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re: Any married guys had an affair?

Posted on 9/30/17 at 2:00 pm to
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42452 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 2:00 pm to
Eh, the blanket statement that all cheating is bad is just wrong. Don't get me wrong, most cheating is bad -- but there are definitely circumstances where cheating may make sense (e.g. avoiding divorce rape and you're in a shitty marriage).
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
259875 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 2:01 pm to
quote:

Those people sound bored with life and incapable of finding other things to motivate them.


That tends to happen to everyone sometime in their adult life.

quote:

I think there's a lot of people that get married, get the job, get the kids, and then everything else is just a side to that because really that's all they ever wanted (marriage,kids, family etc.). After awhile it gets boring and since they never thought about life much outside of the classic marriage and never learned to value anything outside of it they wander down bad paths.


Or, people change. In a marriage it's likely both people. You either adjust to it, or not.

You can justify anything if you really want to. Every case I'm aware of, the blame was always on the other person. The line between darkness and illumination is extremely thin and lots of folks spend time wondering from one to the other.

Posted by tiggerthetooth
Big Momma's House
Member since Oct 2010
61104 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 2:05 pm to
quote:

Eh, the blanket statement that all cheating is bad is just wrong.

quote:

(e.g. avoiding divorce rape and you're in a shitty marriage).


Yeah if you have bad judgement with regard to who you marry.

Cheating is bad because it means either you can't keep a commitment, thus hurting others, or you made a bad decision to be in that marriage in the first place by not considering if you were truly compatible with that person.

Cheating is in either case a symptom of your bad judgement. No way around it.


Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42452 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 2:06 pm to
quote:

Yeah if you have bad judgement with regard to who you marry.


If only it was that simple. You can't pidgeonhole everyone into that bullshite line of thinking. Come on, man -- think critically. Relationships change, people change.
Posted by tiggerthetooth
Big Momma's House
Member since Oct 2010
61104 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 2:06 pm to
quote:

That tends to happen to everyone sometime in their adult life.


I don't believe that's true. Maybe the classic western adult life where that period of time essentially becomes about earning more money and saving for retirement while raising kids.

Posted by Popths
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2016
3964 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 2:11 pm to
Who left, the wife or the GF?
First the GF left me for the rich older guy. I couldn't hide my devastation from the wife. Ended up confessing. The 40 lbs left in the following 6 weeks. Trauma Trim.
Posted by tiggerthetooth
Big Momma's House
Member since Oct 2010
61104 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 2:25 pm to
quote:

If only it was that simple. You can't pidgeonhole everyone into that bullshite line of thinking. Come on, man -- think critically. Relationships change, people change.



They change, sure, but who doesn't expect that? Just because they change the marriage should end?

I mean, you have obviously supported this line of thinking and adopted it.


I know of many quality marriages that are happy and have lasted long.

They don't enter into the marriage with cop out attitudes and conduct themselves appropriately during the marriage.

Is marriage glamorous all the time? No. I think a lot of people are shortsighted and only see the glamorous aspects of marriage and then low and behold, "well, I'm just different now! People change". No shite, you didnt know that before marriage? You prepare yourself for the change. Work harder at the relationship develop depth.

Stop living your lives like Tv families.
Posted by X123F45
Member since Apr 2015
27345 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 2:35 pm to
I've said it before, I'll say it again. When I met my wife, I was 21. I was friends with 12 women or so. I had gone out with a few of them. A few of us had slept together.

I was the glue holding their chaos together.

Two days after I met my wife, I pushed them all away.

Not because I'm some Romeo capable of seducing women at will, but because whiskey drinking Rando makes up for an utter lack of morals with an unregulated suaveness.

I love my wife and wouldn't touch another woman.

If she were to leave me, I do have my first four fricks planned out.

Posted by TigeRoots
Member since Oct 2008
8505 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 2:37 pm to
quote:

She was on vacation both times. It wasn't like it was an ongoing affair with feelings involved. I'm not insecure like most tho. Forgive and forget.


Perhaps she should nix the girls vacations from here on out.
Posted by Mie2cents
the round part of earth
Member since Dec 2012
3462 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 3:09 pm to
Nope. I got too much pride and love my wife 100% unconditionally. For those who do cheat, you better hope you don't bring home a disease and get your wife infected. Cheaters are punks. It's never right even if you are separated.
Posted by Drew Orleans
Member since Mar 2010
21577 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 3:13 pm to
(no message)
This post was edited on 11/12/17 at 12:20 pm
Posted by tiggerthetooth
Big Momma's House
Member since Oct 2010
61104 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 3:18 pm to
quote:

She was on vacation both times. It wasn't like it was an ongoing affair with feelings involved. I'm not insecure like most tho. Forgive and forget.



Right, just like a muscle spasm, huh?



Okay captain clueless. You've probably never seen good marriages and think you've somehow got it good.


You've got issues if you tolerate that shite. I bet she needs you to pay shite, or just likes you for the kids.
This post was edited on 9/30/17 at 3:19 pm
Posted by Gaston
Dirty Coast
Member since Aug 2008
38927 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 3:21 pm to
She should have just taken that shite to the grave...or did you catch her somehow? If she fessed up and asked for forgiveness that's weak.

The second time? Wow, you're a forgiving dude.

My wife's hot AF and cool and I know I'd have difficulty matching her with another mate...but damn if I'm big enough to stick around after number 2. My wife would take that shite to the grave though, she's steely.

If one of her friends told me and she verified I'd probably rent a place for six months and see if being apart made me want her more or less. Second time...I'd never frick her again.

I've never cheated, 15 yrs, no idea if she has or not.
This post was edited on 9/30/17 at 3:24 pm
Posted by Rex Feral
Athens
Member since Jan 2014
11249 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 4:13 pm to
That's my story. How did you move on? I'm miserable. Wife cheated on me. Total mistake, but I can't move on. We have a great relationship and four boys . I don't want to mess up what we have, but an opportunity has presented itself and I'm torn. Rational me says no, emotional me says let's even the score. I'm dying here.
This post was edited on 9/30/17 at 4:23 pm
Posted by t00f
Not where you think I am
Member since Jul 2016
89697 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 4:19 pm to
frick no, that shows no will power. frick that.
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65517 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 4:21 pm to
quote:

but because whiskey drinking Rando makes up for an utter lack of morals with an unregulated suaveness.
Rando is Scruffy, Scruffy is Rondo....


Posted by UncleRuckus
Member since Feb 2013
7630 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 4:40 pm to
If she cheated once, she is/will cheat again
Posted by Rex Feral
Athens
Member since Jan 2014
11249 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 5:02 pm to
So what's my move?
Posted by SwaggerCopter
H TINE HOL IT DINE
Member since Dec 2012
27227 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 5:03 pm to
quote:

I've never cheated, 15 yrs, no idea if she has or not.


This is strange. Do you and your wife not share things? If a married couple is doing it right, they won’t be able to hide cheating because they are so open with each other, and it would immediately become obvious when one closed off.
Posted by cubsfinger
On The Road
Member since Mar 2017
1542 posts
Posted on 9/30/17 at 5:12 pm to
PORTHUDSONPLAYA

Dude she's taking anal from guys on vacation. How the you accept the fact it happens TWICE? I hope you don't work 7-12s because one of your buddies is tearing that shite up but he's not doing a good job if she's getting it in on vacation. What kind of girl friends let her habitually leave the group and get railed by some random guy?
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