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Started By
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re: Wife’s uncle is disrupting care plan for her father who has dementia
Posted on 5/19/24 at 11:15 pm to StringedInstruments
Posted on 5/19/24 at 11:15 pm to StringedInstruments
Unc needs to get his arse kicked. Take him to Sonic tomorrow. Order him a knuckle sandwich and an oreo blast.
0
Posted on 5/19/24 at 11:20 pm to StringedInstruments
Your wife's uncle is in the right. Folks in the deep stages of dementia can still do many things, like running this country.
Posted on 5/19/24 at 11:22 pm to imjustafatkid
quote:
The solution is simple: tell the moron uncle it is fine if he takes over the father's care, but he needs to sign a contract stating he will personally take care of the father once he completely loses his mind or if his care plan goes south because he's listening to his brother instead of doctors. If he can not agree to this, the alternative is to allow your wife and the mother to take care of him. He can shut up and move on. Tell him to take it or leave it. Y'all have POA. He can't do squat.
Insert Michael Scott “thank you!!!” Meme
Posted on 5/20/24 at 12:21 am to imjustafatkid
quote:Uncle will just agree to that and then eventually bail, leaving the wife to pick up the pieces. Then there will be a bunch of even messier litigation than there is already likely to be.
The solution is simple: tell the moron uncle it is fine if he takes over the father's care, but he needs to sign a contract stating he will personally take care of the father once he completely loses his mind or if his care plan goes south because he's listening to his brother instead of doctors.
If he can not agree to this, the alternative is to allow your wife and the mother to take care of him. He can shut up and move on.
Tell him to take it or leave it. Y'all have POA. He can't do squat.
Posted on 5/20/24 at 12:53 am to StringedInstruments
My wife and her uncle both have power of attorney on the will. I think the MIL does as well. "
One person has POA . The others are listed to take over in the event that the primary POA cannot perform the duties of the POA. There is a financial affairs POA and then there is a medical affairs POA. This is the way it is for my mother . She has dementia and alzheimers and I have POA for
both financial and medical affairs.
The question is who has POA over your FIL's affairs? If your wife has the primary POA then she needs to consult an atty to deal with the uncle.
One person has POA . The others are listed to take over in the event that the primary POA cannot perform the duties of the POA. There is a financial affairs POA and then there is a medical affairs POA. This is the way it is for my mother . She has dementia and alzheimers and I have POA for
both financial and medical affairs.
The question is who has POA over your FIL's affairs? If your wife has the primary POA then she needs to consult an atty to deal with the uncle.
Posted on 5/20/24 at 1:05 am to windmill
You can have a primary and one or more substitutes, or you can have Co-Mandaries. If Co-Mandataries you can set up so they have to agree on any action or so they can each act independently. You'd have to look at the document to see exactly what it says.
Another wildcard is it's always with the consent of the person conveying the POA. He can revoke it at any time, which in this case I expect the uncle will try to influence his brother to do so.
Another wildcard is it's always with the consent of the person conveying the POA. He can revoke it at any time, which in this case I expect the uncle will try to influence his brother to do so.
Posted on 5/20/24 at 1:11 am to StringedInstruments
Had a family member who tried to take advantage of my grandmother with dem tia. Got her to sign something leaving him with everything.
The entire family had to take him to court. They won and needless to say, this guy was banished.
On top of that, the lawyer fricked up something and sent a family member of mine a $30,000 bill because they forgot to close the case
The entire family had to take him to court. They won and needless to say, this guy was banished.
On top of that, the lawyer fricked up something and sent a family member of mine a $30,000 bill because they forgot to close the case
Posted on 5/20/24 at 1:59 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
$10 million
First thing to do is get a $5 million umbrella policy on him since he is still driving.
He runs a red light and hits a truck of illegals, they’ll take a huge chunk of that 10.
@ $2500 bucks a year.
Posted on 5/20/24 at 2:24 am to imjustafatkid
Yep. Let the uncle take full responsibility of him. I took care of my mom and sister with dementia and let me tell you it’s a fricking nightmare…let him deal with it. My mom’s last nursing home was $6,000/mo. Let rich uncle pay that shite a few years. And block his fricking phone number once all legalities are handled.
Posted on 5/20/24 at 2:24 am to Jake88
quote:
How does the uncle have any power in this situation? The patient's wife is the first go to. Children are the next.
OP says the FIL granted him POA along with some others. He also clearly has a great deal of influence. The risk IMV is if he convinces OPs FIL to revoke his current POA and replace it with one giving the Uncle exclusive authority. Whether he's crafty enough to do that or just garden variety crazy is for OP to determine.
Re conservatorship. It's extremely difficult to get one in Louisiana without the persons consent. Like nearly impossible. IDK about other states.
This post was edited on 5/20/24 at 2:31 am
Posted on 5/20/24 at 2:49 am to StringedInstruments
Seems like the uncle may have similar mental/health conditions where he’s forgetting his place. Him being rich I’m sure only worsens things where he’s probably used to getting what he wants. I love my brother but he could frick off if he told my kids this. The only people who should be involved is his wife if he has one and his kids, collectively, if your wife has more siblings.
Posted on 5/20/24 at 2:51 am to StringedInstruments
Is there a POA?
Posted on 5/20/24 at 4:53 am to StringedInstruments
Need an interdiction
Posted on 5/20/24 at 5:08 am to LSUGUMBO
quote:This.
That ship has already sailed. Since Dad has been diagnosed with dementia, nothing he signs will hold water in court, and this uncle sounds like someone that would fight it. The only option you have now is to go to the courts and have him declared incompetent and a guardian appointed for his affairs.
I'm surprised the facility would not have already coached the father-daughter in that direction, and have paperwork in place.
Posted on 5/20/24 at 5:18 am to StringedInstruments
Siblings can be a handful. I had power of attorney (medical and financial) over my grandmother’s affairs and began to unwind the ticking tax time bomb of the annuities that were sold to her in her early 90’s (age, not calendar year).
This was performed after we met with her CPA and received the green light from my sisters. Every penny unwound went into her bank account.
The annuity salesman told my grandmother’s sister that I was robbing her blind and she in turn relayed that to my grandmother. It upset her tremendously.
The annuity salesman was losing recurring commission and decided to froth up my Aunt (who he was advisor for originally) and my grandmother. It’s always about the money.
This was performed after we met with her CPA and received the green light from my sisters. Every penny unwound went into her bank account.
The annuity salesman told my grandmother’s sister that I was robbing her blind and she in turn relayed that to my grandmother. It upset her tremendously.
The annuity salesman was losing recurring commission and decided to froth up my Aunt (who he was advisor for originally) and my grandmother. It’s always about the money.
Posted on 5/20/24 at 5:32 am to StringedInstruments
It’s hard sometimes, but there does come a time you have to take the bull by the horns.
I’ve had to tell family “change how you deal with mine or have a nice life and if you see us it’ll be because I decide to drop by”
Most of them decided on the latter, haven’t seen them in years. My sister brought my mother to one of my daughters wedding, 2nd time I’d seen her in almost 20 years, the other was my dad’s funeral which I paid for because he’d broken the rest of the family same as he’d tried to break me, and not letting him do it was a betrayal almost all of them blame me for.
I’ve had to tell family “change how you deal with mine or have a nice life and if you see us it’ll be because I decide to drop by”
Most of them decided on the latter, haven’t seen them in years. My sister brought my mother to one of my daughters wedding, 2nd time I’d seen her in almost 20 years, the other was my dad’s funeral which I paid for because he’d broken the rest of the family same as he’d tried to break me, and not letting him do it was a betrayal almost all of them blame me for.
Posted on 5/20/24 at 5:43 am to StringedInstruments
I had something similar happen with my uncle in regards to my mom. I cornered him one day and told him I would put him 6ft under if he didn’t stop acting like an a-hole towards my mother. Problem solved.
Posted on 5/20/24 at 5:59 am to StringedInstruments
Let your uncle spend a week with him unassisted. Your wife and MIL get a break and he can see for himself what the situation is.
Posted on 5/20/24 at 5:59 am to lsufan1971
I’m confused. If he has advanced dementia how does he remember details of the conversation with the uncle?
Posted on 5/20/24 at 7:05 am to StringedInstruments
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/20/24 at 7:08 am
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