Right. This is Borderline Personality Trait Disorder.

There are similarities between Borderline and Bi-Polar. My Borderline ex-wife was misdiagnosed once as Bi-Polar.

In Borderlines, there is a strong sense/ fear of abandonment. This may be perceived or from an actual traumatic life eperience early early in life.

Professionals aren't sure if Borderline is inherited or learned behavior.

But - my ex is about as emotionally developed as a 14 yr old girl, with manic tendencies, extreme highs and lows.

Here's what you get -

+ Extreme pettiness. Lies. Lack of accountability. I mean - zero, Everything is someone else's fault. And the stuff they complain about is .... 1st grade level stuff

+ Hatred. Turning on you. The ability to sever even the most precious relationaship... on a Tuesday over - you're noteeven sure. But they can cut you off and never speak to you again. Sort of. They will come back to terrorize you later. They'll pull the sweetheart best friend routine....

+ No boundaries or respect for anyone's money. They don't care that you set a permanent rule. They'll figure out a way to break it and they don't mind showing up with no money and someone else paying

+ Horrible with money. No matter how many times they have their lights turned off, or get threatened to have a vehicle re-possessed - they can't keep it together. Someone can sit down with them and financially get them straightened out... in less than 6 months, they're in trouble again.

+ They love new relationships. It almost puts them on cloud 9.

+ The Triangle game.

+ They've been telling everyone how much of an a-hole you are. So they jump you and get a fight started right before you see family. Or while you're on your way to family thing. You get out of the car al angry and pissed. You get short with someone there... "see? I told you he was a f'n a-hole".... and you just stepped in it.

+ Manipulation

+ You aren't helping them enough. I heard this 400 million times.

+ And last and this is the hardest one - I really hope you grasp this part cause I had to learn it the hard way -

There is NO conversation you can have. No special wording. THere are no "homerun phrases" that get through. You can't write a letter... none of that.

No matter how you feel like a certain conversation went, you will be revisiting this very same issue. There is no changing their behavior.

You are not getting through. There is sooo much going on inside them that most of us cannot understand.

You may see them "on their best behavior" for a period of time, or you may have a new best friend (which is wild) but don't worry. In 90 days or less, you will see it all over again.

You can literally take a calendar and understand that this monster is comng back.