re: Wife is mad because I won't go to in laws twice in three weeks

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yes you are the a-hole

and why would you not want to spend the weekend with your wife and kids? Who cares about the driving, you get to spend it with them, should be enjoyable.

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BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH....enjoying a weekend with the wife and kids. PLEASE. It seems like a thing. Most men make every attempt to make it a thing. The problem is the wife and kids ain't having none of it. She is going to either bitch the entire weekend or talk about that crazy bitch at work...or both....and the kids are going to whine about the shite they ain't got. I have been married over 30 years and raised 2 kids. I tried to show them a big time, we travelled all over the world, did all kinds of shite that looks great in the brochures. Every time it was the same....bitch bitch bitch whine whine whine. I still do it like an idiot because I am a glutton for punishment....but I harbor no doubts as to the outcome. I have been surprised a few times so that keeps me eternally hopeful but when shite goes south...and it does often and quick...I am not shocked.

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Not necessarily, but the scenario you laid out didn't really seem excessive.

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To me it does.

We visit her family once every 4-5 weeks so we see them plenty. We just went at Easter.

Suddenly, she wants me to go 2 out of 3 weeks. Would've been 3 of 4 if I would've went to the graduation party.

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Is she expected to travel to all of your family shite?

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No, this is some of the problem. She has a very tight knit family, I don't.

She says things like, "I would do it for you" but I wouldn't do this type of thing even for my own family.

Plus, I don't mind doing my family stuff alone, she wants me at all of hers.

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To me it does.

We visit her family once every 4-5 weeks so we see them plenty. We just went at Easter.

Suddenly, she wants me to go 2 out of 3 weeks. Would've been 3 of 4 if I would've went to the graduation party.

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Look I'm not saying you don't have a valid argument. But I am saying that there is no way you get her to acknowledge that argument and happily go on the trips by herself. In her mind, she already gave you the grad trip off so its your turn to get the short end of the stick.

While you are saying "Going 2 out of 3 weeks is excessive." She is saying "I didn't make him go to the graduation trip so he owes me."

How often do yall see your family? If they are local and yall see them weekly then it would add to her stance that you should go.

So basically your choices are to go on the trip and make everyone happy or refuse to go on the trip and deal with an unhappy wife. There is no scenario where you get to skip the trip and she's cool with it.

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That's when you need to have the tracking devices ready to hide on the car.

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Put one on her cervix. Jody will have it looking like she's jumping on a trampoline

Sounds like you messed up by not going to the graduation party.

I generally don't fight going to any family event because I like being able to go to by own family events, too. You only have so much time left with parents or grandparents and time with them is better spent than time just doing nothing at home.

My situation is different, though, as overnight visits generally aren't on the table with longest commutes being 4-5 hours roundtrip.

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Probably spoken by someone who hasn’t had to caravan kids for what should be six hours but ends up closer to 10 by the end of it.

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No doubt. First off say there is one adult wife and 2 kids. None of the motherfrickers can control their bodily functions....if they think they may need to shite or piss sometime during the next 4 or 5 days it is an IMMEDIATE emergency that must be corrected immediately. They certainly will not have their bodily functions in synch....and nary a one of the bastards will think to go to the bathroom while the whole damned lot is stopped, At some point in time they are going to get hungry cause god forbid they should go more than 4 hours without slinging something down their throat. One would think, if they were not exposed to this shite, that them all living together there'd be some consensus on where and what to eat. There is not....each one of them will have an agenda and an excuse as to why the other agendas will not fit the bill. Finally, after exhaustive negotiations, recriminations, mentions of all manner of stomach ailments and health conditions, they will settle on Chick Fil A which, by the way, you mentioned about 8 hours ago and none of the ungrateful fricks thought it was a good idea. Of course most likely you will all wind up at McDonalds instead because the line at Chick Fil A is about as long as the trip itself or, and this one is always a good one, it is Sunday and they are closed which means it is the only thing on the planet that would please any one of them!

Despite the lot of the frickers having eaten about 80% of their lives caloric intake in similar situations, when you get to the menu sign they will collectively suddenly develop 2 things...a complete lack of memory and the tastes of a European gourmet. They will have you believe they have never seen a McDonalds menu before AND that they won't eat just anything despite the fact that you have seen both kids eat boogers and the wife has had shite in her mouth that you wouldn't dare put in yours. Finally, after more discussions about stomach issues and what gives one gas and constipates another, they will order EXACTLY the same thing they always order. Luckily, after being fed and at least one drink being spilled, they will get drowsy and fall asleep and leave you to your own thoughts....until their uncontrollable body functions kick in and the whole circus starts again. Yeah, its a fricking BALL.....

Sir…this is a Wendy’s

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No, this is some of the problem. She has a very tight knit family, I don't.

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Well here is the issue. Yall don't view family in the same way. She views them as an integral part of her life that she will prioritize at all times. You view your family as nice people that you will see when its convenient. Not saying you are wrong for that stance but it is the root of the problem. I personally come from a background closer to your wife's. Luckily my wife comes from the same type of background so we don't fight over these issues. Family is important to us and we will prioritize it.

Again, I don't think its unreasonable to not want to go. But to play devil's advocate here, your wife has a close family where everyone will go to the functions with their spouse and kids and if she shows up alone then it makes her feel left out or on the outside. I'm sure she would also be self conscious about what the others think about your relationship when all their spouses happily made both trips but you bailed on her despite not having other plans. I am not saying that she SHOULD care what they think but part of being in a tight family is valuing their approval.

You started this thread to hear other guys tell you that She's crazy and you're normal. The answer that you're getting is that she may be a little crazy but there is zero chance you win. Its either go and she's happy or don't and she's not.

If it were me I'd go because there will be a time when you actually want to do something when she has a trip home planned and you will have already used up your get out of a trip card.