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Started By
Message
re: What's your most desperate hookup story?
Posted on 5/9/24 at 7:47 am to Corriente Kid
Posted on 5/9/24 at 7:47 am to Corriente Kid
quote:
I once went home with a midget after a Gary P Nunn concert New Year's Eve in college. She told me I woke up around three in the morning and peed on her.
You went home with the armadillo?
2
Posted on 5/9/24 at 7:55 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
THERE ARE RULES
Posted on 5/9/24 at 7:56 am to Corriente Kid
What?? You can’t make this shite up
Posted on 5/9/24 at 7:56 am to HempHead
Cant beat the Canadian prisoner story
But when I was an undergrad at State, I was in a group that regularly consorted with students from other colleges. We were in Stillwater freaking Oklahoma and I wrestled heavyweight with a girl from Kansas in a hotel room with her roommate asleep.
If I close my eyes I can still remember the smell.
But when I was an undergrad at State, I was in a group that regularly consorted with students from other colleges. We were in Stillwater freaking Oklahoma and I wrestled heavyweight with a girl from Kansas in a hotel room with her roommate asleep.
If I close my eyes I can still remember the smell.
Posted on 5/9/24 at 8:04 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
I can see Dave Chappelle telling this story 
Posted on 5/9/24 at 8:06 am to The Torch
quote:
When I was 17-18 or so this older guy I knew dated this chick who we all drooled over, she was blond big boobs and drove a Camaro. In our eyes she was the best looking girl in town but 4-5 years older than us. Fast forward about 20 years (and 3 kids/divorce) I ran into her at a bar, I was shite faced, went home with her, smashed it along with going down on her . I woke up the next morning with a 250 lb disgusting hog, no car to leave in and period blood all over me and the bed. Sorry arse ho let me do all that and she was on her freaking period. When I finally got to my car she started calling 40-50 times a day, home /work/cell . I ended up cussing her out and blocking her number.
You win
Posted on 5/9/24 at 8:09 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
I almost feel bad telling this one, because the girl ended up having some major health problems in middle age and then died from complications of COVID.
When I was in college, I used to hang out on/help run an IRC channel that was mostly folks from/living in Alabama. Met a lot of folks from Auburn and all over the state on it.
Anyways, these two sisters from down south of Selma used to come on the channel and shared the same screen name. One was couple of years younger than me, the other a few years older. Younger one was banging, great curves; older one was about 50 lbs over weight. For whatever reason, the older one took a liking to me, while her sister had a thing for another guy at AU.
They decided to come up to visit. I should have said no, but in my warped mind I am thinking if I can stay in touch and keep them happy maybe I get a chance with the younger sis at some point. They come up, older sis comes to my apartment, we go out and grab a bite to eat and have a few drinks, go to one of the bars in town have a few more drinks, end up back at my place. One thing leads to another...
Ole girl has apparently never given head before, but got her sister to "teach" her on a pickle, and she wants to try it out on me. Who am I to say no. She is doing her thing, not too bad. I'm just buzzed enough I forget to tell her I'm about to be done. Get to that point and she gets a mouthful without warning. Her eyes get about as big as I've ever seen, but she's a trooper, chokes it down. Being in college I'm ready to go again in a few so we do the deed, she stays at my place and they head home the next morning.
We talk for a little while longer but I realize it's never going to happen with the sister so I just kinda ghost them.
When I was in college, I used to hang out on/help run an IRC channel that was mostly folks from/living in Alabama. Met a lot of folks from Auburn and all over the state on it.
Anyways, these two sisters from down south of Selma used to come on the channel and shared the same screen name. One was couple of years younger than me, the other a few years older. Younger one was banging, great curves; older one was about 50 lbs over weight. For whatever reason, the older one took a liking to me, while her sister had a thing for another guy at AU.
They decided to come up to visit. I should have said no, but in my warped mind I am thinking if I can stay in touch and keep them happy maybe I get a chance with the younger sis at some point. They come up, older sis comes to my apartment, we go out and grab a bite to eat and have a few drinks, go to one of the bars in town have a few more drinks, end up back at my place. One thing leads to another...
Ole girl has apparently never given head before, but got her sister to "teach" her on a pickle, and she wants to try it out on me. Who am I to say no. She is doing her thing, not too bad. I'm just buzzed enough I forget to tell her I'm about to be done. Get to that point and she gets a mouthful without warning. Her eyes get about as big as I've ever seen, but she's a trooper, chokes it down. Being in college I'm ready to go again in a few so we do the deed, she stays at my place and they head home the next morning.
We talk for a little while longer but I realize it's never going to happen with the sister so I just kinda ghost them.
Posted on 5/9/24 at 8:12 am to lsu777
quote:
ok feel like we need more info on this one
A couple of my friends went to the concert on New Year's Eve and around 11:00 this midget asked me to dance. I started dancing with her and in the middle of the song I asked her if she wanted to leave. She drove me back to her house. When I walked in her room mate who was a dude gave me the dirtiest look as I walked past him sitting in the recliner. We go to her room and undress but I am so drunk I can't get a hard on so I give up. I wake up a little later and determine I can do it and so we do. At some point around 3:00 apparently i got on my knees in the bed and just peed on her. When I woke up in the morning I acted like I was late for work and told her I had to leave. Then shite got weird. When I got out of bed I realized the bed didn't have a frame and was just sitting on the floor and as I stood up the dresser was only about three feet tall. I thought to myself "I am in fricking Alice and Wonderland. As she is driving me to my friend's apartment I asked her to stop at the store so I could get a Dr. Pepper and some snuff. No lie, right when I walk in the store there is a dwarf behind the counter yelling "Happy New Year"! As we pull up to the apartment I see two hot blondes starting their grill and I'm praying they don't notice me getting out of the midget's car. That's when my friend opens the sliding glass door to the apartment and yells "Hey! Midget Slayer!" I was humiliated. Talk about the walk of shame. I'm 51 and people I don't even know that I meet ask me "You're the dude that fricked that midget?"
Posted on 5/9/24 at 8:14 am to LittleJerrySeinfield
quote:
LittleJerrySeinfield
That's the same episode.
Posted on 5/9/24 at 8:14 am to HempHead
quote:
You went home with the armadillo?
Yes, but she wasn't from Amarillo or Abilene.
Posted on 5/9/24 at 8:14 am to Corriente Kid
quote:
"You're the dude that fricked that midget?"
I can substantiate the rumor that the English sense of humor is dryer than the Texas sand.
You wee fricker.
Posted on 5/9/24 at 8:14 am to lsuson
quote:
What?? You can’t make this shite up
I went into more detail in a follow up post.
Posted on 5/9/24 at 8:17 am to Corriente Kid
quote:
When I got out of bed I realized the bed didn't have a frame and was just sitting on the floor and as I stood up the dresser was only about three feet tall. I thought to myself "I am in fricking Alice and Wonderland.
Posted on 5/9/24 at 8:20 am to HempHead
quote:
I can substantiate the rumor that the English sense of humor is dryer than the Texas sand.
You wee fricker.
:rotflmao: ok as of now, rankings are
1) prison story
2) peeing on a midget
3) Earning the red wings
Posted on 5/9/24 at 9:10 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
Please tell me her name was Aileen Wuornos. Please tell me her name was Aileen Wuornos.
Posted on 5/9/24 at 9:46 am to TigerBaitOohHaHa
You nasty
Posted on 5/9/24 at 11:19 am to CHiPs25
He might have just said that to look better tbh lol
Posted on 5/9/24 at 11:22 am to Corriente Kid
This is easily #2 right here.
Posted on 5/9/24 at 1:03 pm to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
Every once in a great while, there comes a thread whose hilarity keeps you going all day. This thread fits the bill. Thank you, sir, for the laughs (thank you all).
Posted on 5/9/24 at 1:53 pm to Corriente Kid
Did the midget play a saxophone while walking on your back and her friend rubbing your feet?
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