Bless y'all hearts. Unbutton your trousers and get comfortable. I consumed a shite ton of calories this weekend.

On Friday, I spent the last hour and a half at my office trying to make reservations for dinner. I didn't find anything, since it was Jazz Fest and didn't want to dine around 10. I went home to grab a Beam and sift through some shite to make a decision on dinner.

We attempted to grab a spot at the bar at Ye Olde College Inn. The place was packed with middle aged white folk, and it was rather humid. I didn't feel like waiting amongst the crowd, so we ran to Cooter Brown's. I was hoping to catch the LSU game. Unfortunately, they had some hockey shite on and an NBA playoff game. I was able to find the Subway Series on above the bar. I grabbed a Beam and a Fireball from this fancy display.

For dinner, I went with fried macaroni bites, a link of boudin, and a french fry poor boy with gravy. I must say, Cooter's food dropped of from the last time I ate there. The Coon arse special poor boy, which I grew accustomed to loving, was no longer on the menu.

The bites were standard frozen bar food to later be deep fried. The boudin was pretty decent and had a nice spice. The poor boy was my least favorite thing, even with the addition to a ton of mayo. The fries were not the correct cut for a poor boy, and I've had a lot better canned gravy.

For dessert, I went with a dozen oysters and a Fat Tire. The oysters were okay, but definitely not worth $15.

After dinner, we retired to the other bar. I grabbed a PBR and a Bench Mark.

On Saturday, I awoke early to handle my usual errands. I tried to get some breakfast at Ted's Frostop on Claiborne, but the line was very long. The Plum Street guys were all being fed before heading out to Jazz Fest. I didn't feel like waiting, so I returned to my car and threw on the slow jams while I cleaned it.

After working up a little sweat while detailing, I wanted a beer. I ran to the Trolley Stop and took care of business. The breakfast was okay, but I wish it had come with a slice of toast or biscuit to soap up the yolk. The grits were not very good.

After breakfast, I headed home to shower to get ready for the rest of the day. The lady had a wedding shower to attend, and we were going to decided if we wanted to go see Juvie and Mannie at Fest when she got finished. She dropped me off at Lafitte's, so I wouldn't get cabin fever.

I grabbed some Beam, and shot the shite with numerous people. Lafitte's is a revolving door of interesting folk. I even lucked out and scored some Popeye's mashed potatoes from a friend.

Around 2, the skies opened up and it got dark as all hell outside.

The lady met me outside around 3, and I decided not to deal with Fest. Instead, we decided to go to Dat Dog. I wanted to get a bite to eat before our dinner at Irene's.

I got a Chicago style dog and cheese fries. I forget what type of beer help me wash that shite down.

After a quick nap/shower combo, we headed back to the Quarter for dinner. I stopped at our friend's first for a cocktail. I grabbed some bourbon.

After a couple rounds, we walked to Irene's. The weather was remarkable.

I started with an old fashion. It paired well with their bruschetta.

They also brought some other complimentary appetizers from the kitchen.