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Posted on 5/19/24 at 9:40 pm to Pelican fan99
My first thought - this is about money. And trust me plenty of “rich” people need cash and need to pay debts. Wouldn’t overlook that here. Sounds like an Uncle Jun. maneuver
Posted on 5/19/24 at 9:41 pm to StringedInstruments
Block the bad uncle's number on her dad's phone? And in the meantime give uncle the facts from his doctors and explain how he could be putting him in harm's way.
This post was edited on 5/19/24 at 9:50 pm
Posted on 5/19/24 at 9:43 pm to StringedInstruments
Sounds like the uncle has dementia too. We just got through dealing with this in our own family. Thankfully there was no conflict. It would have made a nightmarish situation unbearable.
Posted on 5/19/24 at 9:46 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
“I don’t know what angle you have here but you need to stay the hell out of his business
Sounds like Uncle needs to take his own advice.
Posted on 5/19/24 at 9:49 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
My wife and her uncle both have power of attorney on the will. I think the MIL does as well.
If your wife has a power of attorney over your FIL, especially if it’s a general, durable POA (which means it covers basically everything like healthcare decisions, finances, property, etc.) then she can tell her Uncle to kick rocks. Uncle can’t overrule her if she’s using a legitimate and valid POA.
Also, just as a note, a POA and a will are two separate things. The POA is only effective while the person is alive. Once they die their will takes over. Being an executor on the will does not mean the same thing as being a POA. You might want to verify with your wife that there is a POA.
This post was edited on 5/19/24 at 9:52 pm
Posted on 5/19/24 at 9:50 pm to RoyalWe
quote:
frick your wife’s uncle
No No No, that's not how it done. frick your wife's uncle wife.
Posted on 5/19/24 at 9:53 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
So what steps can she or my MIL take? I told my wife she needs to get a conservatorship of him to add protection, but she doesn’t want that responsibility. I think her uncle is going to show up tomorrow, put him in a car, and go to a lawyer himself.
The solution is simple: tell the moron uncle it is fine if he takes over the father's care, but he needs to sign a contract stating he will personally take care of the father once he completely loses his mind or if his care plan goes south because he's listening to his brother instead of doctors.
If he can not agree to this, the alternative is to allow your wife and the mother to take care of him. He can shut up and move on.
Tell him to take it or leave it. Y'all have POA. He can't do squat.
This post was edited on 5/19/24 at 9:55 pm
Posted on 5/19/24 at 9:55 pm to StringedInstruments
That is not advanced dementia. I’m sorry that you and your wife are going through it. But it will get worse.
Her uncle won’t be around when the going gets tough…and it will. Support people drop like flies when they truly understand dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Again, I’m sorry this is happening. Her uncle will fade away. Your wife could just let it play out for a couple years and keep being there for her dad.
Her uncle won’t be around when the going gets tough…and it will. Support people drop like flies when they truly understand dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Again, I’m sorry this is happening. Her uncle will fade away. Your wife could just let it play out for a couple years and keep being there for her dad.
Posted on 5/19/24 at 9:59 pm to StringedInstruments
The fun part will be telling uncle he has dementia too.
Posted on 5/19/24 at 10:11 pm to Pelican fan99
quote:
He's probably trying to get him to remove her from the inheritance so he can keep it all
That too. So i want to know how much money are we talking about? How much is your FIL worth? Sounds like his brother wants a piece of the pie.
Posted on 5/19/24 at 10:13 pm to jamiegla1
quote:
That is not advanced dementia. I’m sorry that you and your wife are going through it. But it will get worse.
The problem here is dementia can be slowed/delayed with medicine if her dad will actually take it.
His brother is doing him extreme harm.
Posted on 5/19/24 at 10:23 pm to StringedInstruments
I went through something similar with my Dad and his brother who were business partners. My uncle was a thorn in my craw every step of the way. It’s hard enough navigating a parent through dementia, but having an elderly, and potentially equally demented sibling inserting himself in the situation only makes
a shitty situation shittier.
Long story short; he sees what’s coming down the pike for him and he’s flexing on your Dad’s situation bc he can still flex.
a shitty situation shittier.
Long story short; he sees what’s coming down the pike for him and he’s flexing on your Dad’s situation bc he can still flex.
Posted on 5/19/24 at 10:27 pm to imjustafatkid
Anyone with half a brain nowadays knows about dementia and Alzheimer's.
The uncle cannot possibly be that clueless or else he is as hateful as he sounds, and he and his brother have inherited property and he want's it all.
Hospital and nursing home social workers might be able to help.
Years ago, a Jewish friend's mother had Alzheimers and her Father decided if he could just get her baptized, she would be cured. He kept taking her from the home where she was being cared for, and their son chased them all over D.C. to take her back to the nursing home. Sounds as if your Uncle could be about to do something similar. (Does your Father still have car insurance?)
The uncle cannot possibly be that clueless or else he is as hateful as he sounds, and he and his brother have inherited property and he want's it all.
Hospital and nursing home social workers might be able to help.
Years ago, a Jewish friend's mother had Alzheimers and her Father decided if he could just get her baptized, she would be cured. He kept taking her from the home where she was being cared for, and their son chased them all over D.C. to take her back to the nursing home. Sounds as if your Uncle could be about to do something similar. (Does your Father still have car insurance?)
Posted on 5/19/24 at 10:27 pm to Double Oh
quote:
So i want to know how much money are we talking about? How much is your FIL worth? Sounds like his brother wants a piece of the pie.
$10 million.
You’re probably right. I hate approaching it from that angle though. Everyone just wants the guy to get proper healthcare and keep him from being a danger to himself and to others. And his brother’s gonna swoop in to steal money?
I guess that makes sense. Show up and get the will changed. Convince the guy to go driving. Accident is inevitable. Collect the money.
People suck.
This post was edited on 5/19/24 at 10:29 pm
Posted on 5/19/24 at 10:34 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
I guess that makes sense. Show up and get the will changed. Convince the guy to go driving. Accident is inevitable. Collect the money.
Would need to be able to convince a court that the dad is capable of making these sorts of decisions. I don't see how he could possibly do that.
You're lucky his wife is still alive and is (seemingly) in your corner because this would be much more difficult if she were not.
This post was edited on 5/19/24 at 10:46 pm
Posted on 5/19/24 at 10:49 pm to StringedInstruments
Does no one have Power of Attorney over him ?
Posted on 5/19/24 at 10:55 pm to StringedInstruments
I’m dealing with a similar situation. My mother has dementia and has been living in my home since last summer.
My wife and my mom’s sister are both in denial. They don’t believe she is as incapable as I do.
Sister volunteers to take mom to the doctor and drops her off and leaves! Mom can’t tell the doctor when her symptoms started or really what her symptoms are (non dementia illness).
Wife and I took mom shopping yesterday. I stayed in the car to listen to a baseball game (my mistake). Wife texts me to say she is waiting in the dressing room for my mother to return from the restroom. I look up and see mom walking back into the store, she got lost between the dressing room and the bathroom.
Sister made mom drive her home from sister’s doctor’s appointment last month. Not just around the corner. An hour and some change from home! I spoke to the sister about it, she says she had no alternative as her eyes were dilated and she couldn’t see to drive.
I believe some people just don’t want to accept that the dementia patient is not the same person as before. It’s really a sad situation.
My wife and my mom’s sister are both in denial. They don’t believe she is as incapable as I do.
Sister volunteers to take mom to the doctor and drops her off and leaves! Mom can’t tell the doctor when her symptoms started or really what her symptoms are (non dementia illness).
Wife and I took mom shopping yesterday. I stayed in the car to listen to a baseball game (my mistake). Wife texts me to say she is waiting in the dressing room for my mother to return from the restroom. I look up and see mom walking back into the store, she got lost between the dressing room and the bathroom.
Sister made mom drive her home from sister’s doctor’s appointment last month. Not just around the corner. An hour and some change from home! I spoke to the sister about it, she says she had no alternative as her eyes were dilated and she couldn’t see to drive.
I believe some people just don’t want to accept that the dementia patient is not the same person as before. It’s really a sad situation.
Posted on 5/19/24 at 11:08 pm to StringedInstruments
First of all you tell him that he’s talking to your wife all wrong. That’s the wrong tone; and if he does one more time you’ll stab him in the face with a soldering iron.
Posted on 5/19/24 at 11:11 pm to StringedInstruments
How does the uncle have any power in this situation? The patient's wife is the first go to. Children are the next.
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