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1
Posted on 6/28/14 at 6:43 am to anc
Unfortunately I would agree with others. If he's done this, he's done or is capable of doing it again. You will have to watch your own and your family's credit real closely for a long time.
Posted on 6/28/14 at 6:46 am to Taxing Authority
Interesting how family patterns repeat themselves.....mom doesn't call him and insist on a repayment plan, or an explanation, or tell his wife. She calls her other son and he equates "doing the right thing" with paying his brothers debts cause that's what dad would have done. There are some serious conflict avoidance issues in this family that have nothing to do with his materialistic wife.
If I ran up a bill I my mamas name, you can be damn sure SHE would be dealing with me.....not asking one of my sibs to be an intermediary or to give her money. Why are the females in this lil drama shielded from direct dealings with the financial problem?
If I ran up a bill I my mamas name, you can be damn sure SHE would be dealing with me.....not asking one of my sibs to be an intermediary or to give her money. Why are the females in this lil drama shielded from direct dealings with the financial problem?
Posted on 6/28/14 at 11:51 am to anc
quote:
He's not going to tell me anything. And I promised I wouldn't tell my sister in law about the card.
....aaaand you've made the most incorrect choice possible
Posted on 6/28/14 at 12:15 pm to anc
From personal experience I can tell you that paying it off for him only rewards his bad behavior and enables his continuing to steal from family.
There has to be consequences or he will only do it, or something even worse, again.
Trust me!
There has to be consequences or he will only do it, or something even worse, again.
Trust me!
Posted on 6/28/14 at 2:42 pm to anc
quote:
He basically told me he couldn't keep up with the Joneses and he didn't want to lose his wife because he couldn't afford to buy his kids crap.
I predict that he's going to lose his wife eventually. She is dissatisfied with him and she's taking out her anger by spending lavishly. It's very common. And it seldom ends well.
Posted on 6/28/14 at 5:52 pm to anc
quote:
I know, but he's 12 years younger than I am and while I wouldn't call him "struggling," he's not in the same league as his in-laws and some of his wife's friends.
I'll just come out and say it - his wife is a materialistic millennial and puts a lot of pressure on him.
I would have your mother sue him in small claim court. That will wake him and his wife up. It will take a month or two so he will have plenty of time to pay up before the actual court date.
Might as well confront this now. Both of you are being stupid.
Posted on 6/28/14 at 8:38 pm to hungryone
Stop trying to be Dr. Phil.
I have two brothers. Two of us are what society would consider productive members of society, then there is the youngest. My dad was sick during his teenage/young adulthood years, and just didn't get the same rearing that my older brother and I did.
My mom is of the generation where dad handled everything. I remember my dad having to call a toll-free number to get his 401k balance. He had hundreds of thousands of dollars in there like really good savers do later in life. He would say something like "Well we lost $10,000 today" which was simply a rough day in the market. My mom would be hysterical.
My mom would not have made him pay her back. I will. He knows it. I have already given him a re-payment schedule and told him that I was mistaken in promising him that I wouldn't tell his wife. I will not tell his wife, he will. If he doesn't, we'll all have an uncomfortable talk fourth of July weekend.
Thanks for the advice.
I have two brothers. Two of us are what society would consider productive members of society, then there is the youngest. My dad was sick during his teenage/young adulthood years, and just didn't get the same rearing that my older brother and I did.
My mom is of the generation where dad handled everything. I remember my dad having to call a toll-free number to get his 401k balance. He had hundreds of thousands of dollars in there like really good savers do later in life. He would say something like "Well we lost $10,000 today" which was simply a rough day in the market. My mom would be hysterical.
My mom would not have made him pay her back. I will. He knows it. I have already given him a re-payment schedule and told him that I was mistaken in promising him that I wouldn't tell his wife. I will not tell his wife, he will. If he doesn't, we'll all have an uncomfortable talk fourth of July weekend.
Thanks for the advice.
Posted on 6/28/14 at 8:47 pm to anc
quote:
My mom would not have made him pay her back. I will. He knows it. I have already given him a re-payment schedule and told him that I was mistaken in promising him that I wouldn't tell his wife. I will not tell his wife, he will. If he doesn't, we'll all have an uncomfortable talk fourth of July weekend.
That sounds like a good way of handling it.
Posted on 6/28/14 at 8:55 pm to Jcorye1
quote:
we'll all have an uncomfortable talk fourth of July weekend
I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that talk. Will there be alcohol and fireworks involved?
Posted on 6/28/14 at 10:03 pm to anc
Distraught? It's 3k. Have a nice talk with brother and check credit report for mom. Notify police if happens again.
Posted on 6/28/14 at 11:31 pm to anc
Hard not to project in this situation given that I have 3 brothers. If any of my brothers did this to my mom when she was still alive, that would very easily end my relationship with that brother. You didn't pick your siblings and do not owe them a damn thing.
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