re: OT baller fears for his life as he’s attacked by domestic cows

No you didn't

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That's not always true. I've been smoked by a few cows.

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I had a few chase after some teenage golf ball shenanigans, but I wasn't legitimately afraid.

I was more concerned about my swing and propensity to hook the ball.

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Soy Boy and his pepper spray.

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Wait till he runs into one thats actually mad.

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Agree the guy is a wuss, but cattle can hurt you big time in the wrong situation as you know better than anybody.

Statistically, cows pose a much greater threat to Americans than bears and sharks combined. Cattle reportedly kill roughly 20 people each year in the United States, while fatal bear and shark attacks average about two per year for each species.

Cows actually kill quite a few people every year. Usually because someone gets between them and a fence. Yes, they can squish you, but probably not intentional.

Back around 1994, my college roommate and I were given permission to fish a nice pond on a guys property. It was located in a fenced pasture. We walked through a gate and there was a herd of heifers with a bull about 200 yards off the right and up on a hill. We had a 400 yard hike across the pasture to get to the pond. Got about halfway there and the bull was moving downhill towards us rather quickly. The herd was following well behind. My buddy was wearing a knee brace and couldn’t really sprint. It was a big bull and seemed like it meant business so we took off half running (because of his brace)to the closest fence line and barely made it there before the bull closed the distance. It was thicket on the other side of the fence and we were buried in that stuff. That bull was crazy. It stood at the fence line stomping its hoof and snorting. Very clear show of aggression. When we would walk through the thicket down the outside of the fence, it just followed along snorting, shaking its head, and stomping its hoof. That SOB never let us in that pasture. I laugh now when I recall the panicked look on my buddies face when we were trying to get to that fence line before that bull got to us. That bull was intent on stomping some arse that day.

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Statistically, cows pose a much greater threat to Americans than bears and sharks combined. Cattle reportedly kill roughly 20 people each year in the United States, while fatal bear and shark attacks average about two per year for each species.

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So.... How many cows vs how many sharks/bears in existence? You need to know those numbers before you say it is a true statistic

This is the literal meaning of the punchline "you only have to run faster than your buddy."

I was ten yards ahead and looking back while telling him he needed to keep trying. I was impressed. He innovated a straight leg gallop technique after the initial push to the fence. Made it through with about 10 seconds to spare.

Love it! It’s so cool to see a dog doing what it’s meant to do. Unless you are on the other end, of course. A GP is my next dog.

I've been around cattle a lot. I've had them come up to me expecting to be fed. Licking the truck, trampled on fishing rods, and be a nice as a dog

I didn't do dumb shite like this