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Message
re: Starting Over After Divorce
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:25 pm to JimEagle
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:25 pm to JimEagle
Sorry for your loss but thanks for sharing.
Well done; you were there and your child will be the better for it.
(Fringe benefit: You are and will also be better off for it)
I wish every parent was as strong and caring as you have been.
Well done; you were there and your child will be the better for it.
(Fringe benefit: You are and will also be better off for it)
I wish every parent was as strong and caring as you have been.
0
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:29 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:I read your OP and a few responses but skipped to the and found this post. I knew almost immediately that pregnancy and PPD played a massive part in limiting the ability to make it right. Sounds like problems started not long before the pregnancy. There was ZERO chance of a make-up through the pregnancy and that compounded with the PPD. That depression is absolute hell for women who were already on the edge before pregnancy.
Mental health and Postpartum Depression has played a part.
Easier said than done, but you have to detach emotionally from her and live your life for your son. She'll always be in your life, but you have just treat her like the friendly clerk at a gas station you always stop at. Hi, bye, all business. If you can check your emotions, you're about to have one hell of high ride raising your son without her emotional strain. 100% guy stuff, the right way. Totally up to you if you want introduce a new women into that time, but I wouldn't worry about it for quite a while. Go get vasectomy or be EXTREMELY careful not to frick yourself even more with another baby momma.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:31 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:
watching my son grow.
Wise words from Mac Davis.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:36 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Get a Tinder and run through a couple of Brauds when you dont have your kid.
sounds like this is the prefect time for you to find a new hobby and branch out a little out ur comfort zone.
sounds like this is the prefect time for you to find a new hobby and branch out a little out ur comfort zone.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:37 pm to Red Boarman
36 and an old man??? Get out of town with that. Get back on your horse and ride! Don't look back and wonder why, live life going forward.
PS. Don't go crying to The Don, it won't be good ...
Act Like A Man
PS. Don't go crying to The Don, it won't be good ...
Act Like A Man
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:41 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
If you haven’t already gotten the divorce then don’t. There’s nothing that’s happening that can’t be worked on and repaired. I’ve gone through it years ago and I beat myself up constantly for not working harder to make it work. Especially when you have children together. My relationship with my kids suffers/suffered greatly. Lies, infidelity, out of love, whatever it is, if you both work on it, you can get through. Good luck.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 2:43 pm to Blueghost1978
quote:
If you haven’t already gotten the divorce then don’t. There’s nothing that’s happening that can’t be worked on and repaired. I’ve gone through it years ago and I beat myself up constantly for not working harder to make it work. Especially when you have children together. My relationship with my kids suffers/suffered greatly. Lies, infidelity, out of love, whatever it is, if you both work on it, you can get through
This could be horrible advice.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 3:20 pm to Mo Jeaux
quote:
This could be horrible advice.
Yeah it really is. I’m fortunate to have things go the way they have, it could have been much worse and if we tried to reconcile it would be very dangerous.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 4:35 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Wishing you the best. I have no experience with this stuff, but I tend to agree with the folks who suggested counseling and trying to make it work for the sake of your child if nothing else.
I wish you the best.
I wish you the best.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 4:42 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
I got divorced at 43 with 3 kids. You'll get through it.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 4:49 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Don't let the old man in
Posted on 2/19/24 at 4:51 pm to Tantal
I am in the middle of one at 52....it's wild going through. Can't wait to find the other side that everyone that has been through it speaks of. Definitely not for the faint of heart. Luckily my 16 year old is doing very well. That's all that really matters.
Still really trying to figure out how to be single when almost all my friends are married. Just a process I suppose.
Still really trying to figure out how to be single when almost all my friends are married. Just a process I suppose.
This post was edited on 2/19/24 at 4:59 pm
Posted on 2/19/24 at 5:05 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 5:25 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
I separated last March and finalized over the summer. I had no kids with her, she had two kids from previous relationship.
I honestly spent the last year doing all the shite I wanted to do. I travel internationally a good bit. I bought a turbo charged bmw convertible. I bought a sail boat.
Really a lot of just doing stuff for me instead of for a family. It sounds selfish but it's been amazing.
If I want to frick off in Cartagena for a few days I just go. If I want to go to the beach I jump on a plane to Isla Mujeres.
I set my own work schedule so taking days off here and there isn't hard.
I'm about to take my boat to the Mississippi barrier islands to go camping.
So my advice? Live for yourself for a while after the divorce.
Let life happen and don't stress the loss of the relationship.
My wife ended up with a guy who works at a body shop with 3 divorces under his belt and I laugh at how he is taken them on no trips and have no car while I sold the car I bought for my step daughter to her neighbor.
No more yearly Disney trips taking all my vacation money.
No more running 4 people to LA and NYC.
Everyone who told me not to raise someone else's kids was right. Just took me ten years to learn.
I honestly spent the last year doing all the shite I wanted to do. I travel internationally a good bit. I bought a turbo charged bmw convertible. I bought a sail boat.
Really a lot of just doing stuff for me instead of for a family. It sounds selfish but it's been amazing.
If I want to frick off in Cartagena for a few days I just go. If I want to go to the beach I jump on a plane to Isla Mujeres.
I set my own work schedule so taking days off here and there isn't hard.
I'm about to take my boat to the Mississippi barrier islands to go camping.
So my advice? Live for yourself for a while after the divorce.
Let life happen and don't stress the loss of the relationship.
My wife ended up with a guy who works at a body shop with 3 divorces under his belt and I laugh at how he is taken them on no trips and have no car while I sold the car I bought for my step daughter to her neighbor.
No more yearly Disney trips taking all my vacation money.
No more running 4 people to LA and NYC.
Everyone who told me not to raise someone else's kids was right. Just took me ten years to learn.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 5:38 pm to Napoleon
quote:
honestly spent the last year doing all the shite I wanted to do. I travel internationally a good bit. I bought a turbo charged bmw convertible. I bought a sail boat.
This sounds awesome. However, it also sounds like a prime example of a mid-life crisis.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 5:50 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
(no message)
This post was edited on 2/19/24 at 8:46 pm
Posted on 2/19/24 at 7:57 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
I’m currently happily married but I’ve run this scenario in my head. My conclusion is that I’m perfectly content to be on my own if my wife and I were to divorce. I’d have a nice apartment, play golf, and relax in my downtime but dedicate most of my time and effort into being a better dad, friend, employee, etc. The rest can sort itself out. I’m not interested in checking in with another person or learning all the good and BAD about them. Just me.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 8:27 pm to GeorgeTheGreek
quote:
This sounds awesome. However, it also sounds like a prime example of a mid-life crisis.
How much of what we currently mock as men having midlife crisis situations is just women trying to control men by framing them doing things they want to do as somehow negative?
Exactly how is it unhealthy to buy a car you can afford or find ways to maximize your life to whatever extent you can ad long as it’s not at someone else’s expense and within your financial means?
This post was edited on 2/19/24 at 8:55 pm
Posted on 2/19/24 at 8:39 pm to GeorgeTheGreek
If I buy a Harley then I hit the mid life crisis tri-fecta.
Posted on 2/19/24 at 8:42 pm to Napoleon
quote:got one in my barn I’ll make you a deal on
If I buy a Harley then I hit the mid life crisis tri-fecta.
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