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Started By
Message
Bat in house
Posted on 3/9/15 at 5:51 pm
Posted on 3/9/15 at 5:51 pm
Everyone seemed to enjoy the story on FB so much I figure id share it here....
Sooooo me and my hot lil wife got home from my sons baseball tournament last night. We are laying in bed watching house of cards. We are snuggling and relaxing ....then BAMMMMM!!! Wtf is that flying around our room in the dark??? A June bug? A mosquito hawk? A sparrow?? No!!! None of the above! (Skip that part a second). So this mf thing is circling us like a buzzard waiting for animal to die. My wife's under sheets screaming, I dive into bathroom like a little bitch, I pass up the guns, I don't grab key to gun safe, I go for the towel cabinet! I grab the best weapon against flying creatures..the towel folded up like a baseball bat!!! I peek through door, wife still hiding under sheets screaming...I gotta be the man, strikeeeeeee 1!!!! Set up for second swing....HOMERUNNN!!! I nailed that sum bitch....
It wasn't over there!!!
I go around trying to find where it got in. I have my super powered flashlight light on, I'm going around armed with the towel bat, just looking for any entry point. I turn corner on stairs and another one is flying straight at my face!!! I tried to run but I just fell on my arse. I'm waiting to be attacked and be eaten alive by the 2 oz bat, but he must have been intimidated by my tightly wrapped towel and me crawling away like a cat on ice... so he turned away. I proceeded with caution into living room where it also circled like a fn horror movie. The cats were meowing and watching this thing circle and watching me take about 20 swings at this dang thing, I was ducking and running (and laughing my arse off) every 3rd swing as it would veer straight at me. Finally I connected, and took that SOB deep off the wall.
Things I learned:
I now know bats like to roll in pairs. I also learned I hate fn bats!!! And do not ever leave window cracked open!
Sooooo me and my hot lil wife got home from my sons baseball tournament last night. We are laying in bed watching house of cards. We are snuggling and relaxing ....then BAMMMMM!!! Wtf is that flying around our room in the dark??? A June bug? A mosquito hawk? A sparrow?? No!!! None of the above! (Skip that part a second). So this mf thing is circling us like a buzzard waiting for animal to die. My wife's under sheets screaming, I dive into bathroom like a little bitch, I pass up the guns, I don't grab key to gun safe, I go for the towel cabinet! I grab the best weapon against flying creatures..the towel folded up like a baseball bat!!! I peek through door, wife still hiding under sheets screaming...I gotta be the man, strikeeeeeee 1!!!! Set up for second swing....HOMERUNNN!!! I nailed that sum bitch....
It wasn't over there!!!
I go around trying to find where it got in. I have my super powered flashlight light on, I'm going around armed with the towel bat, just looking for any entry point. I turn corner on stairs and another one is flying straight at my face!!! I tried to run but I just fell on my arse. I'm waiting to be attacked and be eaten alive by the 2 oz bat, but he must have been intimidated by my tightly wrapped towel and me crawling away like a cat on ice... so he turned away. I proceeded with caution into living room where it also circled like a fn horror movie. The cats were meowing and watching this thing circle and watching me take about 20 swings at this dang thing, I was ducking and running (and laughing my arse off) every 3rd swing as it would veer straight at me. Finally I connected, and took that SOB deep off the wall.
Things I learned:
I now know bats like to roll in pairs. I also learned I hate fn bats!!! And do not ever leave window cracked open!
Posted on 3/9/15 at 5:52 pm to scubafeet
Bats are cool. I like bats.
And pics of wife or GTFO
And pics of wife or GTFO
Posted on 3/9/15 at 5:54 pm to scubafeet
bat killing tPOS
Why don't you just be a cop if you want to kill animals?
Why don't you just be a cop if you want to kill animals?
Posted on 3/9/15 at 5:55 pm to scubafeet
Would've died of heart attack in bed.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 5:56 pm to scubafeet
Why you gotta frick with bats??
What did that bat ever do to you?
What did that bat ever do to you?
Posted on 3/9/15 at 5:57 pm to scubafeet
I call bullshite
quote:
my hot lil wife
Posted on 3/9/15 at 5:59 pm to scubafeet
If you have the beginnings of a bat infestation, I would seriously start to worry and search. JMO
Posted on 3/9/15 at 6:00 pm to scubafeet
Holy shite that was funny.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 6:01 pm to scubafeet
It's illegal to kill bats in louisiana
Posted on 3/9/15 at 6:01 pm to scubafeet
DNR is on the way to your house as we speak.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 6:02 pm to LSUEnvy
quote:
Holy shite that was funny.
frickING HILARIOUS
Posted on 3/9/15 at 6:03 pm to scubafeet
I wish I had
A rabbit in a hat
And a bat
And a 64 Impala.
A rabbit in a hat
And a bat
And a 64 Impala.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 6:03 pm to scubafeet
Oh...look at the big man killing a poor defenseless little bat.
And you posting illegal shite on the inter webs.
And you posting illegal shite on the inter webs.
Posted on 3/9/15 at 6:05 pm to scubafeet
I'm picturing Dwight Shrute stalking the bat
Posted on 3/9/15 at 6:20 pm to SuperSaint
Is this the cat that used to have the wife, well gf at the time, as his avi? The ipad chick?
Posted on 3/9/15 at 6:23 pm to bigberg2000
quote:No. you thinking of the Bama fan ReauxlTide or something like that I believe.
Is this the cat that used to have the wife, well gf at the time, as his avi? The ipad chick?
quote:
bigberg2000
Was there no lunch thay tudey?
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