| Posted by | Message |
Topwater Trout 
LSU Fan
Red Stick
Member since Oct 2010
25788 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 9:54 am to CoCo311)
quote:
I am a flexible multitasker
go on.... 
|
| Back to top | |
yellowfin 
Illinois Fan
Paige is Pretty
Member since May 2006
53094 posts
 Online
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 9:55 am to Breesus)
quote:
According to that chart the vast majority of married people have sex weekly or a few times per week and it dosnt drop off until they are 60 or so.
and I'm fine with once a week and sometimes twice, I don't have time for more than that
eta: most single people aren't getting laid once a week
This post was edited on 12/11 at 9:56 am
|
| Back to top | |
Darth_Vader 
Auburn Fan
Wherever I may roam
Member since Dec 2011
6429 posts
Online
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 9:55 am to NorthGwinnettTiger)
quote:
I'll check back in on this thread when Vader makes an appearance.
go back one page.
|
| Back to top | |
KT70
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2011
1110 posts
Online
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:01 am to snow517)
Marriage is work and nothing is a given. Don't get caught up in every day life and forget about your spouses feelings and needs. Checkout other thread for my situation and don't let it happen to you!!! 
FYI: I am having sex 2-3 times a week now but went years with having it once a month if lucky.
This post was edited on 12/11 at 10:02 am
|
| Back to top | |
epbart
LSU Fan
new york city
Member since Mar 2005
1562 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:04 am to Breesus)
quote:
Marry someone you love, make an effort to be happy, dont argue about stupid shit, quit being a prick, dont marry a cold bitch, dont be a jackass, do something nice every day
My answer is that you have to cultivate some mindfulness of the importance of your marriage. In a way, Bressus' post, which I quoted describes some of the practical actions this would entail.
Most people have a lot of bad mental habits and their attention wanders. There's a lot of little competing voices that bounce between what happened in the past and what's going to happen or what we want to happen, with little attention paid to the present. Anyone who has engaged in any sort of meditation practice will likely know where I'm going with this. When something catches our interest for a while, like a workout routine... or another person who we fall in love with, we are for at least a while drawn into the present. But mental weakness often sets in over time and when the relationship is no longer novel, instead of thinking of our partner and how we can be happy by making them happy, we let our mind wander and we begin to think too much about work, or maybe some new skirt at the company we work (or new guy), etc. This is often the broad pattern of why couples who otherwise do care about each other fall into patterns of neglect.
The solution then is simply to bring your attention back to the relationship. Cultivate mindfulness and appreciation for the person you married. Most people are giving and want to do things to make their significant other happy before marriage and in the early stages of marriage. And I think most people remember that the act of giving alone made them happy. If you learn to do that again (without expectation of something in return!!!) then you will become happier in turn by seeing them happy. When that happens, warmth and attraction... and sex... tend to follow.
I guess if the other person is too far gone themselves to appreciate your efforts, it won't work, but I would suspect if one partner makes the effort and is patient, they can often reach the heart of the person they love and things will improve. Of course, mindfulness is a life long effort. To some, it will seem hard, but I would think the rewards of a loving relationship far outweigh the work involved in keeping a relationship from falling into neglect and discontent. And if my answer seems blah, just understand it's an explanation of the process behind Breesus' post-- at least as I see it. You don't have to get all into meditation and things you find hokey... you just have to be there for the other person and make some effort to make them happy.
|
| Back to top | |
thejudge
LSU Fan
Westlake, LA
Member since Sep 2009
3341 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:05 am to snow517)
Easy. No TV in the bedroom and leave all smartphone and technology in the living room. Found this out after living with the father in law for a few months while i remodeled. No TV in the spare room. I was getting out thrown on me. Like we were newly weds. NE house i left the TV out. Boom goes the dynamite
Technology free zone = getting laid on the regular
|
| Back to top | |
ArRazElle 
Alabama Fan
Member since Sep 2012
3862 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:17 am to lurkr)
quote:
Every woman has something that gets them in the mood, DO THAT.
This is very good advice and so simple, really.
|
| Back to top | |
Darth_Vader
Auburn Fan
Wherever I may roam
Member since Dec 2011
6429 posts
Online
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:18 am to KT70)
quote:
Don't get caught up in every day life and forget about your spouses feelings and needs.
Very true. We need to remember that part of our vows was to put them first and foremost in our life and forsake all others in favor of them. This may sound cheesy to most but my wife is literally my best friend. I'd rather spend time with her than anyone else. And it does not have to be doing something or anything in particular, just the act of being together, no matter what we're doing or where we're at is what I like. As long as I have her at my side, my world is a happy place. For example this past July we celebrated our 15th anniversary by taking the kids to her mom's and then getting a cabin up in the mountains for a long weekend (4 days). We went into town one afternoon for a couple hours and went on a hike for a couple hours. The rest of the time we just stayed at the cabin enjoying just being with each other. We screwed our brains out I don't know how many times, we watched some of hers and mine favorite movies, we grilled steaks out on the back deck and watched deer play near the edge of the woods, and we just sat in the hottub and enjoyed each other's company. When our time was up and we had to leave, we both agreed this was the best anniversary idea we'd ever had and agreed this is now a yearly tradition for us.
Really in my opinion, sex is not something we should have to measure as far as frequency is concerned. If your marriage is healthy the sex just comes naturally and on a frequent basis.
|
| Back to top | |
KT70
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2011
1110 posts
Online
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:28 am to Darth_Vader)
I tell you it took me a long to time to realize(too long) this because I thought I was being a good husband, which I was, in every way but making her feel wanted and needed. I just thought she knew the way I felt about her and I didn't need to show her but that shite doesn't work.
Now that I have refocused on us and things have been 1000x better. Of course she needed to do the same because it can't be a one way street but so far so good.... Good luck...
This post was edited on 12/11 at 10:30 am
|
| Back to top | |
Darth_Vader
Auburn Fan
Wherever I may roam
Member since Dec 2011
6429 posts
Online
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:30 am to KT70)
quote:
I tell you it took me a long to time to realize(too long) this because I thought I was being a good husband, which I was, in every way but making her feel wanted and needed. I just thought she knew the way I felt about her and I didn't need to show her but that shite doesn't work. Now that I have refocused on us and things have been 1000x better. Of course she needed to do the same because it can't be a one way street but so far so good.... Good luck...
Glad to hear you realized this before it was too late. Best of luck to you.
|
| Back to top | |
Topwater Trout
LSU Fan
Red Stick
Member since Oct 2010
25788 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:31 am to KT70)
quote:
I just thought she knew the way I felt about her and I didn't need to show her but that shite doesn't work.
Women need constant attention.
|
| Back to top | |
snow517
LSU Fan
West Monroe, La
Member since Feb 2009
637 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:39 am to Topwater Trout)
Glad to see this thread has become less juvenile and more helpful. Cabin idea sounds great.
|
| Back to top | |
lurkr
LSU Fan
Estrogenville
Member since Jan 2008
8425 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:39 am to ArRazElle)
It's really not complicated, takes time and effort down both sides of the street.
|
| Back to top | |
asurob1 
Arizona State Fan
Arizona
Member since May 2009
5996 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:49 am to lurkr)
honestly this isnt hard.
Pay attention to what she is asking for.
If your bed room is a pig sty then its pretty likely she aint putting out.
Help around the house.
Actually listen to her when she speaks.
Use some common sense and the sex will flow freely.
Seduce her mind...her body always follows.
|
| Back to top | |
Breesus 
New Orleans Saints Fan
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
15526 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:50 am to asurob1)
quote:
honestly this isnt hard.
Pay attention to what she is asking for.
If your bed room is a pig sty then its pretty likely she aint putting out.
Help around the house.
Actually listen to her when she speaks.
Use some common sense and the sex will flow freely.
Seduce her mind...her body always follows.
Or just find some other guy to do all of that stuff, right?
|
| Back to top | |
asurob1
Arizona State Fan
Arizona
Member since May 2009
5996 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:52 am to Breesus)
quote:
Or just find some other guy to do all of that stuff, right?
sure, but that doesnt increase how much you are getting laid now does it ;-).
|
| Back to top | |
badlands 
Florida Fan
Member since Apr 2008
1119 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 10:58 am to Breesus)
quote:
dont marry a cold bitch, dont be a jackass, do something nice every day
yep
|
| Back to top | |
BTHog 
Arkansas Fan
Member since Jul 2012
7794 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 11:01 am to Topwater Trout)
quote:
Women need constant attention.
need, no. want, yes. and guys want constant pussy . Don't know about you but I do what needs be done to get what I want.
|
| Back to top | |
Topwater Trout
LSU Fan
Red Stick
Member since Oct 2010
25788 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 11:04 am to BTHog)
quote:
need, no. want, yes.
True.
quote:
Don't know about you but I do what needs be done to get what I want.
Tell her no to sex one time and she will never say no again.
|
| Back to top | |
asurob1
Arizona State Fan
Arizona
Member since May 2009
5996 posts
| re: How to increase frequency of sex for married couples thread (Posted on 12/11/12 at 11:05 am to Topwater Trout)
quote:
Tell her no to sex one time and she will never say no again.
this
|
| Back to top | |
