re: Why doesn’t everyone sign a pre-nup?

quote:

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But the reality is making transactional/contingent moves for a life change that's not *supposed* to be transactional or contingent

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I understand that you emphasized "supposed" in your sentence above, but marriage in America is almost entirely transactional and contingent.

Specifically, it is contingent upon you getting what you want out of it. If you aren't, you are considered justified in breaking the commitment.

Everyone knows this and everyone but a tiny minority in the country approaches marriage this way. Those who even bother to get married in the first place, that is.

Might as well be honest about it. Especially since everything that people say about the justice system absolutely screwing men in divorce is absolutely true.

Now, if you're part of that tiny minority—and some on this thread seem to be—then good for you, and your chances for a meaningful marriage in which you become less selfish and more oriented toward duty and honor and commitment are great.

But not many people are modeling that sort of marriage any more. I understand why young people are confused and cynical. All they see are transactional relationships.