Well as I said above I bit my tongue, which by the way hurt like hell because I don't do it often, but the "last half hour on green onions so they are crispy" was just plum fricking retarded. But what the hell, I've developed enough stalkers for the season so...
And Carson I'll give you the tip you need. Forget store bought Italian dressing. It's A waste of good money when you can make it at home, from scratch, with stuff in your pantry, for a lot cheaper.
Google vinaigrette recipe and there are thousands of variations that take about as much time to make as it does to open the store bought. Plus they taste much better and will last in your fridge. Buy the Good Seasons just for the Cruet. Oil, vinegar, little bit of good mustard, seasonings and go to town.
As Rag said, not making fun of you. You like it roll with it. I'm just giving you a suggestion on improving your dish. And someone has shown me a new tenderizing applicator so I've learned in this thread too.