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re: Serious Question: Wedding Gifts After Spending So Much Money to Attend?
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:41 pm to pelicansfan123
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:41 pm to pelicansfan123
Estimate the cost of the wedding & number of attendees.
Then calculate the “per head” cost associated with your attendance. (You, or you, wife, and kids)
Then at least double that amount in cash or gift equivalent.
You and the wife should give about an $800 gift
They are spending $400 on you. You think $100 is a nice thank you?
Then calculate the “per head” cost associated with your attendance. (You, or you, wife, and kids)
Then at least double that amount in cash or gift equivalent.
quote:
The **national average cost of a wedding** in the US is **$30,000** ¹. If we assume that the average number of guests at a wedding is 136 ¹, then the average cost per person would be approximately **$221**.
You and the wife should give about an $800 gift
They are spending $400 on you. You think $100 is a nice thank you?
This post was edited on 1/26/24 at 2:44 pm
1
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:44 pm to pelicansfan123
There's a difference here, if you live away from the bride and groom's location then yes I think its normal to give a gift.
If its a destination wedding AWAY from everyone like the beach, vegas, Italy, Mexico, etc. then I think no gift is fine.
If its a destination wedding AWAY from everyone like the beach, vegas, Italy, Mexico, etc. then I think no gift is fine.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:44 pm to pelicansfan123
Its really not that big of a deal
You are overthinking the shite out of this
If you love them and can go, go. If you can get a gift and want to get a gift do it.
Otherwise just go, be happy, and have fun. Nobody is keeping tabs
You are overthinking the shite out of this
If you love them and can go, go. If you can get a gift and want to get a gift do it.
Otherwise just go, be happy, and have fun. Nobody is keeping tabs
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:44 pm to pelicansfan123
quote:
If you're paying around 1000 dollars to travel to the location, get a place to stay, get your suit/dress dry cleaned, shouldn't that be enough of a gift?
Thinking that your presence is gift enough alone is pretty damn narcissistic.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:45 pm to Kujo
quote:
Estimate the cost of the wedding & number of attendees.
Then calculate the “per head” cost associated with your attendance. (You, or you, wife, and kids)
Then at least double that amount in cash or gift equivalen
This isn't on the attendee though and is a dumbass POV. I didn't force you to throw a super nice wedding, that was your choice as the bride and groom and should have no bearing on the gift.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:45 pm to Godfather1
quote:
Thinking that your presence is gift enough alone is pretty damn narcissistic.
I guess it's a matter of perspective. I think it would be narcissistic to expect a gift after someone took time off of their job and spent tons of money to come to your special day.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:46 pm to pelicansfan123
quote:
Money doesn't grow on trees and if I'm spending near 1000 dollars between hotel, plane tickets, dry cleaning, etc. it just feels like getting a gift on top of it is overkill.
If you struggle to afford going to the wedding, you probably shouldn’t go. Problem of the gift solved.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:46 pm to pelicansfan123
You don’t have to bring the gift when you attend. You can send a gift up to a year after
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:50 pm to pelicansfan123
quote:
If you're paying around 1000 dollars to travel to the location, get a place to stay, get your suit/dress dry cleaned
You paid all this and are complaining about the $100 wedding gift?
ETA: With a wife who is a bridesmaid for her sister, weddings are out of control nowadays. When did bachelor/bachelorette parties turn into 4 day weekend trips?
This post was edited on 1/26/24 at 2:52 pm
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:54 pm to pelicansfan123
quote:
pelicansfan123
If everything on the registry is too high then go off registry. I'll always get a gift to memorialize the marriage but it isn't always something off the list. They aren't going to throw it in the trash just because it isn't on a list.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:56 pm to pelicansfan123
quote:
Yeah I'm shocked how many downvotes I'm getting. Money doesn't grow on trees and if I'm spending near 1000 dollars between hotel, plane tickets, dry cleaning, etc. it just feels like getting a gift on top of it is overkill.
Clearly a lot of y'all don't feel that way.
I down voted you because you can't figure this out. First, family or friends aside, they're assholes. They chose to be married at some remote location. These people only care about themselves. Second, they are not holding a gun to your head to go. That is definitely your call. I wouldn't go unless I was pre-planning a vacation there already and even then I don't want a wedding involved in my vacation plans. Anyone planning a get-away wedding should understand that no one may show up. That's on them...not you. Otherwise, they can pay their attendee's entire expenses.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 2:59 pm to danilo
quote:
Question from the other side: those of you who got married, did you keep a list of who gave you a gift and what they gave you?
For thank you cards, yes.
For the purposes of being an ungrateful a-hole? No.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 3:02 pm to pelicansfan123
Pro tip for the OP, I only remember a handful of gifts from my wedding and one was a $1000 from a random uncle I barely talked to and didn't have much money. The other was a really nice set of knives.
The rest, hell I have no clue who got me anything really. If you just put $25 gift card in a card and move on 99% of people will never know or remember.
The rest, hell I have no clue who got me anything really. If you just put $25 gift card in a card and move on 99% of people will never know or remember.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 3:11 pm to pelicansfan123
If you can't afford it, then don't go 
Posted on 1/26/24 at 4:08 pm to pelicansfan123
Planning a huge wedding, with a shitload of invited guest ( most of whom the bride barely knows) is nothing but a huge gift grab. Downvote away. For the financier of the wedding is like pissing money down he toilet. 
This post was edited on 1/26/24 at 4:10 pm
Posted on 1/26/24 at 4:25 pm to pelicansfan123
I see nothing wrong with a wedding gift under $30.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 4:30 pm to Weekend Warrior79
quote:
Is this when they say, instead of gifts please consider paying for an excursion
That is exactly what it is, excursions.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 5:01 pm to danilo
quote:Yes, but only so I could write thank you notes. I did not notice who didn’t give us a gift nor did I care. But there are people who do notice and care so I always send a gift under any circumstances
Question from the other side: those of you who got married, did you keep a list of who gave you a gift and what they gave you?
Posted on 1/26/24 at 5:17 pm to danilo
quote:
Question from the other side: those of you who got married, did you keep a list of who gave you a gift and what they gave you?
We kept a list to write thank you notes but we didn't stuff it in a drawer to remember years later who gave us a salt and pepper shaker.
Posted on 1/26/24 at 5:19 pm to danilo
quote:
Question from the other side: those of you who got married, did you keep a list of who gave you a gift and what they gave you?
i like this line of reasoning.
This post was edited on 1/26/24 at 5:19 pm
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