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re: Have women bitten off more than they can chew w/(family courts/marriage/divorce)

Posted on 1/27/23 at 5:20 pm to
Posted by RadThibodeaux
Houston, TX
Member since May 2015
723 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 5:20 pm to
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/14/23 at 2:48 am
Posted by The People
LSU Alumni
Member since Aug 2008
4214 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 5:28 pm to
To answer your original question: Yes, women want it all.

Unfortunately, most realize later in life that they are not that special and that life has been a series of trade offs.

Some learn to live with their choices, but most paint themselves as victims and seek attention and validation of their choices on social media.
This post was edited on 1/27/23 at 5:50 pm
Posted by OKBoomerSooner
Member since Dec 2019
3131 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 5:45 pm to
quote:

Yikes!if after years together your love for your spouse isn't deeper than looks that is scary. What if one person becomes a burn victim or has some other horrible physically disfiguring accident? You just don't love them anymore because the physical attraction to what they used to look like is gone?
Wow

I responded to a post about getting fat but go off with your 0.001% chance counterexample queen

My point still applies even in that extreme example, though, and it's clear you didn't fully follow it. Are you going to be equally physically desirous of a spouse who became horribly disfigured? Almost certainly not. Is that going to affect your marriage? Almost certainly so, no matter how much we'd like to think otherwise. Does it mean you're going to get divorced? No (or it shouldn't, and you're a scumbag if you do). Spouses of people who go through those traumatic events generally report both a loss of love associated with a loss of physical desire and intense guilt and shame for that. For an emotion they can't even control! That's what's actually horrible.

I think if you made a lifelong vow "in sickness and in health" then you're a scumbag for leaving them if they got seriously injured in a horrific accident. You will notice I never said that you should leave them. But the idea that it won't affect your love for them is naive and ludicrous, and it actively makes it harder to discuss what love even means because people wrap a billion different ideas into it. Far better to accept human emotion for what it is and recognize that sometimes life sucks and you have to deal with the consequences for the betterment of those around you.

It's also worth noting that the sexes are attracted to each other for different reasons that you may not fully appreciate. Both sexes place a lot of importance on looks for desire, but women generally can more easily look past that if the man is confident and driven. For men desire is overwhelmingly physical. We're just wired different.
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
96378 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 5:49 pm to
I know very few cases where the man married up.

And at least one of them was due to them meeting at college orientation and dating shortly thereafter, resulting in her being a doctor and him being a house husband with the kids.


If you don’t find someone like that in high school or early in college, they are likely taken by the time you are looking for someone for the long term.
Posted by LRB1967
Tennessee
Member since Dec 2020
15807 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 5:52 pm to
There was a time when a guy who wanted sex had to get married or visit prostitutes. Now that people have quick hookups with no commitment, marriage is a less attractive option for some people.
Posted by frequent flyer
USA
Member since Jul 2021
2994 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 5:58 pm to
You have to know. If there is any doubt…don’t get married. Too much risk for guys these days.
Posted by evil cockroach
27.98N // 86.92E
Member since Nov 2007
7493 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 6:02 pm to
quote:

Hell, Gwen Stefani is having a baby in her 50’s.
not her eggs
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
96378 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 6:08 pm to
At least she didn’t have to have Geauxjudge preside over an adoption for her.
Posted by Ronaldo Burgundiaz
NWA
Member since Jan 2012
6561 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 6:14 pm to
The single females are the most left-wing group in America. Just look at electoral map of US with only males voting: an electoral bloodbath with landslide Republican wins every cycle.

They go on Twitter chimping out about the “current thing”; these things happen because they haven't had orgasms in many months/years. Most problems in America could end if the State provided $2,000 min per session to bodybuilders like myself to satisfy hysterical women. This would end all female political participation.
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
96378 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 6:29 pm to
For just a $10 start up cost and a 48 pack of AA batteries every 6 months, your sponsored feminist could make the little man in the boat happy!
Posted by TigerCoon
Member since Nov 2005
18889 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 6:52 pm to
aw. It might still happen for you, hon.
Posted by Jack Ruby
Member since Apr 2014
22846 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 7:49 pm to
quote:

understand all the reasons. But it still sad to me that our government and court systems seem to almost be encouraging young people from having families. And scaring men away from marriage due to the "rigged" nature of how divorce turns out.


Posted by tigergirl10
Member since Jul 2019
10323 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 8:23 pm to
Why do y’all have so much hate for women?
Posted by SmelvinRat
Slumwoody
Member since Oct 2015
1404 posts
Posted on 1/27/23 at 8:43 pm to
quote:

If your spouse was desirable at some point but gained a bunch of weight


Which happens frequently because one (or both) spouse just let's themself go. They accept an unhealthy lifestyle and pack on ~100 lbs. That's a choice. Age has nothing to do with that. I've seen this frequently, and it doesn't end well.
Posted by burger bearcat
Member since Oct 2020
8910 posts
Posted on 1/28/23 at 6:53 am to
quote:

Why do y’all have so much hate for women?


Quite the contrary.
My OP even stated my sympathy for women who do want to legitimately get married, have a family, and do it the right way. Men are now so on edge about the prospects of marriage, and it is affecting women too.

It's ultimately a shite system for all parties involved, if there is ever a divorce (Especially for the kids). Luckily I am still happily married, and my parents have always been together, so I have never experienced one personally, but have seen enough of them absolutely destroy lives.

It would be nice if there was more skin in the game for all parties involved, to keep families intact.
This post was edited on 1/28/23 at 6:55 am
Posted by burger bearcat
Member since Oct 2020
8910 posts
Posted on 1/28/23 at 7:05 am to
quote:

What I've gathered from this thread is that the posters are almost exclusively mid 40's divorcees with the following charecteristics:


or maybe the posters are exceptionally observant.


Exactly. I think most people in this thread are just observing the world they see around them, and pointing out how our current marriage/family court setup is not doing society or the family any favors.

I am not a divorcee or bitter about anything in my personal life, marriage is definitely not always easy, especially if you aren't being intentional about trying to preserve it.

But alot of people aren't capable or do not have the will to put in the effort to keep a marriage going. Society used to provide guard rails around a marriage/family to keep in tact, now they are putting exit ramps of all over the place.

Ultimately we get depressed, broken down, financially stripped husbands. And fatherless children. The statistics are out there on kids who grow up in divorced or fatherless households, and they are not good.

The whole system is a rotten tree, we should not be shocked when the fruit is rotten as well.
Posted by SWCBonfire
South Texas
Member since Aug 2011
1267 posts
Posted on 1/28/23 at 7:11 am to
quote:

My OP even stated my sympathy for women who do want to legitimately get married, have a family, and do it the right way.


I'm sure many women start out with the best of intentions... but family law, government bureaucracy, and society at large (especially social media) has provided an environment where women can and will bail out of a marriage with little or no repercussions if they're not a complete idiot.

Right now, I'd bet that most marriages for younger generations are successful or end in divorce primarily depending on the wife's emotional state and perceived social media profile, not infidelity/criminal behavior/abuse by the husband... all a woman has to do is change her mind, or get jealous of the lifestyle of others online, and the marriage is over.

Posted by WestCoastAg
Member since Oct 2012
145248 posts
Posted on 1/28/23 at 7:12 am to
quote:

Society used to provide guard rails around a marriage/family to keep in tact
thats a way to call it
Posted by WylieTiger
Member since Nov 2006
13000 posts
Posted on 1/28/23 at 7:27 am to
quote:

My coworker said her and her husband were in the same friend group and she turned him down multiple times before going out with him because he was just a friend. Now they are married with 3 kids.


That’s because she had to see if her “better” options were viable before settling on her now husband.
Posted by Dcr54682
Member since Jul 2021
25 posts
Posted on 1/28/23 at 7:40 am to
My stepson was 5 when e got married. he was a great kid and I treat him the same as my biological son. It was hard for him but better that his deadbeat dad was not around much.

If kids are teens good luck. Especially today
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