Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman) | TigerDroppings.com

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LSUGrad9295
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2007
12282 posts

Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


And very timely this week.



"When we book our hotel room in Starkville, we always ask for a room WITHOUT a view..."


"Starkville is Indian for 'trailer park'"


"The loneliest guy in Starkville is the tooth fairy"


"A tornado once went through Starkville and did a million dollars of improvements"




Others?



This post was edited on 10/2 at 10:51 am



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Tommy Patel
Gonzaga Fan
New baton Rouge
Member since Apr 2006
6816 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


I only remember his comment about Miss States sign for stealing 2nd base was him running his fingers up his forearm repeatedly and fast


This post was edited on 10/1 at 3:09 pm


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stealthy1
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2007
261 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


"There's only one beauty parlor there, and they only give estimates..."





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SenorTiger9
New Orleans Saints Fan
St. George, Louisiana
Member since Dec 2012
3984 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)








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therick711
USA Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2008
7584 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


NASA is studying Starkville to try and understand why there is no atmosphere there.





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LSURussian
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Feb 2005
80145 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


"The first time I took the team to Starkville and the players were studying for finals on the bus ride there.

Mississippi state police stopped our bus and arrested our players for attempting to smuggle books into Mississippi.

We were able the get the charges dropped though because no judge in Mississippi had ever actually seen a book before."






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ell_13
USA Fan
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re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)




I hadn't heard that one before.






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LSURussian
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Feb 2005
80145 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


"Starkville is the place where the FBI sends people in the witness protection program."





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LSURussian
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Feb 2005
80145 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


quote:

I hadn't heard that one before.
I've heard him use that story about 5 times at various speeches he's given.

He also has some great lines about Ron Polk for when Polk was head baseball coach at Moo State.

ETA: I'll tell one of them...

"After I got to know Ron and his wife, they invited me over to his house once when the team was playing in Starkville. Ron was so proud of his new house, especially the house's sunken living room.

I didn't have the heart to tell him it was only because one of his trailer's tires was flat...."



This post was edited on 10/1 at 3:30 pm


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ell_13
USA Fan
Alex Box
Member since Apr 2013
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re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)










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LSUGrad9295
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2007
12282 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


quote:

"Starkville is where the toothbrush was invented. Anywhere else and it would have been called a teethbrush."







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Y.A. Tittle
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Member since Sep 2003
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re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


Some years ago, on a precursor to this site, someone posted a 'Starkville Census Form.'. It was one of the funnier things I've ever seen. I wish I could find that again.





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LafDent
LSU Fan
Lafayette, La
Member since Sep 2007
38 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


at a taf meeting, Skip said that Starkville was the only town in America where the population was stagnet, never went up nor never went down. He said" A girl would get pregnant-a guy would leave town".He was the best!





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LSUGrad9295
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2007
12282 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


quote:

"Team plane lands in Starkville, and the pilot says 'Welcome to Starkville, please set your clocks back 20 years!'"






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drdrfaulkner
LSU Fan
Rockledge, FL
Member since Apr 2007
473 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


This is not a Skip Bertman quip, but may be related. Back in 1989, I owned a 1983 King Cab with an LSU tag on the front. I lived in Mobile, and had just accepted a position at Mary Holmes College in West Point, MS., near Starkville. My wife and daughter remained in Mobile while I established things in West Point, but I drove home using Alabama Hiway 17 every other weekend to see them. The locals in West Point said I was welcome but the LSU tag wasn't. I said I would remove it when MSU beat LSU. LSU didn't win many games that year (Mike Archer was coach), but they beat MSU and Ole Miss. On one of those trips from West Point to Mobile, I was near a little town named Dancy (Alabama) when a huge hound dog ran out in front of me and I hit it. The dog yelped and I got out of the truck to help it but could not find it, though I searched for several minutes. It was dark, so I got back into my truck and drove off. Later, I looked at the truck to see how much damage the accident caused, and noticed that the tag was bent completely in half, but not broken. If anyone says God doesn't have a sense of humor, I'd debate it--He seemed to say the LSU had truly gone to the dog(s). It also was a way of saying that, though LSU was somewhat bent, it was not broken, and the Tigers, just as that tag was straightened, would soon be restored to prominence. Interestingly, several years later, after the second overtime loss in 2007, He told me that LSU will play in the National Championship game (though He didn't tell me who would win). This does illustrate the fact that God is active in our everyday lives. Unfortunately, He doesn't give me an inside track on football scores, but I knew UGA would beat LSU this past weekend. However, GEAUX Tigers.





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TheCaterpillar
LSU Fan
Nashville from BR via Oxford
Member since Jan 2004
35521 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


quote:

drdrfaulkner


I don't think you're "all there". Miss your pills this morning?







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LSUGrad9295
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2007
12282 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


Um.....cool story, Bro???





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lsu2006
USA Fan
BR
Member since Feb 2004
13924 posts
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re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


quote:

If anyone says God doesn't have a sense of humor, I'd debate it--He seemed to say the LSU had truly gone to the dog(s).


"God" has a way more complex, heartless and fricked-up sense of humor than that.

quote:

This does illustrate the fact that God is active in our everyday lives.


No, no it doesn't.

quote:

He doesn't give me an inside track on football scores, but I knew UGA would beat LSU this past weekend.


No, no you didn't.






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drdrfaulkner
LSU Fan
Rockledge, FL
Member since Apr 2007
473 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


quote:

I don't think you're "all there". Miss your pills this morning?


Yes, perhaps I did. I didn't take the two Alleve after the softball game I pitched last night, and I am a little sore. I did, however, take my Ginko, vitamins, and BP medicine. BTW, how many pills will you be taking at 64 years of age?

Also, to the USAFan who posted later: Which USA did attend? I got my Ph.D. (1999) and one of my two Masters degrees at The University of South Alabama and worked there for 20 years--any chance we ran into each other?

BTW, you act like you were there and know all about God--tell me, what is His will for your life?



This post was edited on 10/2 at 12:02 pm


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TheCaterpillar
LSU Fan
Nashville from BR via Oxford
Member since Jan 2004
35521 posts

re: Official Starkville Joke Thread (some gems from Skip Bertman)


- Michael Jordan retired from the Bulls
- Clinton acquitted at impeachment trial
- Airport security took less than 5 minutes (pre-9/11)
- Columbine High School massacre






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