Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's. - Page 4 - TigerDroppings.com

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BTHog
Arkansas Fan
Member since Jul 2012
8335 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


Could be easy or tough , depending on how mom is with the kids. My wife stepped right in and my kid accepted it because like most kids he was raised to accept discipline from an adult who was in charge of him. If that's not the case with her kids. Good luck.

Enjoy the experience, kids are the greatest thing ever.

As for how to treat them, they will essentially tell you how to treat them. My wife was a little uncomfortable at first, until my son told her that he basically had no mom and it would be cool if she would be his mom. If the dad is in the picture, don't be that guy, nothing worse than an ex who tries to play dad when the real dad is around and trying to do his best by the kids. If on the other hand hes a POS , by all means step in and do right by the woman your dating's kids.

Congrats on impending engagement.






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Napoleon
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Dec 2007
33947 posts
 Online 

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


thanks. I just want to see where it will go, but this is the first time I dated, and felt like I didn't ever want to date anyone else. She makes me happy and the kids are great.
I was always cynical about love and all. I dated a lot, but never really long term. But even after a month with this one, I had a good feeling.
I was so nervous about meeting the kids, I kept putting it off, but now I smile every time I see them. They are a joy and so good. I was afraid it would ruin the relationship or having kids would make it unbearable. But I know its cliche, but I have never been so happy.

Everything is better now. We are about to take our second vacation together, this time with kids. We both are busy with businesses, and she also has a full time job and teaches dancing too.
I think I can be there for the kids. I was nervous because I knew going in that I would always be number three. But honestly it has been great.

Though it has changed my views on things, and I am trying to change some things. Like she says I have an addiction to my phone. Though its mostly my customers who call me all the time and I need to respond.

I do appreciate all the responses.






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BTHog
Arkansas Fan
Member since Jul 2012
8335 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:

thanks. I just want to see where it will go, but this is the first time I dated, and felt like I didn't ever want to date anyone else. She makes me happy and the kids are great.
I was always cynical about love and all. I dated a lot, but never really long term. But even after a month with this one, I had a good feeling.
I was so nervous about meeting the kids, I kept putting it off, but now I smile every time I see them. They are a joy and so good. I was afraid it would ruin the relationship or having kids would make it unbearable. But I know its cliche, but I have never been so happy.

Everything is better now. We are about to take our second vacation together, this time with kids. We both are busy with businesses, and she also has a full time job and teaches dancing too.
I think I can be there for the kids. I was nervous because I knew going in that I would always be number three. But honestly it has been great.

Though it has changed my views on things, and I am trying to change some things. Like she says I have an addiction to my phone. Though its mostly my customers who call me all the time and I need to respond.

I do appreciate all the responses.


many great perks to having kids

you can buy all kinds of cool toys "for the kids" for one thing LOL






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Napoleon
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Dec 2007
33947 posts
 Online 

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:


Enjoy the experience, kids are the greatest thing ever.

As for how to treat them, they will essentially tell you how to treat them. My wife was a little uncomfortable at first, until my son told her that he basically had no mom and it would be cool if she would be his mom. If the dad is in the picture, don't be that guy, nothing worse than an ex who tries to play dad when the real dad is around and trying to do his best by the kids. If on the other hand hes a POS , by all means step in and do right by the woman your dating's kids.

Congrats on impending engagement.


damn, I'm sorry now that I gave you grief over the last few weeks, I'm sorry. It was out of line, I hated when Lester did it to me too. Some people can do a lot of different things.

The dad is a good dad. Of course I hear all the bad stuff about him, but the kids idolize him. He treats them great. I'd like to meet him. She said we have a lot in common and she is afraid we would hit it off.

Kids are great, I have a godson and I taught my friends kid to read and it was a great accomplishment for me to see her great grades in first grade and K.

Engagement isn't coming right away. I think at least one person figured out who I was talking about. But it's what I want eventually as I want kids of my own, and told her I would prefer to be married when I have kids. I just think its better for the kids and the family.

The oldest said today to my nephew. "when Mr. Zach marries my mom we will be cousins"

I just laughed. I really do already have a lot of love for the kids.




This post was edited on 3/16 at 1:27 am


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shutterspeed
Southern Miss Fan
Da Sipp
Member since May 2007
33774 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:

damn, I'm sorry now that I gave you grief over the last few weeks, I'm sorry.


I won't ask even ask if you feel sorry about following me to the Food Board one day to criticize my threads about what I wanted to eat and my having to go boo boo.

Cos I had already forgiven you in my heart after you did it.






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BTHog
Arkansas Fan
Member since Jul 2012
8335 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:

damn, I'm sorry now that I gave you grief over the last few weeks, I'm sorry. It was out of line, I hated when Lester did it to me too. Some people can do a lot of different things.

The dad is a good dad. Of course I hear all the bad stuff about him, but the kids idolize him. He treats them great. I'd like to meet him. She said we have a lot in common and she is afraid we would hit it off.

Kids are great, I have a godson and I taught my friends kid to read and it was a great accomplishment for me to see her great grades in first grade and K.

Engagement isn't coming right away. I think at least one person figured out who I was talking about. But it's what I want eventually as I want kids of my own, and told her I would prefer to be married when I have kids. I just think its better for the kids and the family.

The oldest said today to my nephew. "when Mr. Zach marries my mom we will be cousins"

I just laughed. I really do already have a lot of love for the kids.





eh, don't even sweat it, it's just the internet.

If the dad is in the picture, IMHO the one thing you don't want to try to do is become the new dad. That will at best confuse the kids and at worst backfire on you.

DOesn't mean you can't , or shouldn't , discipline the kids , but Ive seen steps who try to force the kids to call them mom or dad or whatever, dont be that guy..

And as someone else pointed out, treat them exactly the way you would treat your own. My wife and I have an eight year old and a 2 month old together, and I have the 20 year old, and she treats them all 3 the same and loves them each equally and that's the way to go.

Oh another plus about kids, you can use them as an excuse to go see kid's movies. lol






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Napoleon
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Dec 2007
33947 posts
 Online 

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:


I won't ask even ask if you feel sorry about following me to the Food Board one day to criticize my threads about what I wanted to eat and my having to go boo boo.

Cos I had already forgiven you in my heart after you did it.


I don't remember really ever having an issue with you.

I am trying to think of it.
I kind of trolled BThog the last few weeks.
Before my banning I was much more of an ass. Just because it's a semi anonymous message board. But after IRL'ing so many people I tend to try and be nicer now.
I rarely get angry IRL, so I kind of use this place to vent. I am a snob about chains on the food board, yet I love Copeland's and Taco Bell.

I really do need to not be a dick to people though. It's silly to do, and generally makes me look stupid to do so.








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BTHog
Arkansas Fan
Member since Jul 2012
8335 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:

I don't remember really ever having an issue with you.

I am trying to think of it.
I kind of trolled BThog the last few weeks.
Before my banning I was much more of an ass. Just because it's a semi anonymous message board. But after IRL'ing so many people I tend to try and be nicer now.
I rarely get angry IRL, so I kind of use this place to vent. I am a snob about chains on the food board, yet I love Copeland's and Taco Bell.

I really do need to not be a dick to people though. It's silly to do, and generally makes me look stupid to do so.







It's all good. Truth is I think it's kinda funny what Sao did . I had no idea he was over here pretending to be me all that time and telling stories. All over a message board feud from 2006. LOL he's insane; but funny is funny and its not like any of it really affects me in anyway.







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Napoleon
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Dec 2007
33947 posts
 Online 

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:

you can use them as an excuse to go see kid's movies. lol



yes, that is a good plus. I will take them to MonsterU and took them to Oz today.


I don't plan to exclude them, I also don't plan on them to call me "dad" ever. But I will do anything that I can in my ability do for them. Though that's my nature. I'm the go to guy for my friends and family when something needs to be done. (mostly appliance, auto and car repair)




This post was edited on 3/16 at 1:53 am


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BTHog
Arkansas Fan
Member since Jul 2012
8335 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:

I'm the go to guy for my friends and family when something needs to be done.



me to, which isn't always a good thing. I've nearly always got someone in my ear needing just $20 here or $20 there or just a little help, or just some advice, or just ugh.






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Napoleon
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Dec 2007
33947 posts
 Online 

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


yeah, I have one family of friends that goes too far with it.

I negotiated and helped my friend's gf buy a car. I tell her all it needs is brakes. She waits two months then decides to buy the breaks. My friend doesn't even own a socket set yet they wanted me to drive way out t their house to fix them.

I told them to come to me as I had a garage and all the tools. They come by, but with two kids (gf is infertile so constantly has friend's or cousins kids with her) then they proceede to watch me change all the brakes and complain about the heat, then say it would have been easier on them to do it at their house.

I change the brakes, and don't even get a dollar for them or even a beer. Kinda was ticked. Usually all I want is lunch for changing brakes (takes like 20-30 minutes with good jack and air tools)
Then he calls me today saying his rear end is leaking and the car has a engine light on, so I just ignored him.

Meanwhile his brother helped me with my roof, and is installing my bamboo flooring for $2.20 a foot. So the family isn't all bad.

Just when you do things for people they start to take advantage of it.






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BTHog
Arkansas Fan
Member since Jul 2012
8335 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:

yeah, I have one family of friends that goes too far with it.

I negotiated and helped my friend's gf buy a car. I tell her all it needs is brakes. She waits two months then decides to buy the breaks. My friend doesn't even own a socket set yet they wanted me to drive way out t their house to fix them.

I told them to come to me as I had a garage and all the tools. They come by, but with two kids (gf is infertile so constantly has friend's or cousins kids with her) then they proceede to watch me change all the brakes and complain about the heat, then say it would have been easier on them to do it at their house.

I change the brakes, and don't even get a dollar for them or even a beer. Kinda was ticked. Usually all I want is lunch for changing brakes (takes like 20-30 minutes with good jack and air tools)
Then he calls me today saying his rear end is leaking and the car has a engine light on, so I just ignored him.

Meanwhile his brother helped me with my roof, and is installing my bamboo flooring for $2.20 a foot. So the family isn't all bad.

Just when you do things for people they start to take advantage of


We have a boy who we took in when he and my son were 15 and his mom kicked him out of the house so she could move in with her boyfriend who didn't want to son around and the dad was in prison. He and my son are both 20 now, they are both in the national guard have went to basic already and are enrolled in college. They live here still. The dad is out of prison and instead of thanking me for taking care of his son, he's constantly hitting me up to help him to.


frick that

MY wife and I met a couple in Branson back right before Christmas, younger couple (well younger than me, close to the wife's age) poor but nice. Anyway we befriended them and have been helping them out and they are really nice, and grateful for everything we do for them, and always right there if we need a hand or something. So not everyone takes advantage, but it sure seems that way






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Tigerntx
LSU Fan
NOLA
Member since Jul 2011
1128 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


We each had a boy & girl when we married. My goal was to make sure I was consistent with each. She & I had different ideas of discipline. Created a few problems over the years.

They are grown & on their own now. As rewarding as parenting is, step-parenting is the single most difficult task of my life.






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Earlie Mae
Georgetown Fan
Earline's Alligator Hilton
Member since Mar 2013
393 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


At that age, it's pretty hard to find a single woman who DOESN'T have kids.





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ThaKaptin
Alabama Fan
The Sultan of Swag
Member since Nov 2010
20076 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


When i started dating myk ex-fiance, who coincidentally I am dating again, she had a 3 year old daughter. We got along great. They both moved into my house after a while and it wasnt weird at all. I slowly worked my way into disciplining her when she needed it and luckily Lily didnt step in and undermine me because she knew that she needed to respect my authority as well as hers if I was going to be her stepdad, which at the time was the plan.

If your GF wants it to really work, then she will understand the same thing. Just dont be too harsh on them and try to model your attitude towards discipline around the same ideas as hers since that is what the kids are used to. At this point, your opinions on the subject dont mean a hill of shite. If that is a problem for you, then you dont need the job. Pure and simple.






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ThaKaptin
Alabama Fan
The Sultan of Swag
Member since Nov 2010
20076 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:

At that age, it's pretty hard to find a single woman who DOESN'T have kids.


At that age, if you do find a woman that doesnt either have kids, or has at the very least been in a relationship with that kind of opportunity, then there is something wrong with her. If she is 30 and never been in a serious, long term relationship of some kind, there is a reason for it and you should probably run away as fast as you can.






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