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re: What's your most desperate hookup story?

Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:08 pm to
Posted by MeridianDog
Home on the range
Member since Nov 2010
14250 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:08 pm to
That's funny. I run a detective agency, and a Canadian lady came to me three weeks ago asking if I could locate a guy named "LSU Grad Alabama Fan". She had a spooky attitude and assured me she would search forever to find the guy. I took the job.

She contacted me last week and said she had located the guy, and I could stop looking. Strange thing, I sold her my drop pistol. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, but she seemed nice, for a Canadian.
Posted by blueboxer1119
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2013
8034 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:20 pm to


This post was edited on 5/8/24 at 9:55 pm
Posted by BeachDude022
Premium Elite Platinum TD Member
Member since Dec 2006
34872 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:52 pm to
quote:

LSUNurse?


Her and Liz together. Why do you think they despise one another?
Posted by OWLFAN86
The OT has made me richer
Member since Jun 2004
176125 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:55 pm to
Has one of the LL's mentioned me?
Posted by BeachDude022
Premium Elite Platinum TD Member
Member since Dec 2006
34872 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:05 pm to
quote:

Has one of the LL's mentioned me?


Slag would have but she’s banned I think and Blondie doesn’t post here anymore.
Posted by Btrtigerfan
Disgruntled employee
Member since Dec 2007
21541 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:08 pm to
I thought about your story on page one. This place is slipping.
Posted by Higgysmalls
Ft Lauderdale
Member since Jun 2016
6464 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:09 pm to
Posted by OWLFAN86
The OT has made me richer
Member since Jun 2004
176125 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:10 pm to
im positive IF I ever had, had sex with someone from here they'd be too embarrassed to admit it

cant say as I blame them

Im an idiot
Posted by bhtigerfan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2008
29674 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:41 pm to
quote:

This is like Usain Bolt starting thread asking people what's the fastest they have ever ran.


Posted by bhtigerfan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2008
29674 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:43 pm to
quote:

Life's funny. One minute you're banging sorority girls across SEC country. The next you're trolling for leftovers in a mental health center.

Don't do drugs kids.
Oh my god, some of these replies.
Posted by supadave3
Houston, TX
Member since Dec 2005
30284 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 11:33 pm to
quote:

Life's funny. One minute you're banging sorority girls across SEC country. The next you're trolling for leftovers in a mental health center. Don't do drugs kids.


Been there. Life comes at you fast, huh?
This post was edited on 5/8/24 at 11:35 pm
Posted by Coach72
Lafayette
Member since Dec 2009
1432 posts
Posted on 5/9/24 at 12:21 am to
Two occurrences within a few days I'd like to forget.

Was in college out of state, and went to visit parents in Florida that I hadn't see for a while. They're crashed out, and I'm a night owl. Was dicking around in the home office and hopped online on the old Yahoo chat, where you could filter rooms by state. Struck up a convo, and went to meet a 40 something at her crib. She ended up being a solid 5, so I was a bit relieved that I wasn't completely duped. She was already tipsy when I arrived, so I knocked back a few shots to catch up. Long story short, we went after it a few times in her bedroom. Wasn't great, but didn't suck either. I checked off all the boxes, put some effort into it, and felt like I definitely gave her a few good ones. After my second time, I let her know I've got to bounce, and she starts talking shite. "Is that all? Are you serious? Well hell, I wish I would have known earlier". I throw on my clothes and start walking out while she's still in bed, and as I pass through the kitchen I swipe the $40 that was laying on the counter.

Two days later, back on Yahoo chat. Leave the crib to meet a cute chubby mom whose kids were gone for the weekend. I'm in the parking lot of some beach bar, and see this behemoth heading towards me. I'm literally cussing under my breath. I'd been hoodwinked. Fight or flight - what's it gonna be? Poon is undefeated, but there's no fkn way in hell I was going inside that place with her. I diverted her towards the docks where we could talk in private. Ended up at her place. She wanted it in the pooper. When we finished and I'm in the bathroom, I was so disgusted with myself I wanted to vomit. Made a quick exit.
Posted by auwaterfowler
Alabama
Member since Jan 2020
1975 posts
Posted on 5/9/24 at 12:22 am to
quote:

manslaughter


Are you insane?!!!!!!
Posted by Masterag
'Round Dallas
Member since Sep 2014
18811 posts
Posted on 5/9/24 at 12:25 am to
Had a long distance gf in college who cheated on me and her roommate told me about it. Broke up with her and kept the friend’s contact info. Over the summer I drove from Galveston to Hattiesburg to smash the friend. She was much better in bed than the ex.
Posted by Pelican fan99
Lafayette, Louisiana
Member since Jun 2013
34813 posts
Posted on 5/9/24 at 1:45 am to
Seems hard to believe you wouldn't have to be married to someone to let them do this
Posted by saintkenn
Saintkenn
Member since Nov 2012
823 posts
Posted on 5/9/24 at 2:25 am to
I was dating a really hot chick in my late 20's, we'd hadn't made anything official yet, but the dates were pretty regular and we'd already had sex a few times. One day I was off work I had my cleaning lady scheduled to come clean my house. The regular lady that did it was in her 50's, but her daughter showed up at my house saying her mom was sick so she was going to clean for me. She was in her 30's and really just kind of a trailer park skank. Had on really short cut off clue Jean shorts and a tank top. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't pretty either. I was laying in my bedroom watching TV and she came in there and wanted to get my laundry. She asked if I wanted her to wash the shorts I had on. I said sure and took them off under the covers. Before I could get done, she had pulled the covers back and proceeded to give me head...I figured well damn, this don't feel bad at all so I let her continue. Next thing I know is she's propping up doggystyle and telling me to put it in her butt, so I obliged. We finished up, she finished cleaning and left. About two hours later my phone starts blowing up. It's the girl I had been dating. She's crying and screaming at me calling me an a-hole. The cleaning girl had sent her a message on Facebook and told her everything that had just happened. I felt like an ahole, cause at the end of the day, I was. First time I ever 'cheated' on someone and the last time too. We tried to mend things back together and they were just never the same after that... Could have been something really good that I ruined! Always will have a little bit of regret there.
Posted by Pelican fan99
Lafayette, Louisiana
Member since Jun 2013
34813 posts
Posted on 5/9/24 at 2:59 am to
Dang bro she threw the ole loyalty test at you
Posted by CHiPs25
ATL
Member since Apr 2014
2904 posts
Posted on 5/9/24 at 4:36 am to
I was living in Chicago and met this random girl out at a bar one day. Nothing happened that night but got her number for a drunk dial at a different time. A few weeks pass and I had just got home from an all day bender, it was 2am or so. Hit her up with the “you awake” text. She was. Had her meet me down the road from my apartment as my roommate was sleeping on the couch. We had a side entrance I was going to bring her in when I got back. When I saw her, she was nothing like I remember when I first met her. I must’ve been hammered when I met her the first time. So we start walking back to my apartment and I get her to the front door, tell her to wait right there while I wake up my roommate and have him move to bed. I went inside and woke up my roommate and told him what was going on. I didn’t want to go back out, that’s how nasty she was.

My roommate decided to go outside and meet her. He ended up taking her into the side entrance and banged her multiple times that early morning and then showered with her later that morning. After she left he told me that she was probably one of the freakiest lays he has ever had, she was a top 5 on his list.

TL;DR I missed my chance to bang a freak cause she was ugly.
Posted by Corriente Kid
Central Texas
Member since Aug 2021
262 posts
Posted on 5/9/24 at 6:50 am to
I once went home with a midget after a Gary P Nunn concert New Year's Eve in college. She told me I woke up around three in the morning and peed on her.
Posted by lsu777
Lake Charles
Member since Jan 2004
31426 posts
Posted on 5/9/24 at 7:45 am to
quote:

I once went home with a midget after a Gary P Nunn concert New Year's Eve in college. She told me I woke up around three in the morning and peed on her.




ok feel like we need more info on this one
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