Chicken - buy a roasted hen, boil some tenders in chicken broth with a little celery or buy a can or two of canned breast meat.
cut chicken to your preferred size - I prefer kind'a chunky chunks chop some sweet pickles - I like more pickles than less, but this is America, so add the amount you like. chop a stalk or two of celery kind'a fine chop. chop a little onion if that's your thing (i don't) put in bowl and add mayo Hellman's
Grind a little fresh black pepper over top before mixing
Add half grapes if you like. Add chopped walnuts or pecans or almonds if you like.
Wife adds craisins (good) and maybe white raisins (OK, too)
We have had it with sunflower seeds and I like that also.
Biggest requirement is Oat Berry Bread on eother side of a big spoonfull smeared to about 1/2 inch thickness and a perfectly chilled cold beer.
Why would you want to go out to buy it, now that you know the truth?
I can start and finish before I can get to the grocery store and back and know how long it has been sitting there before I eat it.