greiving the loss of someone you love
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greiving the loss of someone you love
Posted by meauxjeaux2 on 2/4 at 6:47 pm
I don't think I'm doing it right.
My Maw Maws liver has shut down and she'll be gone within the next two weeks or so but I find myself unable to cry. She's pretty much my favorite person ever. Old school cajun French from Raceland and she's most awesome person ever.
I know she's going and I don't want her to go but I'm acting like its no big deal.
is wrong with me? I'm biggest a-holes ever.



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Posted by genro on 2/4 at 6:48 pm to meauxjeaux2
Pretty common. It'll hit you eventually, and you'll lose it.

ETA: Basically sounds like minimisation, a form of denial


This post was edited on 2/4 at 6:49 pm

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Posted by DollaChoppa on 2/4 at 6:48 pm to meauxjeaux2
Nah. Prob just emotionally mature.


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Posted by Tmacelroy12 on 2/4 at 6:48 pm to meauxjeaux2
It hits harder when she's gone and you are at her funeral

That at least is my personal experience



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Posted by lwlsu96 on 2/4 at 6:48 pm to meauxjeaux2
It'll hit you at some point unfortunately. Sorry in advance


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Posted by tigersownall on 2/4 at 6:50 pm to meauxjeaux2
Sorry to hear about your mawmaw. How's your daughter doing after the bite?


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Posted by Siderophore on 2/4 at 6:51 pm to meauxjeaux2
If you still don't break down when the cornoner comes (assuming she is released to home hospice), then you are officially a heartless bastard.


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Posted by meauxjeaux2 on 2/4 at 6:51 pm to genro
I just figured I'd take the news of the certainty of her going much harder.
I cry like a little bitch seeing other people cry at a funeral. I know I'll break down at the funeral but right now my emotions have me baffled.



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Posted by Siderophore on 2/4 at 6:52 pm to Tmacelroy12
In my experience, any event with associations of finality are the tear jerkers.

Coroner coming, casket closing, first shovel of dirt, etc



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Posted by Cholo on 2/4 at 6:52 pm to Siderophore
I think when people are old you don't want them to suffer. Both my grandmothers died while I was in basic training. Both times I got called up by a DS and told the news and just went back to my business. Only time it really hit me was a few months later when I'd gone home for a visit.


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Posted by Lpmann3 on 2/4 at 6:54 pm to meauxjeaux2
Hey. I am a bereavement counselor for a hospice company and helping people through the grieving process is what I do. Don't worry about what you think you should be doing/feeling. Everybody is different and you cannot compare one grief experience to another. It may hit you tomorrow, at her funeral, or a couple weeks after.

The important thing is that you are not trying to hide from difficult emotions. The time will come when you grieve. It can be a long and very difficult process. Just be willing to go through it even though it is hard rather than trying to avoid the difficult emotions that come along with grief and you will get through it.

There are some great resources at www.griefshare.org You can find anything from simple resources there to grief groups.

I would encourage you to just enjoy the time you have and worry about grief when it hits you...and there will be no mistaking when that happens.



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Posted by meauxjeaux2 on 2/4 at 6:56 pm to tigersownall
quote:

. How's your daughter doing after the bite?
just got home from a surgeon with her. It could be better.



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Posted by Lpmann3 on 2/4 at 6:56 pm to Siderophore
quote:

If you still don't break down when the cornoner comes (assuming she is released to home hospice), then you are officially a heartless bastard.


Don't listen to Jack asses like this either. Remember...EVERYBODY GRIEVES DIFFERENTLY!!!!!!!



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Posted by genro on 2/4 at 6:57 pm to meauxjeaux2
quote:

I just figured I'd take the news of the certainty of her going much harder.
I cry like a little bitch seeing other people cry at a funeral. I know I'll break down at the funeral but right now my emotions have me baffled.
You're fine, dude. As long as you're not hurting other people or yourself, there's really no wrong way to grieve.



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Posted by dukke v on 2/4 at 6:58 pm to meauxjeaux2
Sorry to hear man. Prayers sent.


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Posted by Siderophore on 2/4 at 7:02 pm to Lpmann3
I was being facetious.

Playing off of the implied concern of not caring.

If he really was coming to the OT for primary support...


This post was edited on 2/4 at 7:04 pm

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Posted by meauxjeaux2 on 2/4 at 7:08 pm to Siderophore
I'm not looking for support,I'm concerned about not reacting to the news I just got like I thought I would and wad just wondering if anyone else had had this happen.


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Posted by Chaz95 on 2/4 at 7:10 pm to meauxjeaux2
"damn Damn DAMN!!!" -Florida Evans


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Posted by Cholo on 2/4 at 7:10 pm to meauxjeaux2
quote:

I'm not looking for support,I'm concerned about not reacting to the news I just got like I thought I would and wad just wondering if anyone else had had this happen.


Yeah you're fine. To quote Old School: That's what old people do, they die. I think we mentally start preparing for their deaths long before they happen.



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Posted by Siderophore on 2/4 at 7:11 pm to meauxjeaux2
I know....I was mostly talking to the bereavement consoler who apparently takes his work home.





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