So am I compliant with USGA standards now?

I don't want to get DQ'd for not following the rules, so let me make sure I'm compliant...

Since we don't want to tarnish the games legacy with new found discoveries, I went back to the games roots

Since that cheater Haskell introduced his ball that goes to unbelievable distances that shouldn't be allowed, I went back to the true golf ball, the Gutta percha


Also, that cheating bastard Harry Vardon started wrapping his hands, making them more stable, and making it easier to hit the ball solid. I can't believe he thought he could gain an advantage like that, this is unfair


So I've gone back to the non wrapped grip, playing the game how it's meant to be played, kind of like this


If you aren't doing it like me, you're cheating IMO