re: Looking to upgrade the RAM on a relative’s computer. I have a couple questions.

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Hard to rephrase it much more but I will try.

Gaming RAM: Typically this will reference XMP or XMP2.0. This memory standard allows varying speed and voltages. These features are typically limited to 3rd party motherboards you can buy yourself. Maybe if you buy a "gaming PC" it might come with a motherboard chipset that supports XMP.

JEDEC RAM: JEDEC is the typical standard for RAM timings but it doesnt allow for things like overclocking, voltage changes, etc, that gamers typically go after. If the RAM being looked at does not specifically list JEDEC timings and speeds, it is probably not going to work in a HP, Dell, etc.

TLDR example - an XMP gaming RAM stick saying it will work at 3200MHz will 99% likely NOT work in a standard HP, Dell, Lenovo, etc. motherboard requiring JEDEC RAM. If the XMP ram works, it will probably operate at a MUCH lower speed. If the RAM doesn't specifically list JEDEC 3200MHz, it isn't going to work because it will have a more demanding voltage requirement and gaming RAM wont cut at those voltage levels.

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Ok, I think I see where our disconnect is.

While I'm by no means a RAM expert, my understanding is that all RAM and all motherboards have a basic JEDEC profile. As an example, the kit I'm running is rated out of the box at XMP 3600mhz at CAS 14 at 1.45v (which I have OC'd to 3800mhz at 1.5v, but that's neither here nor there), but when you first install and boot up that kit, it boots at the base JEDEC spec, which I believe was 2666mhz at 1.2v. Now, would it be a massive waste of money to run it at JEDEC? Of course. But I'm fairly certain it will "work" in any DDR4 compatible board, simply at that lower speed and voltage.

Now, with that said, you are absolutely right that if you plug a kit of JEDEC 2666mhz XMP 3200mhz RAM into a board that doesn't support XMP, you're only going to get the 2666mhz. So, if you want the 3200mhz, you need to buy a kit that has a base JEDEC profile of 3200mhz.

Finally, while I might be inclined to dicker over whether lower or higher voltage tolerances are "more demanding", that's getting far beyond the scope of this thread, so I'll leave that for another day