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Started By
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Favorite funny lines/jokes, any genre
Posted on 6/17/15 at 9:28 pm
Posted on 6/17/15 at 9:28 pm
Even if the movie isn't a comedy, what are some of the single lines or jokes that always make you laugh?
This is Spinal Tap: Shark Sandwich
Robin Hood Men in Tights: Hey Blinkin
Hot Fuzz: Short cut
Jurassic Park: Dinosaurs? Hello?
Get Him to the Greek: Hateful Respect
Orange County: You better not! (I was amazed there was a clip of this one line, because it's one I subconciously quote almost daily
)
This is Spinal Tap: Shark Sandwich
Robin Hood Men in Tights: Hey Blinkin
Hot Fuzz: Short cut
Jurassic Park: Dinosaurs? Hello?
Get Him to the Greek: Hateful Respect
Orange County: You better not! (I was amazed there was a clip of this one line, because it's one I subconciously quote almost daily
)This post was edited on 6/18/15 at 9:40 am
15
Posted on 6/17/15 at 9:46 pm to Nix to Twillie
Posted on 6/17/15 at 10:16 pm to Nix to Twillie
You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball
This post was edited on 6/17/15 at 11:55 pm
Posted on 6/17/15 at 10:17 pm to Nix to Twillie
Leave the gun, take the cannoli.
Posted on 6/17/15 at 10:23 pm to Blakezilla
Pretty much everything Wahlberg said in "The Departed"
This post was edited on 6/17/15 at 10:25 pm
Posted on 6/17/15 at 10:25 pm to Nix to Twillie
From As Good as It Gets...
Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
Posted on 6/18/15 at 9:22 am to DanglingFury
"I'm just a humble motherf-er with a big a** dick"-The Bunk
Posted on 6/18/15 at 9:46 am to STLhog
Posted on 6/18/15 at 10:27 am to Nix to Twillie
The Mayor: Callahan... I don't want any more trouble like you had last year in the Fillmore district. You understand? That's my policy.
Harry Callahan: Yeah, well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard that's my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How'd you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through a dark alley with a butcher knife and a hard on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross.
Harry Callahan: Yeah, well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard that's my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How'd you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through a dark alley with a butcher knife and a hard on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross.
Posted on 6/18/15 at 11:14 am to Nix to Twillie
Frank: Nice beaver!
Jane: [producing a stuffed beaver] Thank you. I just had it stuffed.
Jane: Would you like a nightcap?
Frank: No, thank you, I don't wear them.
Ed: You want to take a dinghy?
Frank: No, I took care of that at the press conference.
I could just post the whole script to Naked Gun and laugh.
Jane: [producing a stuffed beaver] Thank you. I just had it stuffed.
Jane: Would you like a nightcap?
Frank: No, thank you, I don't wear them.
Ed: You want to take a dinghy?
Frank: No, I took care of that at the press conference.
I could just post the whole script to Naked Gun and laugh.
Posted on 7/1/15 at 6:00 am to Nix to Twillie
Dinner for Schmucks
"In the words of John Lennon, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not"
"In the words of John Lennon, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not"
Posted on 7/1/15 at 7:12 am to Nix to Twillie
Posted on 7/1/15 at 7:29 am to Nix to Twillie
Posted on 7/1/15 at 7:58 am to Nix to Twillie
No single movie has more funny lines than Raising Arizona:
Ed McDonnough: You mean you busted out of jail.
Evelle: No, ma'am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
Gale: What Evelle here is trying to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.
Evelle: [about the balloons he just bought] These blow up into funny shapes and all?
Grocer: Well no... unless round is funny.
Evelle: H.I., you're young and you got your health, what you want with a job?
Gale: You understand, H.I.? If this works out, it's just the beginning of a spree to cover the entire southwest proper. And we keep going until we can retire. Or we get caught.
Evelle: Either way, we're fixed for life.
Prison Counsellor: Most men your age Hi, are getting married and raising up a family.
H.I.: Well factually, the...
Prison Counsellor: They wouldn't accept prison as a substitute. Would any of you men care to comment.
Gale: Well, sometimes your career's gotta come before family.
Evelle: Work's what's kept us happy.
Ed McDonnough: You mean you busted out of jail.
Evelle: No, ma'am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
Gale: What Evelle here is trying to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.
Evelle: [about the balloons he just bought] These blow up into funny shapes and all?
Grocer: Well no... unless round is funny.
Evelle: H.I., you're young and you got your health, what you want with a job?
Gale: You understand, H.I.? If this works out, it's just the beginning of a spree to cover the entire southwest proper. And we keep going until we can retire. Or we get caught.
Evelle: Either way, we're fixed for life.
Prison Counsellor: Most men your age Hi, are getting married and raising up a family.
H.I.: Well factually, the...
Prison Counsellor: They wouldn't accept prison as a substitute. Would any of you men care to comment.
Gale: Well, sometimes your career's gotta come before family.
Evelle: Work's what's kept us happy.
Posted on 7/1/15 at 8:44 am to Nix to Twillie
"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious. And stop calling me Shirley."
"I am serious. And stop calling me Shirley."
Posted on 7/1/15 at 8:50 am to DanglingFury
quote:
From As Good as It Gets...
I'll do you one better:
[to Simon Bishop] Well, I work all the time. So never, NEVER interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire. Not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home, and one week later, there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body, and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're gonna faint - even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudge-packer that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States, and he's going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock. Not on this door. Not for ANY reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?
Posted on 7/1/15 at 8:54 am to Nix to Twillie
Rocco's joke in Boondock Saints
Posting it would have me banned
Posting it would have me banned
Posted on 7/1/15 at 9:33 am to Nix to Twillie
Bubba: you ever been on a real shrimp boat Forrest?
Forrest: no but I've been on a real big boat
Forrest: no but I've been on a real big boat
Posted on 7/1/15 at 11:19 am to Nix to Twillie
quote:
Robin Hood Men in Tights: Hey Blinkin
that was my sig pic for about 6 mos. i just changed it.
quote:
Ron: I saw that! Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick: Yea, there were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by because you're probably wanted for murder.
quote:
Real Genius-
"Kent put his name on his license plate."
"My mother does the same thing to my underwear"
"You're mother puts license plates in your underwear? how do you sit?"
quote:
True Romance-
"I don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of...all i got is fricking Floyd."
quote:
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
quote:
Austin Powers Goldmember:
"There are two things that I hate in this world: intolerance of other people's cultures...and the Dutch."
quote:
The Lego movie:
Batman: If anybody has black parts I need them, okay? I only work in black. And sometimes very, very dark grey.
quote:
A million ways to die in the west:
"You're late!!"
"For what???!!!"
"Fair enough"
Posted on 7/1/15 at 12:43 pm to TDTGodfather
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