Zac Efron is considering the role in the Saturday Night Feverremake. Well that’s pretty awful, but is it as bad as a Kurt Wimmer being successfully suckered into writing the Total Recallremake? Hmmm, wow, I guess it is just as bad. But wait, the pain train is still rolling, TOOT! TOOT! Eli Roth is all set to remakeThe Funhouse. Holy sweet Jesus that’s a lot of suck and they are really scrapping the bottom of the barrel now. I think I'm gonna write a letter.
Dear Aa-hole Producer, whoops, sorry where are my manners. Let me start over.
Dear Mr. a-hole Producer,
While sitting here twirling my chest hair a brilliant idea hit me. Since you dickholes are so obsessed with remakes I think you should remake the first time I had sex. It involves me, my ass-grabbing drunk aunt, a Kid Cuisine and a lot of crying. Sure it might not be as enthralling as watching Zac Efron awkwardly playing a heterosexual but at least its watchable. Please let me know when you plan on mailing me a check (regular size please, not one of those huge arse Publisher Clearing House checks).
God Bless, Hunky Unkie
Did reading these remakes make anyone else’s fists clinch in anger? Me too. Lets go get some hookers and coke! You buy now. I'll buy when I get my check!
RSS Feed