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re: What's your most desperate hookup story?

Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:03 pm to
Posted by schatman
Montana
Member since Nov 2018
2625 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:03 pm to
quote:

I used to drive to Troy from Auburn


Sorry- wrote it backwards. I went from Troy to Montgomery.
You and I probably passed each other at night on 231 if this was the 90s.
Posted by deltaland
Member since Mar 2011
90833 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:11 pm to
quote:

That did not stop things from progressing. Found out it was that time o' the month and ended up getting the worst level of hookup available. And woke up to find out she wet the bed and I had to buy a new mattress. A regrettable experience.


I had once who I picked up at the bar and I was on a dry spell and wanted sex badly, found out she was on the rag. I said I don’t care but her crazy arse demanded that if I wanted it so bad I had to pull the tampon out with my teeth. I think she figured I wouldn’t do it. But I did. Alcohol and determination overruled it all

Of course her name was Tiffany too

Saw her months later at same bar and I was dancing with a chick and she broke a bottle on the bar and threatened to cut me
Posted by VolSquatch
First Coast
Member since Sep 2023
2111 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:14 pm to
In college I had a buddy (actually a buddy, it wasn't me lol) meet this chick via twitter from another SEC school. She looked OLD (for college), like soccer mom with teenagers old, and I told him that from the beginning. She says shes like 25 and goes to school at X SEC school.

Fast forward a few months of them dating (which consisted of him getting them hotel rooms, taking her to eat, then smashing for a weekend and leaving) he gets a message from someone else on Twitter saying this chick isn't who she was claiming to be. She was like 45-ish with a family, and would just lie to her husband about going on business trips to go to frat parties at the school or to meet up with my buddy to smash. My buddy tracked her real name and everything down on Facebook and told the husband. I guess the desperate part of that would be that it was like 5 hours away and she had obvious red flags.


Posted by Hogwarts
Arkansas, USA
Member since Sep 2015
18063 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:28 pm to
quote:

. I said I don’t care but her crazy arse demanded that if I wanted it so bad I had to pull the tampon out with my teeth.


Posted by boosiebadazz
Member since Feb 2008
80360 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:30 pm to
Drive to New Orleans at midnight to meet this girl I matched with on Tinder. We’re passing up first base about to get to second base and she stops me and starts freaking out saying she was sexually assaulted not long ago and this is bringing her to a bad place and she just can’t go on with it. I think we got some drinks and food in the Quarter the next day and I drove back to Lafayette. It kinda fizzled out from there considering the distance and circumstances.

Long drive, no sex, I lost
Posted by Splackavellie
Bayou
Member since Oct 2017
9854 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:33 pm to
quote:

hookup story
quote:

no sex
Posted by boosiebadazz
Member since Feb 2008
80360 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:39 pm to
I drove 6 hours round trip for a sixth grade hookup.

Was not ideal
Posted by LSU Grad Alabama Fan
369 Cardboard Box Lane
Member since Nov 2019
10301 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:42 pm to
quote:

do they mandate contraception during these visits?


They are provided by Canadian tax payers and were already in the room when we checked in.


quote:

Did YOU use protection?


Heck yeah!


quote:

What if the prisoner gets knocked up during a conjugal visit?


I believe they just get pregnant and have the baby while in prison. I heard the baby can stay in prison up to 5 years.
This post was edited on 5/8/24 at 5:45 pm
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65856 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:44 pm to
quote:

I feel like you just wanted to tell your story about fricking a Canadian prisoner
Kinda redundant: they all display at some point the realization that it’s a prison of sorts.

OP: If that story is true, 350 O-T points to you today.

Conjugal visit poontang has got to rate high on the motivational scale.
Posted by Codythetiger
Arkansas
Member since Nov 2006
27613 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:45 pm to
quote:

She called me a frick boy and said she was going to find me whenever she got out.




I chuckled in the office

that shite turned serious toward the end
Posted by idlewatcher
County Jail
Member since Jan 2012
79324 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:47 pm to
quote:

never felt more pathetic in my life. But it also toughened me up to never allow something like that to happen again.


Sucks man but you had no idea she was running around with those dudes. I’d say most guys in that age would fall for it. It’s puppy love.
Posted by NPComb
Member since Jan 2019
27457 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:49 pm to
quote:

They’re all in Toronto. The projects are full of Haitians and Jamaicans .

.

This. It's enough to make their quota for the rest of the country
Posted by NPComb
Member since Jan 2019
27457 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 3:50 pm to
quote:

i once banged a hot blonde coworker in 2018, then she got fired 3 weeks later and said it was because of the anxiety and stress of working with me. I was let go a few weeks afterward. We continued to hook up a few more times after. I wanted poon so bad I kept banging the chick that got me fired. All I got, still nothing on the OP



LSUNurse?
Posted by BuckyCheese
Member since Jan 2015
49747 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:01 pm to
Years ago when I traveled a lot for work I'd try and line up some poon ahead of time so I could enjoy myself in whatever town I happened to be in for a couple days. Found an enthusiastic, average but decent looking, broad that was looking forward to meeting up when I hit town in a few days.

Fast forward to us meeting at the restaurant next to the hotel; She shows up with an infant in a car seat. No, she had not mentioned she'd had a kid no more than a few months earlier.

Since I was in bumfuk Egypt I said what the hell and plowed her for a couple hours while the baby slept in it's carry/seat/whatever thing next to the bed. After we were done she thanked me and left.

Never heard a peep from her again.

Definitely the weirdest for me.
Posted by justaniceguy
Member since Sep 2020
5476 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:39 pm to
Even if this story is fake, it’s too funny. Well done.
Posted by Porpus
Covington, LA
Member since Aug 2022
1667 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:39 pm to
I picked up a chick at the old Grand Casino in Gulfport and took her back to my house, which was a short cab ride away. I was about 50% convinced she really just wanted to rob me but we ended up just fricking, sleeping, and then fricking in the morning. Made it to work on time the next morning and there were no missing valuables.

She had me drop her at some random friend's house. I think she was kind of a homeless "couch surfer." She did tell me something like, "you know I could have robbed you" and if I hadn't done her right in bed I think she would have. (No I did not go down on her.)

She also said something like, "wow, good sex from a white boy" after we did it.

Oh, and it was all "raw dog" and I had to leave my car at the casino so my friends could get home.
Posted by justaniceguy
Member since Sep 2020
5476 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:40 pm to
What if she couldn’t find the dude but he just blew his cover by posting this?
Posted by justaniceguy
Member since Sep 2020
5476 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:50 pm to
Ha I’ve totally done this when in a random college town
Posted by justaniceguy
Member since Sep 2020
5476 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:59 pm to
My story sucks compared to op but oh well.

I think I’ve posted this before on here.

I’m at a bar and grill type establishment walking from the restroom to my friends table. I hear somebody call for me and look over and it’s some girls at a table. I see 2 hot blondes. Like 8/10 9/10.. I go over there and nope, it’s their friend who is into me, over weight Mexican girl. At this point I was already humiliated so I just said sure and walked off.
I guess I texted her or she texted me and I ended up going to her place around 3am desperately. I pull up and it’s in the ghetto. She takes me to her back house which is literally a big shed converted into an apartment. It had a tv, lights, even an a/c unit.
I still did it but I slipped out at the crack of dawn and deleted her number.
I still don’t get how she knew the other girls.
Posted by GreenRockTiger
vortex to the whirlpool of despair
Member since Jun 2020
42190 posts
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:02 pm to
quote:

I still don’t get how she knew the other girls.
because a lot of girls like to have friends that are not as attractive as they are - or how they perceive how attractive they are
This post was edited on 5/8/24 at 5:04 pm
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