re: Is tipping primarily a learned behavior?

It sucks you really have an internal debate over leaving $2 or $3.

Yes, and I have a few theories why people do not leave tips.

1.) People tend to judge the food when leaving a tip. I have eaten with people and when they feel like they got a poor value in the food so they left a smaller or no tip. Obviously that has little to do the server but that is just how people feel sometimes.

2.) Gratuity, this is no big deal on huge parties but a lot of places now do it on a 6 top. I have seen historically good tipper become poor tippers due to this. I don't know if it is because they feel that they paid gratuity in the pass for sub par service so it all evens out, or because now they just expect it on their bill and literally don't think about tipping.

3.) The cost of food is going up and for some reason the percentage that is normal to tip is going up. For a lot of people it is just a matter of if they can afford to do so. For example, me and my wife went to olive garden with two kids under 6. My bill was $57.00, we all drank tea and basically ate a tv dinner. The server never had to to refill drinks or do anything beyond taking our order and bring the food. I tipped $9.00, but after I left I thought, wow, nine bucks in 30 minutes for 3 minutes of work and bad. And $66.00 is a lot for basically 3 tv dinners

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The reason the servers at high end restaurants deserve a bigger tip than those at Applebee's or some shite is because most of those servers have served for a long time and are very good at it, are consistent, and hey usually get less tables per shift so that they can pay better attention to their tables throughout the shift.

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This. People who have worked their way up to being a waiter at places like this are generally very knowledgable of food and wine. They an answer questions about anything on the menu and almost always have great attitude.

If someone can't tell the difference between the kind of people who wait tables at and Apple Bees and Commanders Palace, you probably just aren't all that bright.

There is alot of truth in what you say Rouge. I had someone recently tell me that tipping isn't a right that is given to waiters / bartenders. Tipping is something that is earned by giving excellent service to your customer.

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So why should I give more to my waiter at commanders palace than I give to my waiter at parrains when I'm asking for the same service but just on different price levels?

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Waitstaff at fine dining restaurants have memorized the flavors, vintage, taste, and description of literally HUNDREDS of wines. They taste every product on the menu as they get added to it. They learn several nightly specials with in-depth details of ingredients/cooking methods.

If waiting tables at a fine dining establishment was easy, everyone would do it. shite, I'd do it. But it generally takes months of learning the menu/wine/etc., practicing with other waitstaff, bussing tables, etc.

Bottom line, IMO, is that as long as you live in America, you should adapt to the tipping practices or move to Europe where they don't tip. Yes, it sucks that you have to tip $10 for a steak and could tip $2 for a burger from the same server. But it's how it is here and until it changes, you're only fricking the server over it. They certainly didn't create the standards.. they simply work there.

The "get another job" shite is such a cop out, IMO. They have that job because it's good money because luckily, more people know how to tip correctly than people who don't. It won't stop them from thinking you're an a-hole and giving mediocre service in the future though. I can't tell you how many times I flat out walk past someone as they ask me for another [FREE!!] drink because they didn't tip me for the first 1-2 I brought them.

Personally, going to a bar/restaurant and being recognized and served before everyone else because they know I tip well is worth every penny. There are 4 bars/restaurants in my rotation off the top of my head that do this for me. It makes the trip there more enjoyable.

We didn't have auto gratuity at my old job and I saw many girls get stiffed from parties of 16!! It's insane.
You may have tipped me bigger without my auto grat, but its not worth it for me to hope for it. I'll be happy with my 18%

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So why should I give more to my waiter at commanders palace than I give to my waiter at parrains when I'm asking for the same service but just on different price levels?

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So what price level do you actually tip on? As far as comparison go, Why stop at parrains? Why not go lower? Does a parrains server deserve more than an Olive Garden server?

Using your dumb logic, lets just choose the lowest priced restaurant one can find and base every other tip off of that.

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In NOLA and other foodie cities there are busboys waiting in the wings to rise to being a waiter.

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This has nothing to do with foodie cities or New Orleans, this is industry wide. This is how it works.

I have aquestion. I worked in the food biz all through college and always tip a good percent depending on service. Lately though my wife has been on me about tipping on takeout. Her point- your not being served, cook cooks it and boxes it after you call and you drive burning your gas and pick up the takeout box from a bartender and walk out. I see her point but was curious at to what other readers thought?