Lost my childhood best friend a few weeks ago...
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re: Lost my childhood best friend a few weeks ago...
Posted by GetBackToWork on 1/12 at 12:21 am to Zilla
Sadly, as time goes on you will experience more suicides or tragic untimely deaths. It never gets any easier, but you learn to accept grief, show compassion for the survivors, and pray they have found peace. Enjoy the time you have with friends and family.


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Posted by WhoDats10 on 1/12 at 1:20 am to GetBackToWork
hey, dogs are better then a lot of people. Wives will leave you if you become poor or disfigured, but dogs wont


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Posted by DuckManiak on 1/12 at 1:35 am to Zilla
Friend I grew up with died freshman year of high school. Right after Katrina, he was cutting logs in his mom's yard and a tree from an adjacent lot fell and hit him. Never gets easy. Being around people who knew him also really helps. We still tell stories about him when we were kids. I still hear songs that were played at his funeral, and tear up.


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Posted by Brendoni on 1/12 at 2:57 am to Zilla
quote:


When does it start to get easier ?


my grandma and i were very close. i found her laying dead in her bedroom floor, when i was 17. i'm 35 now, and over the years it has gotten easier, but it's still tough. it's hard for me to look at pictures of her, and i hardly ever go to the cemetery because i get too upset. sorry about your loss, it will get easier in time


This post was edited on 1/12 at 3:00 am

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Posted by Popcorn on 1/12 at 3:02 am to Zilla
It doesn't.

All you can do is think of all of the good times to try and make it better.



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Posted by lsu480 on 1/12 at 3:30 am to Zilla
quote:

When does it start to get easier ? Does it ever get to the point it seems real ? I'm sitting here in tears and bourbon....never really experienced much death in my life...sucks


After a few months it will get easier and then every year going forward it will get easier. I know it doesn't feel like it but I promise you it will get MUCH better. After a few years you will rarely think of him, so rarely in fact that you will feel guilty about it. Do not beat yourself up over the fact that he committed suicide. There is nothing you could have done to stop it, no matter what you are thinking and what the circumstances were. Time heals all wounds and it will heal this one. Try to move on with your life. Take care of you and yours and make him proud that he was lucky enough to be your best friend. It's what he would have wanted.


This post was edited on 1/12 at 3:32 am

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Posted by georgia on 1/12 at 4:36 am to Zilla
The best advice that I have been given is this. You need to realize that you never get over it, you just learn to live with it.
We lost my cousin a month ago today, and every day seems to bring a new thought or thing that makes me cry, or smile and wish that he was here to experience it with. Amongst my family and core group of crew friends, it has brought us together.
We spent a lot of time together before, but we all seem to be grieving together better than apart.
We spent the night of his funeral in the graveyard with him, we cried together, and spent our first night without him together in the same way that we had laughed and spent so many nights with him. That felt right for all of us.
I'm glad that it brought us together instead of tearing us all apart forever. Grief can do bad things to people sometimes, make them say things they never meant and can't take back, and as hard as this is, I'm grateful that its not something that we have to endure alone.
I think that makes us stronger than a lot of others out there, and ultimately what will get us through this. I think it's important that we learn that even though we lost him physically, that we carry on his spirit like he's right beside us, and prove to death that not even it can completely separate people who love each other unconditionally.
I know exactly what you mean about it not feeling real, I still feel like I'm waiting every day for him to walk in the door with a smile and say "got y'all!" I can't tell you when it changes or even if it changes, but I hope that you find someone who understands the way you're feeling and can stand beside you and be a friend, because no one should have to cry alone.
Prayers sent.



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Posted by mooseknuckle on 1/12 at 7:16 am to Zilla
Same thing happened to me. It was probably the worst thing I've ever gone through. It's been 8 years and I still think about him from time to time. Like all things it will fade over time and pass. The first few months were an absolute bitch. I kept thinking I saw him in restaurants, bars, airports etc.

Bottom line is that it was his choice not yours. A permanent solution to a temporary problem and a selfish act at that. The sooner you accept that the better.

Sorry for your loss


This post was edited on 1/12 at 7:17 am

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Posted by TDsngumbo on 1/12 at 8:37 am to swamie
quote:

First year won't be easy. Dreams will haunt you for years, but you won't see them as haunting. You'll welcome them because they make you happy. Years will go by and things will change in your life and you'll have things that trigger thoughts of your friend...you'll smile or your heart will sink depending on the thought, then you'll continue with your day. It gets easier, trust me. Let the easing of the pain teach you for losses you'll incur later in life because they will come and you'll have to deal with those as well.


This!
7 years after the death of a close friend of mine and I still think about him every single day. Seriously, every day he comes across my mind at least once.
I still have dreams too. He committed suicide and almost every dream is of us hanging out and him acting as if nothing ever happened. All I want to do is ask him why he did it but I can't. Something prevents me from asking. So now I just enjoy the dream since it always seems so vivid and real.
I was very emotional for a good 3-4 months after his death and I too truly believed I would never get over it. Well I'm still not over it but it has certainly gotten MUCH better and easier to deal with.
Trust me --- you will realize this too. It just takes time.
Very sorry for your loss!



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Posted by Tmacelroy12 on 1/12 at 8:39 am to jmcs68
My hs friend that I played soccer with passed away his first year at Ole Miss. It was such a tragic event and it still hurts to think about it. I loved the guy and miss him a lot. There are certain things that I will never now because of him


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