What is the going rate for a simple will?

Why do you need a will for that?

Just do your own. I think all you need is a handwritten will and one or two witnesses if that.

This. When I write a will I'll just have my neighbor notarize it for a 6 pack of beer and I'm good to go.

I got a simple will, POA, and healthcare directive/POA done at Legal Zoom 2-weeks ago for ~ $75 all-in for state of GA. Check it out for LA if of interest.

The concept of laying in the hospital post-surgery brain dead for a procedure while my wife had her hands tied while being drained by the health care system didn't seem like a solid option to me, nor is creating more hassle for your wife and kids if they are going through the emotional pain of losing you at any point up the road or need quick access to your assets to take care of common affairs.

IMO, the healthcare directive can be as, or more, important due to all the abusive/overly restrictive HIPPA shite currently in-place.

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while my wife had her hands tied while being drained by the health care system

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In the absence of an advance healthcare directive are the spouses hands really tied? I've been through this recently in GA and what I was told and read was that the spouse calls the shots when someone is on life support and there is no reasonable chance of recovery, unless someone else is specified in an advance directive.