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re: OT baller fears for his life as he’s attacked by domestic cows

Posted on 5/11/24 at 6:00 am to
Posted by Loup
Ferriday
Member since Apr 2019
11424 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 6:00 am to
quote:

The cows I’m not worried about it’s the damn bulls you have to keep an eye on


That's not always true. I've been smoked by a few cows.
Posted by GeauxTigers0107
South Louisiana
Member since Oct 2009
9755 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 6:01 am to
No you didn't
Posted by Naked Bootleg
Member since Jul 2021
1844 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 6:05 am to
The title was made tongue-in-cheek "Forest Cows"

but I have to wonder if the guy's faking to be funny. The bear spray he's either holding a bag of feed or he's on his own land because those cows behave like they recognize him.. holding a cell phone and recording the entire time..

If it's real though
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
261417 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 6:12 am to
quote:

That's not always true. I've been smoked by a few cows.


I had a few chase after some teenage golf ball shenanigans, but I wasn't legitimately afraid.

I was more concerned about my swing and propensity to hook the ball.
Posted by SpotCheckBilly
Member since May 2020
6543 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 6:22 am to
quote:

I opened this up expecting it to be liberal women.


It was.
Posted by Professor Dawghair
Member since Oct 2021
1081 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 6:28 am to
quote:

Soy Boy and his pepper spray.


quote:

Wait till he runs into one thats actually mad.


Agree the guy is a wuss, but cattle can hurt you big time in the wrong situation as you know better than anybody.

Statistically, cows pose a much greater threat to Americans than bears and sharks combined. Cattle reportedly kill roughly 20 people each year in the United States, while fatal bear and shark attacks average about two per year for each species.



Posted by Lonnie Utah
Utah!
Member since Jul 2012
24029 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 6:42 am to
For those that don't know, and in the Soy boys defense, the BLM (Bureau of land management) and US. Forest Service have leases to run livestock on public lands in the west. That's what this looks like to me. As many have said, I'm sure the cows thought they were getting a free meal from this guys. Ignore them and they will leave you alone. That being said...

Once upon a time, a couple of buddies and I were doing a cross country mountain bike trip and ran across a massive flock of sheep on some Forest service land. It was all good though, until the Great Pyrenees showed up. It became a pretty good sprint for the next little bit. Big dog was not playingaround...


This post was edited on 5/11/24 at 6:43 am
Posted by jeffsdad
Member since Mar 2007
21471 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 6:51 am to
Cows actually kill quite a few people every year. Usually because someone gets between them and a fence. Yes, they can squish you, but probably not intentional.
Posted by Koach K
Member since Nov 2016
4104 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 7:08 am to
If this is what a couple of friendly gals make him scream like, I’d sure hate to hear his boyfriend make him climax.
Posted by Dirk Dawgler
Where I Am
Member since Nov 2011
2520 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 7:17 am to
Back around 1994, my college roommate and I were given permission to fish a nice pond on a guys property. It was located in a fenced pasture. We walked through a gate and there was a herd of heifers with a bull about 200 yards off the right and up on a hill. We had a 400 yard hike across the pasture to get to the pond. Got about halfway there and the bull was moving downhill towards us rather quickly. The herd was following well behind. My buddy was wearing a knee brace and couldn’t really sprint. It was a big bull and seemed like it meant business so we took off half running (because of his brace)to the closest fence line and barely made it there before the bull closed the distance. It was thicket on the other side of the fence and we were buried in that stuff. That bull was crazy. It stood at the fence line stomping its hoof and snorting. Very clear show of aggression. When we would walk through the thicket down the outside of the fence, it just followed along snorting, shaking its head, and stomping its hoof. That SOB never let us in that pasture. I laugh now when I recall the panicked look on my buddies face when we were trying to get to that fence line before that bull got to us. That bull was intent on stomping some arse that day.
Posted by Beessnax
Member since Nov 2015
9179 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 7:33 am to
quote:

Statistically, cows pose a much greater threat to Americans than bears and sharks combined. Cattle reportedly kill roughly 20 people each year in the United States, while fatal bear and shark attacks average about two per year for each species.


So.... How many cows vs how many sharks/bears in existence? You need to know those numbers before you say it is a true statistic
Posted by POTUS2024
Member since Nov 2022
11398 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 7:36 am to
Some people are not suited to be out in nature.
Posted by LSUBFA83
Member since May 2012
3362 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 7:36 am to
This is the literal meaning of the punchline "you only have to run faster than your buddy."
Posted by Lithium
Member since Dec 2004
62062 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 7:36 am to
Is that the opening to Planet of the Cows?
Posted by Dirk Dawgler
Where I Am
Member since Nov 2011
2520 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 7:48 am to
I was ten yards ahead and looking back while telling him he needed to keep trying. I was impressed. He innovated a straight leg gallop technique after the initial push to the fence. Made it through with about 10 seconds to spare.
Posted by bovine1
Walnut Ridge,AR via Tallulah,LA
Member since Dec 2004
1284 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 7:49 am to
A mama knocked me for a loop as I was tagging and weighing her newborn. Also worked back of salebarns for 10 years and saw a few aggressive ones who were tired of being jerked around. I never saw a cow you werent messing with get aggressive in a pasture. Cattle vet for 20 years and raised them for 50. Those cows were just curious. Good grief.
Posted by Dixie2023
Member since Mar 2023
1524 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 7:49 am to
Love it! It’s so cool to see a dog doing what it’s meant to do. Unless you are on the other end, of course. A GP is my next dog.
Posted by EvrybodysAllAmerican
Member since Apr 2013
11193 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 7:53 am to
The cows are following him thinking they are about to get fed. This guy is a dumbass.
Posted by Bama and Beer
Baldwin Co, AL
Member since Oct 2010
80949 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 8:00 am to
I've been around cattle a lot. I've had them come up to me expecting to be fed. Licking the truck, trampled on fishing rods, and be a nice as a dog

I didn't do dumb shite like this
Posted by Lonnie Utah
Utah!
Member since Jul 2012
24029 posts
Posted on 5/11/24 at 8:43 am to
quote:

Love it! It’s so cool to see a dog doing what it’s meant to do. Unless you are on the other end, of course. A GP is my next dog.


We weren't pissed at the dog at all. He was just doing his job. I don't know what he thought we were but he wasn't taking any chances. Funny thing was, once we got away from the flock, he left us alone. We all got a good chuckle out of it.

We were doing some "adventure biking" using lesser known, lesser utilized trails. My buddy was trying to string together a 100-150 mile route to do over several days. This was just one 10-15 mile leg.
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