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Started By
Message
re: 12 Year Old Girl with BPD
Posted on 4/29/24 at 8:23 pm to Boondock Saint
Posted on 4/29/24 at 8:23 pm to Boondock Saint
quote:
I can tell you what won't work. Prayer.
bullshite. Prayer has worked for in ways that couldn’t be explained otherwise. But I’ve found you can’t just pray when you need something. You yourself have to try to go the extra mile and God will help the pieces come together. You have to pray even when things are good and you have nothing to ask from God. Be consistent, try to better yourself each day and give 100% effort to try to solve whatever problem it is or goal you want to achieve.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 8:25 pm to Leotiger725
quote:you don’t know that. Age has nothing to do with it. Your daughters wires are crossed, psychedelics can uncross them. If it were me I’d be trying everything and not discounting a safe remedy that could change her life
and mushrooms and MDMA are not the answer
BTW it’s obvious from your comments here that you are frustrated and angry. I get it and I can’t imagine the stress you are under. But…it’s not her fault. She didn’t ask for this
Your job is to find answers and fast. Talk to your doctor about therapeutic mushrooms and see what he says. Do some research
Posted on 4/29/24 at 8:31 pm to Leotiger725
I’d look into micro dosing mushrooms or other psychoactive drugs. It’s helped people with other mental disorders such as PTSD and depression. Go read about it. I am not a doctor. Just open to alternatives rather than pills by mainstream drug companies.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 8:58 pm to Aubie Spr96
quote:
If you don't have a good therapist, go get one. I'd also recommend a camp of some kind. Teen Challenge is a good one: LINK. There was a survival camp of some kind that we also looked into but never pulled the trigger on it. One of those were they are reconditioning the kid. Literally give them a cup, a spoon, and a blanket and leave them in the woods.
I know someone whose child did a survival camp in Georgia. The child doesn’t have BPD so I won’t try to compare it to someone who does, but the child has made significant progress since doing it.
OP I am still reading but since I stopped to comment I wanted to say that I really feel for you and I pray you find something to help your daughter and your family.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 9:00 pm to Leotiger725
Hate to hear this. I know from personal experience is tough to deal with. Winning the battle starts with realizing God is the only one who can work this out. Pray every moment of every day that you can. Go to War in prayer. Find a licensed Christian therapist. If she starts meds then she has to understand meds alone aren't the answer. If she is going to take them then she has to be consistent or it does more harm than good. Her therapist needs to help her get into other good habits like 8 hrs of sleep a night, waking up at same time, eating 3 healthy meals, getting outside every day in the sun, walking or some other form of exercise. It all has to work together. But you win in prayer. As bad as you want to help it's important for you to know you have to let go of control so God can take it.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 9:06 pm to Leotiger725
That’s not Bi polar disorder. That’s way more serious. Get her to an inpatient facility asap! If she won’t go willingly go to the courts and have her committed for as long as it takes. Sorry to hear that you’re dealing with that. That’s tough.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 9:16 pm to Leotiger725
My brother dated a girl like this in high school and she got sent away for a little while.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 9:18 pm to Bert Macklin FBI
quote:
I don't know the details, hell I don't even know if 23 and me is the exact test she took but for some reason it rings a bell. What I do know is that based on that test they were able to determine what she was deficient in (chemically I guess) and matched her up with the meds that fixed that issue. Prior to the test, it was just trial and error where they would try a med for a few months and then if it didn't work, they would wean off it and then try a new med.
I think he’s looking for Genesight
My friend did this and as I understand you get either red, yellow or green markers next to medications, with green being the best match for you. It was very helpful for her.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 9:26 pm to Leotiger725
BPD can be heart breaking
Prayers for healing and support.
Prayers for healing and support.
This post was edited on 4/29/24 at 9:35 pm
Posted on 4/29/24 at 9:31 pm to makersmark1
quote:
if they are hellbent on doing the opposite.
Heck of an adjective.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 9:34 pm to WyattDonnelly
quote:
That’s not Bi polar disorder.
again, the OP is not talking about bipolar disorder...he's talking about BPD, borderline personality disorder...
Posted on 4/29/24 at 9:35 pm to Leotiger725
I’ll be praying for you and your family. Peace be with you.
Good luck.
This post was edited on 4/29/24 at 9:36 pm
Posted on 4/29/24 at 9:40 pm to Leotiger725
Id educate her as much as possible about the disease. The more she understands her emotions the better she can cope.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 9:41 pm to Leotiger725
Has she had a lot of exposure to social media and does she have access to her own smart phone?
Posted on 4/29/24 at 9:42 pm to Leotiger725
quote:I wish you all the strength in the world to keep her safe. And if you find a solution, post it here again and again.
Leotiger725
Posted on 4/29/24 at 10:03 pm to Boondock Saint
quote:
Tough situation, but I can tell you what won't work. Prayer.
If prayer helps the parent, it also helps the child. Worst thing he can do is give up on her.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 11:09 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
I got her committed today to a long term facility in South Texas
Who pays for this? Your insurance covers it?
Posted on 4/29/24 at 11:09 pm to Leotiger725
Did you spank her growing up? Maybe she missed out on quality, lesson-filled spankings.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 11:23 pm to LSUGrad2024
quote:
Did you spank her growing up? Maybe she missed out on quality, lesson-filled spankings.
Yes. I’m sure the vast majority of inmates and serial killers just weren’t spanked enough.
Such a stupid fricking comment in this thread.
Posted on 4/30/24 at 1:14 am to Leotiger725
Leo, your family will be in my prayers.
Lot of good stuff ITT, just want to share some personal observation. Not suggesting I know more than the next guy, just sharing in case it’s helpful to anyone.
(Not directed at OP, but some of the other comments) I’d advise to be careful on being so sure the suicide threats are always manipulation. Yes, that certainly happens a lot, but BPD has very high rates of attempts and success. I saw years of loud threats, some barely drawing blood “just let me bleed out”s, etc. But she hid and was sneaky when she actually did attempt. Pills. Threats were for me, the real attempts were for her. I have real guilt about not seeing things, possibly because I “knew” she’d never do it for real, and just being lucky she wasn’t good at it.
Something most of us will never understand is how absolutely devastating it is for them to perceive being abandoned. Makes even less sense when they actively and aggressively push “their people” away. Do everything you can to reinforce that she’s loved and you have her back when she’s not asking for it/acting out. Hopefully fill the void. Hug her. A lot. Just because. And despite her protests :D You can’t control whether she accepts it, you can only control whether you put it out there.
My wife calls it going dark. I don’t know if this is normal for everyone, but she would do everything she could to hide it. Shame, mostly. Which leads to feeling more isolated and make everything worse. It took a very long time for her to be willing to me know when things start going South. But we got finally got here. And it beats the hell out of getting blamed for not seeing things that are purposely being hidden from you ;)
I’m not that guy who’s going to say living right, diet & exercise solves everything. But I have a lot of experience that physical activity and eating right at least correlates with if not causes being “better”. Find a way to incorporate these, bonus points for making it quality family time.
Get therapy for the family with someone who knows bpd. She’s going to lash out. She’s going to figuratively blow things up, or literally set boxes on fire. She’s going to push your buttons. You need tools. Also, read the books that have been recommended.
Some have suggested that this is evil. I don’t follow that line of thought. But I do feel there is similarity in how to fight it. Weeds only grow where they are allowed space. Darkness can only exist in the absence of light. If your bucket is full to the brim with good, there’s no room to slip in something bad. Don’t allow space for the weeds.
The rule of (at least) 51. If you don’t take care of yourself you won’t be able to take care of others. Same concept of putting your air mask on first. You can’t rescue anyone if you’re passed out on the floor.
DBT is the way. Good news is it can definitely work to repair what is broken. (Potentially) Bad news is she has to want to and be open to it. Try to be sure to always frame it positively.
God bless you Brother. You have a lot of dudes here that love you and want to support and help. At the very, very least, you know you have a place to come to vent.
Lot of good stuff ITT, just want to share some personal observation. Not suggesting I know more than the next guy, just sharing in case it’s helpful to anyone.
(Not directed at OP, but some of the other comments) I’d advise to be careful on being so sure the suicide threats are always manipulation. Yes, that certainly happens a lot, but BPD has very high rates of attempts and success. I saw years of loud threats, some barely drawing blood “just let me bleed out”s, etc. But she hid and was sneaky when she actually did attempt. Pills. Threats were for me, the real attempts were for her. I have real guilt about not seeing things, possibly because I “knew” she’d never do it for real, and just being lucky she wasn’t good at it.
Something most of us will never understand is how absolutely devastating it is for them to perceive being abandoned. Makes even less sense when they actively and aggressively push “their people” away. Do everything you can to reinforce that she’s loved and you have her back when she’s not asking for it/acting out. Hopefully fill the void. Hug her. A lot. Just because. And despite her protests :D You can’t control whether she accepts it, you can only control whether you put it out there.
My wife calls it going dark. I don’t know if this is normal for everyone, but she would do everything she could to hide it. Shame, mostly. Which leads to feeling more isolated and make everything worse. It took a very long time for her to be willing to me know when things start going South. But we got finally got here. And it beats the hell out of getting blamed for not seeing things that are purposely being hidden from you ;)
I’m not that guy who’s going to say living right, diet & exercise solves everything. But I have a lot of experience that physical activity and eating right at least correlates with if not causes being “better”. Find a way to incorporate these, bonus points for making it quality family time.
Get therapy for the family with someone who knows bpd. She’s going to lash out. She’s going to figuratively blow things up, or literally set boxes on fire. She’s going to push your buttons. You need tools. Also, read the books that have been recommended.
Some have suggested that this is evil. I don’t follow that line of thought. But I do feel there is similarity in how to fight it. Weeds only grow where they are allowed space. Darkness can only exist in the absence of light. If your bucket is full to the brim with good, there’s no room to slip in something bad. Don’t allow space for the weeds.
The rule of (at least) 51. If you don’t take care of yourself you won’t be able to take care of others. Same concept of putting your air mask on first. You can’t rescue anyone if you’re passed out on the floor.
DBT is the way. Good news is it can definitely work to repair what is broken. (Potentially) Bad news is she has to want to and be open to it. Try to be sure to always frame it positively.
God bless you Brother. You have a lot of dudes here that love you and want to support and help. At the very, very least, you know you have a place to come to vent.
This post was edited on 4/30/24 at 2:16 am
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