allow them to retain primary custody; leaving their children at home with only a crazy parent.
I have a dear friend who perpetually marries trashy women. He won primary custody of his kids with the second stripper he married. But he was worried sick when she had them on weekends because he had no idea what kind of drug-addled trash she was hanging out with.
It got to the point where he had to hire PIs to follow them. Thankfully he eventually got her visitation rights revoked and she had only supervised visits.
Moral of the story: don't have sex with a person you wouldn't leave your children alone with.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 7:09 pm to CorkSoaker
Hide the damn money. Hide the damn money. Oh and hide the damn money.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 7:11 pm to CorkSoaker
Get the best lawyer you can and then go speak to all the other good lawyers so they cant ve hired by your spouse.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 7:29 pm to CorkSoaker
If he has not already done so, get a vasectomy.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 7:33 pm to Titus Pullo
Lawyer up. File first. Lawyer will help you figure out child support.
Expect ex to act like she wants to co parent with you but she'll throw your arse to the wolves and also complain about you to the kids.
Don't talk shite any your ex in front of kids. Shield them as best you can.
Settle assets quickly!
Set boundaries w the ex. Do not try to be friends. Do not let her interfere with your house and do not interfere w hers.
Expect ex to act like she wants to co parent with you but she'll throw your arse to the wolves and also complain about you to the kids.
Don't talk shite any your ex in front of kids. Shield them as best you can.
Settle assets quickly!
Set boundaries w the ex. Do not try to be friends. Do not let her interfere with your house and do not interfere w hers.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 7:38 pm to CorkSoaker
Never even consider getting married again. Live with them or something, but whatever you do, don't re-marry.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 8:07 pm to CorkSoaker
Depends on what star you're in and why
Posted on 8/27/15 at 8:08 pm to CorkSoaker
Best advice is no advice. Stay out of the details. Let his lawyer advise.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 10:53 pm to atchafalaya
(no message)
This post was edited on 6/6/20 at 1:48 pm
Posted on 8/27/15 at 10:58 pm to CorkSoaker
He shouldn't have used his real name and e-mail address on Ashley Madison.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 10:59 pm to CorkSoaker
Woman lawyer
Keep all correspondence and receipts for what he does with kids and pays ex.
Don't have "weak" moments
Prepare to be effed in court.
Keep all correspondence and receipts for what he does with kids and pays ex.
Don't have "weak" moments
Prepare to be effed in court.
Posted on 8/27/15 at 11:02 pm to CorkSoaker
Lawyer up
Posted on 8/27/15 at 11:05 pm to Breesus
quote:
Do not frick something else until the ink is dry.
Which is why someone I know just emptied out their house while the soon to be ex-husband was out of town.
Affairs are dangerous things.
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