I read this entire thread and have a few conclusions that I want to share with you.
Jon... there are 3 types of people in this world: Dicks, Pussies, and a-holes.
I was born and raised into the OT. We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And you are one of the pussies. And to you, Festus is an a-hole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fricked by dicks. But dicks also frick a-holes: a-holes that just want to shite on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with a-holes their way. But the only thing that can frick an a-hole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they frick too much or frick when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shite that they become a-holes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from arse holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't quit being a pussy, we're going to frick the shite out of you.