Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's. | TigerDroppings.com

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Napoleon
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Dec 2007
35098 posts

Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


I have been dating this woman, she is 31 I am 32. She is a divorcee with a four year ol and a six year old. We dated for four months before I met the kids. I have never done this before, and the last time there was a thread like this I said I never would.

I am new to all of it. She hasn't moved in or anything, but we are getting serious and I think an engagement is in the near future.

I just am uncomfortable being a "step-dad". I like having 'ready-made' kids, but I don't know if I could be an authority figure. I would rather be like the cool uncle (not the weird one that you don't trust your kids with)



I was just looking for advice or info on how to get comfortable with them. How to treat them. She thinks I spoil them already. I took them to the movies with my nephew today and had a great time. I think I could do it. I do need to make some life changes. I'm taking them to Gatlinburg in two weeks to see what it is like day in and day out with them.
I really think they are going to be my step kids sometime in the next two years. Its just new to me. I know this isn't the best place to go for advice, but I am curious.

How was it when you guys first starting dating a girl with kids?

How did you transition from single, to partial parenthood?

they kids are great though, both very nice. The 6-yo is a little too smart though, I'm going to have to watch her. But so far I like the experience, and can't wait to make one of my own soon.




This post was edited on 3/16 at 1:03 am



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DollaChoppa
LSU Fan
ACC #1 Football Conference
Member since May 2008
74260 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


How long have you been dating? And how long have you been hanging with the kids?


This post was edited on 3/15 at 10:24 pm


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wish i was tebow
Arizona Fan
The Golf Board
Member since Feb 2009
41996 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


Way to long

Didn't read






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tigerbutt
LSU Fan
Deep South
Member since Jun 2006
6933 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


Go for it.





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LEASTBAY
LSU Fan
Member since Aug 2007
3448 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


try to stay out of the discipline thing. your lady probably will take up for the kids. My wifes kids live with us btw and I have learned to let her deal with them when it comes to discipline





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CtotheVrzrbck
Wisconsin Fan
Tulsey Town
Member since Dec 2007
22595 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


You just have to jump in balls deep, and treat them just like you would if they were your own.


I've been in the situation before, kids were the exact same ages actually. Boy 4, Girl 6. They were awesome little people, really touched my life and made me consider growing up. Hell I opened savings accounts for them and put $20 a week in there for them. I didn't even do that for myself, still don't.

Things didn't work out with their mom because she's a bat crazy loon, and they were my first experience with kiddos so I wasn't totally about putting them first, but realize you'll never be most important, it's all about them and the brothers/sisters you'll give them and it'll be gravy.






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Sterling Archer
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2012
1729 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


Just don't share showers with them and you'll be fine





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lsuwontonwrap
LSU Fan
Member since Aug 2012
13042 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


Sounds like you are doing great so far. I have no experience, but I say just keep doing what you're doing.





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headboard banger
LSU Fan
Dark side of the Moon
Member since Jan 2005
2193 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


How good is the pusssaaay?





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Lacour
Michigan State Fan
Member since Nov 2009
29397 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


Run away now dude.





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tduecen
Tulane Fan
The internet
Member since Nov 2006
104146 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


1 kid I can deal with
2+ frick that






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McCringleberryy
Hawaii Fan
Member since Dec 2012
2711 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.








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JimMorrison
South Carolina Fan
The Peninsula
Member since May 2012
15763 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:

I just am uncomfortable being a "step-dad". I like having 'ready-made' kids, but I don't know if I could be an authority figure.


I don't have any experience with this situation so take this fwiw...you may be uncomfortable being a "step-dad" now, but if yall are truly serious, you will grow into being their "real dad" since they are so young.

don't be the "cool uncle" type. be authoritative, the kids will need it and you will grow into it.






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BengalBen
LSU Fan
Member since May 2008
1069 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


Did it when I was a couple of years younger than you. We ended up breaking up, I met my wife and have my own kids. Best decision of my life.

Every situation is different though. The only advice I'll give you is to make sure she is the one and that you agree on having your own kids or not having any. It just seems like some single moms come across as desperate sometimes because of their situation. I hate to say that but you have to be honest with yourself.






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CunningLinguist
Florida State Fan
Dallas, TX
Member since Mar 2006
14138 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


Unless you are in a big city with a large dating pool, once you hit your 30's, dating a woman with a kid is inevitable.





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I Love Bama
Alabama Fan
Alabama
Member since Nov 2007
32152 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


quote:

I think an engagement is in the near future.



dumb fricking ass






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lsu480
LSU Fan
Downtown Scottsdale
Member since Oct 2007
69568 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


I am in that situation and since the dad still is around on the weekends I get to be the "cool uncle" all week and let his mom be the heavy unless he really is a dick but that is VERY rare. I'm a dad to him in all aspects except for discipline, mom does all of that. If no dad was in the picture things would be different though,





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mattz1122
Houston Fan
Member since Oct 2007
29122 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


Related topic: What's the cut-off age when a guy can date a woman with kids and he can't be pinned as a low self-esteem case?





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Escobar600
Member since Jan 2011
4777 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


dated a chick with an 8 year old boy and couldn't stand it to be honest. It was like a competition. The kid would get super jealous, interject constantly, refused to sleep alone, etc. He was also a brat who basically ruled the house, which I don't believe in at all. I couldn't discipline him and didn't agree with how she raised him. I also didn't like the baggage of having the kid's father involved and all that mess.

Didn't work. Then again, I don't like kids. Sounds like your situation is better.






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tduecen
Tulane Fan
The internet
Member since Nov 2006
104146 posts

re: Dating a girls (serious) with kids, in your 30's.


Well since girls are spitting them out at 16/17 now..... Lets say 20





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