re: Why do people always blame the victim when things happen?

it's reactive abuse (which is itself a bit of a misnomer, should probably be called reactive defense) - when someone suffers some sort of abuse or trauma (i fricking hate the overuse of that word, but whatever) and reacts in a negative manner, and then the perpetrator of the original infliction uses the reaction to claim victim status. it's psychological abuse. i was trapped in this cycle for years with someone, and if i hadnt finally figured out what was going on and taken steps to break the cycle, i might have gone insane.