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re: nevermind

Posted on 12/27/19 at 7:13 am to
Posted by MojoGuyPan
Intercession City, Florida
Member since Jun 2018
2797 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 7:13 am to
Brock Lesnar vs. Chimp

How can anyone in their right minds say a chimp is going to come out on top.

Let's not pretend that chimps are magical creatures inflicting 3d20 damage with 8 strength and 10 dexterity modifiers.

Chimps are basically like extra strength midgets who like to bite.

Lesnar would just stay away from the chimp's mouthy and over power the thing.

HawginSince had some great "chimp versus" threads that were more realistically commented on. Now with 3 on 5 CFB Linemen, no person can defeat a chimp? Or is this a new meme where we replace Chuck Norris with a chimp?

They are only willing to fight toddlers and the elderly.

Harambe was a freaking grown arse gorilla and a human handed that son of a bitch a gold plated L.

A lot of people with bud light and truck nutz for brains up in this thread. Hawgins' were better.

Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
423363 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 7:19 am to
i think one of the critical factors would be how fast the chimp could disable a hand of a human who attacked it. i mean if a chimp got ahold of a human's hand and did damage (bite, grip, rotation-break, etc), that human would be 100% ineffective. with the blind bezerker rage and biting ability of the chimps, i think they could disable humans more often than not. once a human in this fight loses 1 operative hand, that human is effectively a non-factor. no human is beating a chimp with only one working hand
Posted by ShortyRob
Member since Oct 2008
82116 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 7:19 am to
quote:


Really? Chimps arent that big, so the 5 linemen, easily.


Nope
Posted by Sayre
Felixville
Member since Nov 2011
5513 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 8:17 am to
You can tell just how stupid some people are in topics like this . Every single person with any experience with chimpanzees is telling you unequivocally the chimps would destroy those guys. it wouldn't be close.
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
95901 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 8:32 am to
quote:

You can tell just how stupid some people are in topics like this


Yeh, like people saying chimps are "5-6 times stronger"

or

chimps are "5'7" and 175 pounds"


Those people are idiots

Posted by Hogbit
Benton, AR
Member since Aug 2019
1441 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 9:25 am to
They are the same assholes that would get fricked up at the animal park because they got out of the car.
Posted by Rep520
Member since Mar 2018
10432 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 9:30 am to
quote:

with the blind bezerker rage and biting ability of the chimps, i think they could disable humans more often than not. 


I'm not sure how humans end the fight. Chimps are pretty built to take blows, so punching it out is hard. To grab it, you're probably getting bitten with sharp teeth.

The people talking pure strength, ok, but it's not a lifting contest. The chimps can bite and tear. The humans have to try to beat the chimps with bare hands and feet.

The humans are probably getting major injuries before the chimps are.
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
95901 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 9:46 am to
quote:

I'm not sure how humans end the figh
Same way people have killed dogs and wolves in hand to hand combat

And the same way that guy killed the 100lb mountain lion

You crush it’s wind pipe
Posted by Rep520
Member since Mar 2018
10432 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 9:53 am to
quote:

Same way people have killed dogs and wolves in hand to hand combat

And the same way that guy killed the 100lb mountain lion


People have explicitly used spears, rocks and cutting tools to take down animals since the beginning of time.

You talk about the guy who killed the mountain lion. That was national news because it was surprising he did that.

I think you're correct humans would have to finish with sone sort of choke, and that gets them near the chimp's mouth, where the chimp can bite, mangle and tear hands.
Posted by diat150
Louisiana
Member since Jun 2005
43643 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 10:00 am to
quote:

Same way people have killed dogs and wolves in hand to hand combat

And the same way that guy killed the 100lb mountain lion

You crush it’s wind pipe


yeah good luck getting on that neck






but im sure it would be like putting a 12 year old in a choke
This post was edited on 12/27/19 at 10:08 am
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
423363 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 10:01 am to
quote:

The people talking pure strength, ok, but it's not a lifting contest. The chimps can bite and tear. The humans have to try to beat the chimps with bare hands and feet.

The humans are probably getting major injuries before the chimps are.

yeah exactly. like i said, if a human loses full functionality of his hand, then what the frick is he worth in this fight? he can't grab the chimp (and use his strength), can't likely use the hand in a strike (not that it would do much), and is likely in severe pain

let's just say they're even in strength. with 1 hand, a human can't do anything

i've been on the wrong side of these arguments in the past, arguing humans over animals, so i've learned the lesson

in terms of animal traits, humans dominated with our stamina. that does dick all in one of these fights
Posted by pochejp
Gonzales, Louisiana
Member since Jan 2007
7855 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 10:02 am to
quote:

Maybe 2 gorillas would have a good shot depending on how large.


LOL One adult male Silverback Gorilla would rip those dudes apart one at a time with the quickness and never raise a sweat.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
423363 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 10:02 am to
quote:

You crush it’s wind pipe

if we could run this scenario, i imagine the humans lose a hand far more quickly/often than they can accomplish this

*ETA: "lose a hand" means a functioning hand, not that the chimp would rip it off the bone
This post was edited on 12/27/19 at 10:03 am
Posted by X123F45
Member since Apr 2015
27479 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 10:40 am to
quote:

if a human loses full functionality of his hand, then what the frick is he worth in this fight? he can't grab the chimp (and use his strength), can't likely use the hand in a strike (not that it would do much), and is likely in severe pain



He can kick. He can stomp. He can swing that chimp with one arm and slam him repeatedly into the ground.

Posted by MojoGuyPan
Intercession City, Florida
Member since Jun 2018
2797 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 10:52 am to
quote:

He can kick. He can stomp. He can swing that chimp with one arm and slam him repeatedly into the ground.


True these chimps are small, only about 100#. You can throw them around like you do a kid. A professional wrestler would be slamming the chimp down with the quickness.

Chimps are 1.35 times stronger pound for pound than a man. A 135# man is a gd soyboy. You think a 300# wrestler wouldn't have a field day with the chimp.

Chimps are not Gorillas, they are small. Chimp is half a Reagan.

A lion or tiger will kill you in 30 seconds. These chimps can't even finish the elderly. After attacking and raging on grandpa for an hour the worst they do is maim him but he is still alive. Heck a group of pitbulls is more deadly.

It took two chimps to bring down a college kid. You put them in there with a trained athlete tell him no holds barred and it's curtains for Bonzo.



Now imagine this chimp next to 6'-5" 300# Lesnar. It's a f'n joke. ROTFL The smart money is on Brock.
This post was edited on 12/27/19 at 10:54 am
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
95901 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 11:00 am to
quote:

let's just say they're even in strength
They aren’t. The lineman will be about 3x stronger than the chimp
Posted by diat150
Louisiana
Member since Jun 2005
43643 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 11:05 am to
thats a baby chimp. wtf

quote:

Chimps are 1.35 times stronger pound for pound than a man.


fake news.

a chimps muscle fiber is 1.35 times stronger than a humans. look at that ripped up chimp I posted earlier. his arms and shoulders are like a very large bodybuilder. if a humans arms were the equal size to his, he would be 1.35 times stronger.
This post was edited on 12/27/19 at 11:08 am
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
95901 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 11:11 am to
quote:

fake news.
No, real actual scientific news

quote:

look at that ripped up chimp I posted earlier
yeh, an outlier



This post was edited on 12/27/19 at 11:13 am
Posted by biglego
Ask your mom where I been
Member since Nov 2007
76518 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 11:21 am to
Dude chimps are 5-8 times stronger than people
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
95901 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 11:38 am to
quote:

Dude chimps are 5-8 times stronger than people



quote:

“There’s this idea out there that chimpanzees are superhuman strong,” says Matthew O’Neill at the University of Arizona in Phoenix. Yet his team’s experiments and computer models show that a chimpanzee muscle is only about a third stronger than a human one of the same size.




quote:

This result matches well with the few tests that have been done, which suggest that when it comes to pulling and jumping, chimps are about 1.5 times as strong as humans relative to their body mass. But because they are lighter than the average person, humans can actually outperform them in absolute terms, say O’Neill.

LINK
This post was edited on 12/27/19 at 11:49 am
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